contacts

Don't wear them to sleep.

Guy A: my friend wore contacts to sleep, and they got stuck on the back of her eye and she had surgery to remove them .... yeah

Guy B (deep voice): That's pretty G.

by collin z January 13, 2010

break contact

military term for retreating or to get out of a bad situation before it gets worse.

"that fat girl keeps talking to Brad."

"well he better break contact before he has a coyote date."

by blscott September 13, 2006

contacts

Little thin pieces of plastic that makes a geek or techie look hot.

*puts contacts in* I am not a dork anymore because I don't have these fucking glasses on me!!!

by Lil Duff 2008 June 17, 2008

love contract

A legally binding agreement that states that two sexual partners did INDEED have consensual sex. Both parties sign this contract and can be held liable if said contract is violated.

Kobe should've had that girl sign a love contract.

by bigtones July 27, 2004

Jucket contractor

A guy with no license, insurance , or skills and uses a Minivan as a work truck with ladders tied to the top. Also has a coverted pick-up truck rear end as a trailer.

Check out that jucket contractor with that minivan work truck.

by Rikki 2 times February 21, 2008

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

(from April 29th, 2013 The Daily Show with Jon Steward) - featuring the Urban Dictionary word "Procrasturbating"

Sen. Susan Collins (R): "It's nice to know, that when we work together we really can solve problems!"

Jon: "Yeah, how nice from you - I think I have a new word for the Urban Dictionary: Congratsturbating."

by Al P Trollolol April 30, 2013

ass contractions

when an intense shit attack overwhelms you to the point where you'll shit in the river and wipe your ass with a rock.

after eating two dozen hot wings and jalapeno poppers, I had ass contractions like there was fire in my ass.

by zimdaddy August 16, 2003