A white middle-to-upper-middle class woman, generally aged 30-55. Has the requisite 2.3 kids. Usually the product of a loveless childhood and an equally loveless marriage as the trophy wife of an up-and-coming executive or professional. Motto is "my kids are my life". Refers to her kids as "my Precious Little Angels" (PLAs) or "God's Gifts to Me" (GGTMs), and believes the entire world exists just for the benefit of her PLAs. Terrified that child molesters are lurking behind every bush, and that gays are determined to "recruit" her PLAs. Obsessed with whatever is the latest "danger to kids" being promoted that week on Oprah or Dr. Phil or the latest Parenting Magazine. The Soccer Mom is constantly badgering school officials and politicians, promoting the latest "nanny law/regulation" to protect the GGTMs. Usually fundie or conserviative Christian with a cult-like obsession, and makes sure her PLAs participate in choir and church soccer camps (hence the term: "Soccer Mom"). Extremely controlling of the social life of the GGTMs, repressing all independent thought, and all signs of non-conformity. The GGTMs teen years are marked by Ritalin and trips to high priced child psychologists. The PLA daughter often grows up to be an XXX rated porn star, while the PLA son becomes a transvestite drummer in a punk rock band.
The Soccer Mom has been the artistic inspiraton for outstanding movies such as "Diary of a Mad Housewife" and "The Betty Broderick Story". Also classic songs such as "Harper Valley PTA".
by frantic1971 March 25, 2010
Get the Soccer Mommug. Derogatory and insulting term for a female yuppie.
She drives a minivan or an SUV. While she drives, she watches movies on the DVD player. She holds a Starbucks Coffee and babbles on the cell phone while driving.
She has an attitude of entitlement, and is even more pushy than a New Yawwk Jew. She names her daughter Cassidy, Madison, Taylor, Bergman, or Sasquatch. She always votes for Hillary Clinton because she is wealthy enough to shield her income from taxes. If her name is Karen or Judy, she changes it to Taylor or some other masculine name.
She drives a minivan or an SUV. While she drives, she watches movies on the DVD player. She holds a Starbucks Coffee and babbles on the cell phone while driving.
She has an attitude of entitlement, and is even more pushy than a New Yawwk Jew. She names her daughter Cassidy, Madison, Taylor, Bergman, or Sasquatch. She always votes for Hillary Clinton because she is wealthy enough to shield her income from taxes. If her name is Karen or Judy, she changes it to Taylor or some other masculine name.
Jackson is a soccer mom. Stay out of her way when she drives, and hang on to your wallet when she votes.
by Delicious Tuna Wanda October 9, 2007
Get the soccer mommug. Retarded bitches who would protect their children from Video Games, Movies, Anime, Internet and just anything that contains the words hell or damn (I know these aren't swear words of course). They would yell at anybody who mentions anything about them. Even at a librarian who just lets someone know that none of that content is available (I'm glad I don't have such a overprotective mother).
Me: Excuse me but is there any manga here?
Librarian: Sorry. This library does not carry manga or anim...
Soccer Mom passing by: HEY! YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF AROUND MY KIDS!!!! OR I'M...
Librarian: SHHHHHH!!!!
Soccer Mom: *Who was dumb enough to think that the librarian was going to say the word "shit"* DON'T YOU SAY THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE!
Me: *takes soccer mom outside, 50 feet away from the library and casts Blazemost (a Dragon Warrior spell)* Silence is golden bitch!
Librarian: Sorry. This library does not carry manga or anim...
Soccer Mom passing by: HEY! YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF AROUND MY KIDS!!!! OR I'M...
Librarian: SHHHHHH!!!!
Soccer Mom: *Who was dumb enough to think that the librarian was going to say the word "shit"* DON'T YOU SAY THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE!
