bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).
Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking
by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 04, 2014
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Cum Guards

Cum Guards are another name for teeth. If you're looking to make a filthy comment to your buddies about someone's teeth, refering to them as Cum Guards would be a suitable descriptor.
That chick has a nice set of Cum Guards on her! She must use Colgate!
Hey Steve! How much did the dentist charge you for that new set of Cum Guards?
by Al-katraz August 08, 2013
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guard dog

The fat chick that hangs around with the hot chick. Usually requires a wingman to climb the back fence, distracting the orange ruffy enough for the sandlot kid to retrieve his baseball

The angrier the guard dog - the fatter the fatty
Nailed a hottie last night, couldn't have done it without Johnno climbing the back fence.

Angry, angry guard dog
by Ben November 19, 2004
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Penor Guard

Guard for your penor
by zyk0 March 30, 2004
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Color Guard

A person who is multi talented and do a routine with at least one of these flag, rifle, baton, and can in some cases dance, must know how to march.
Look at the color guard in the band their flags are so pretty.
by Elizabeth September 15, 2003
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Color Guard

Girls (mostly) who spin a flag, rifle, and/or sabre( or sword). They are a mix between cheerleaders, dancers, and football players. They work their asses off to look good out on the field. Color guards are always together in shows, and strive to look the same. They are the best part of marching band.
Bob: Hey, whose that hot chick wearing a unitard and spinning a flag?

Steve: Oh, that's Sally, she's on color guard!
Bob: Sweet.
by hannahgeeeeee August 06, 2009
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Sneeze Guard

At take-out restuarants, mainly sub shops or "as you like it" hamburger joints - the glass or plexi-glass barrier between you and the food, that allows you to see your sandwich being prepared.

Usually two feet high, and on a angle.
The sneeze guard at Subway keeps my sandwich snot-free.
by Time4SumAksion November 24, 2004
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