I'm sorry, want a cookie? 

A phrase said in response to a completely pointless story in which one bitches about something nobody cares about.

Can be said either extremely and obviously sarcastically or with extreme concern. Both methods are fairly effective in making the victim look like a fag.

1. Stupid bitch's facebook status that's just looking for attention: Oh my god, I'm so ugly, my boyfriend hates me, my life sucks!

Any normal person: I'm sorry, want a cookie?

2. *Person rambles on 5 minutes about pointless story of how their life sucks*

Me: I'm sorry, want a cookie?

I'm sorry, want a cookie? by Coco Puffz July 5, 2009

bakin cookies 

to stick your balls inside a girls vagina, while keeping your penis out

i was bakin cookies cuz my balls were cold

bakin cookies by bob_deep May 1, 2007

fortune cookie 

THe dessert served with Chinese Food.

I believe in the advice of the fortune cookie.

fortune cookie by AYB February 19, 2003

Cooked cunt 

Someone who is so over tired, that one of or both forms of mental and or physical retardness has developed and taken control of the nervous system. Often seen in shift workers in a government capacity.

Hey have you heard Bryce talking shit? Yeah, he's one cooked cunt.

Cooked cunt by cool cunt klint November 5, 2016

pan cookies 

another way of saying "having sex" when you're in Juvenile Detention.

"Mark and Sarah were making pan cookies when they were supposed to be doing these dishes."

pan cookies by ChristinaBObeena January 19, 2008

MRE Cookies 

a type of foodstuff made by mixing sugar, peanut butter, and creamer packets in an uncovered metal cup of some kind then heating with a butane cigarette lighter for a couple minutes- these ingredients are all found in various Meals Ready to Eat (and on the floor of most people's cars but that's beside the point)- hence the name, MRE Cookies

Guy #1- What the fuck are you burning in the back seat of my car?!
Guy #2- Nothing's burning! I'm making some MRE Cookies from the shit I found near the back of this piece of shit Buick.
Guy #1- Hey! If you're gonna insult my car, you can fucking walk!

MRE Cookies by Post_amerika February 11, 2009

squirt on the cookie 

When a group of males get together a masturbate in a circle towards a cookie. The last person to cum on the cookie has to eat it. See circle jerk.

The guys a Sigma Alpha Epsilon played squirt on the cookie last night.

squirt on the cookie by Wiseman June 27, 2006