Me: *takes soccer mom outside, 50 feet away from the library and casts Blazemost (a Dragon Warrior spell)* Silence is golden bitch!
by StraightFMan February 14, 2005
Get the Soccer Mommug. A 25 to 45 year old woman, usually caucasian, who drives her "precious angels" around in a giant miny van. They censor anything fun such as gta and cod. Internet is what she calls "hell" because she's too stupid to teach them internet safety. Her children are a girl and a boy, both of whom got to some after school activity or another. They are usually dumb, slutty, and a bitch/asshole when they grow up. Her husband is some lawyer or a doctor who makes more more in a week than some people do in 3 months which is a crying shame. He is always on a "buisiness trip", fucking his secretary. The children can't see or hear ANYTHING BAD or they will grow up to be "poisened and scarred". I think they shelter them too much, they need a healthy dose of reality. And so do the parents.
I was sitting in the mall food court with my friend, talking about GTA SA and how I stole cars and killed people and stuff. The soccer mom was like, DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF MY KIDS, and I was like, it's just reality. You gotta accept it. Go some where else then.
Fucking stupid soccer mom
Fucking stupid soccer mom
by Tea MCBAGGER December 11, 2011
Get the Soccer Mommug. Usually refers to a white middle aged female. She is either divorced or quickly on her way to being divorced because no self respecting man will put up with her very long. She realizes that although she tries desperately to be everything from super house wife and super mother to super business exec- that she can do none of these things good so she needs a man.... but can't keep one. She is usually on the prowl for a new fake dad to help raise her brood of children from all of her failed relationships with men who have kicked her to the curb.
She usually self medicates herself, trying to drown out her soul calling her a failed prostitute as she shuttles her tribe of bastard children from activity to activity in a minnie van or SUV that is entirely to big for her to drive safely. Said vehicle may or may not be financed by a current or former significant other (victim), just as is her crumbling lifestyle which constantly reminds her that her time is running out.
She tries to dress and act like women half her age but can't quite pull that look off anymore. But does it anyway and looks foolish except when in a pack of others like her.
Many of this ilk often end up cold and alone. Even their plethora of fatherless offspring usually leave them in search of sanity and the promise of normalcy.
She usually self medicates herself, trying to drown out her soul calling her a failed prostitute as she shuttles her tribe of bastard children from activity to activity in a minnie van or SUV that is entirely to big for her to drive safely. Said vehicle may or may not be financed by a current or former significant other (victim), just as is her crumbling lifestyle which constantly reminds her that her time is running out.
She tries to dress and act like women half her age but can't quite pull that look off anymore. But does it anyway and looks foolish except when in a pack of others like her.
Many of this ilk often end up cold and alone. Even their plethora of fatherless offspring usually leave them in search of sanity and the promise of normalcy.
Man at a bar says to another- "Sorry I'm late bro. Some man hunting fat assed soccer mom with a bunch of kids in aS.M.A.Vcrashed me on the way over. What a dumb cunt".
by The_Dragon March 12, 2008
Get the soccer mommug. Soccer moms usually are 40 year old ladys-- excuse me, whores who got knocked up by some douchebag. Most of the time they sign they're litle 12 year old kids to comunity center soccer legues, so they're rooms are filled with plastic trophies that kid doesn't care about. Soccer moms also have organizations that heavly support groups such as: RIAA, ESRB, Parental Advisory, Peta, Green-Peace and "WWF." Because of this support many things have been restricked from young audiences.
Soccer moms also drive shity SUV vehicles like Dodge Caravan's and Mercury, and what you will usually find in those cars are sports equipement, toys and other lame stuff.
Soccer moms also drive shity SUV vehicles like Dodge Caravan's and Mercury, and what you will usually find in those cars are sports equipement, toys and other lame stuff.
by SweanKimerson September 4, 2006
Get the soccer mommug. An extremely offensive term for a female yuppie. She drives a mini-van or an SUV with a cell phone in one hand and a Starbucks in the other while watching a DVD player and turning around to talk to her kids in the back. She has an income large enough to vote for Hillary Clinton or some other liberal swine without worrying about having to pay the taxes, because she can shelter the money. She names her daughters Madison or Taylor or Spencer or Cassidy.
by Bumkicker Slade April 25, 2005
Get the soccer mommug.