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Retarded porch monkey

Used as a roast or to show that someone is so stupid that they belong in the jungle
Man: *holding phone* where is my phone
Woman: in your hand you retarded porch monkey
by Happy! July 10, 2021
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podaholic

A term to descirbe someone who is utterly consumed with an Apple iPod or any mp3/portable music player.

Typically, they can be spotted with wires dangling from their ears and may have a certain oblivious look to them. They tend to not realize they are the receipient of shouts of "Excuse Me" or "Hey, look where you're going."

They can usually be seen having a strange head bob, a body twitch and/or inexplicable movement of the lips. Occasionally, one may even observe strange sounds eminating from the oral cavity that may resemble some incomprehensible tune or lyrics. (This may be a mating ritual.)

They also tend to measure time not by a clock, but by battery life or amount of "juice" left.

Their most comfortable environment is the subway, but also may enjoy busy sidewalks or any place else they can ignore a crowd of people that has enveloped them.

The rest of the time is spent hidden in their lair using every last penny of their rent, alimony, child support payments and drug money on "ear candy" from iTunes, Napster and other purveyors of aural delights.

Warning: Beware the ones that stare at you while shouting lyrics at the top of thier lungs- they are extremely dangerous!
"Excuse me. Excuse ME. EXCUSE ME. I'm trying to get off here. Goddamned podaholic!"

"I missed my stop on the subway. I couldn't get off the train because some podaholic was blocking the way and couldn't hear me when I asked him to move."
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Related Words

wrap around porch

excessive, unkempt, female pubic hair that encompasses the vaginal and anal region.
I can't believe Geoffery went down on Shirley because I've seen her "wrap around porch" creeping out of her swimsuit.
by tapewormzoo April 10, 2010
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Poratte

A combination of the words “porn” and “latte” used to describe the most depraved and explicit latte art.

The baristas are usually trained in secret caves deep within the Lickey Hills.
Andy: Yo Kieran, Simon and I just had ace poratte. It was a guy with three wangs giving it to a hot Malay chick!

Kieran: Was that from Emma? She makes the best poratte.
by Pogoextreme July 4, 2018
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Porch nigga

A (usually Black or minority) sell-out who sits up front and pushes the agenda or gives a Black face (or representative of another disenfranchised group) to policies, actions or institutions inimical to his or her own people or people. A porch nigga or porch negro is you will, is a convenient front-man who holds much less authority than his or her name or title implies. The phrase has long been in common use among Blacks and Whites as well as has this specific meaning. This is not new slang or a racist term per se, though it is obviously impolite and politically incorrect to use in many settings. It is akin to an Uncle Tom, only the porch nigga has some relatively high nominal status and may just be an opportunist or someone who just doesn't care how his role as a front man might be harmful. Porch niggas think that they are special or deserve their high nominal status. Recently a black commentator told Juan Williams at Fox News, when he was fired for an anti Islamic comment from his other gig at NPR that he was going "back on the porch". This phrase was misunderstood by some not versed in American racial vernacular.
Person #1 "Obama is the porch nigga for the same old policies we've been seeing that screws over working folks and people of color throughout the world."
Person #2 "You know that's right!"
by Green Brathwaite October 30, 2013
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Pokahotass

Bastarization of Pokahontas, noun describes a very attractive Native American woman.
That coupier behind the casino counter is a real Pokahotass!
by Shabi January 30, 2005
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Porcher

When you’re outside with your buddies and you’re sitting on the front porch or the back porch or really any sided porch, and you crack open a cold brewski with the broskies and start havin those conversations about that asshole coworker or Sally down the street who you just found out is the reason you’re now all Igloo buddies. And then the next day you can’t wait to do it all over again, only this time in order to summon the troops you send out the rallying cry, “Hey, wanna have a porcher?”
Richard: “Hey Dick, how are ya now?”
Dick: “Oh ya know, got a lot on my mind”
Richard: “Wanna talk it over a porcher?”
by djnd August 1, 2019
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