Double Fisted Monkey Style

A discipline of masturbation characterized by extraordinary vigor and skill, as well as enormous genital peril. In trained hands, double fisted monkey style can form a glorious, balanced union between a man and his fingers. In untrained hands, it can lead to genital fracturing, inversion, or worse.

"Dude, Bob tried Double Fisted Monkey Style last night."

"Oh no! I warned him! Did he survive?"

"The hospital said he might eventually recover partial use of his legs. They dug his penis out of a tree two miles downwind."

"That stupid son of a bitch."

by NotAGrillShitter November 13, 2011

strangling the stank monkey

When you stop showering for 3 or more days but still masturbate despite the awful smell of your genitals

Dude I haven't showered in a week, but I'm being brave and strangling the stank monkey twice a day.

by Big Ebs February 15, 2014

big black monkey

a scary monkey that is black, can't swim, and fast as fuck

omg that big black monkey stole from me!!!!!!

by KarsCaulk December 1, 2022

Talk the hair off a monkey.

A term for when a person is incessantly talking shit.

Bob - So i go to the supermarket and I get this trolley with a dodgy wheel...blah blah blah...what the hell do women have in thier hand bags...blah blah blah...Garlic Bread! Garlic Bread!...blah blah blah...

Mike - Bob, shut the fuck up! You can Talk the hair off a monkey.

by pinballpickup August 31, 2006

monkey sauce

The secretion produced by the female while having sex with her male partner.

I was playing the mating game with Lois all last night. You know, doing that wild thang. Damn if I didn't get her monkey sauce all over the insides of my new tighty whities.

by Digger April 27, 2006

monkey dick

Colorful term for a Vienna sausage, probably military slang. Compare to foreskins on toast.

Let's open a can of monkey dicks. I'm in the mood for pig in a blanket.

by A. Hick July 23, 2006

Monkey Business

word for any kind of shady activity, devilry, devilment, tomfoolery, dishonesty, trickery, chicanery, skullduggery, shenanigans, mischievous, devilish and deceitful behavior. It also means by all the following: being on any crazy stuff, down low, lies, being shady, disrespectful, playing someone, and secrecy.

Tamika's best friend, Brooke, is hooking up with her little brother, Trevon, because she think he's really cute and be thinking try to seduce him. Then, whenever later, she played him.

*(Brooke walk up to Trevon)

Brooke: I just want to let you know you are really cute. We'll be dating tomorrow.
Trevon: Thank you. Okay, cool.

Then, very next few weeks. She played him.

*Trevon (thinks and say to himself): It seems to me, this is all just monkey business.

Later, Tamika found out her best friend been playing her little brother and be on and doing some stupid stuff. Trevon already told his sister on her. They're no longer best friends.

by HotCincy92 April 11, 2015