The Nussy, or the “nose pussy”, if you will, was discovered during the corona virus pandemic of 2020. People that had to be tested for Covid-19 had to have their nose swabbed right where the brain connects, which often led to people rolling back their eyes and gagging.
A nose-swab-fetish developed from this, because we, as humans, ruin everything.
“Oh fuck yeah, swab my nussy”
Sir, please, I went to medical school
When someone discusses an amazing game around you, giving you the urge to play said game
Pete: Oh I always play as Male Shepard in Mass effect. So I can bone Tali.
Sam: aw shit. Now I’ve got the Mass Effect effect.
The first, and greatest, 151 Pokémon.
I got all Original 151 Pokémon in my yellow game! Time to lose my virginity!
A combination of the words “porn” and “latte” used to describe the most depraved and explicit latte art.
The baristas are usually trained in secret caves deep within the Lickey Hills.
Andy: Yo Kieran, Simon and I just had ace poratte. It was a guy with three wangs giving it to a hot Malay chick!
Kieran: Was that from Emma? She makes the best poratte.
To curious salamander someone you must be starting to initiate sex; kissing, gentle caressing. You must then switch off all the lights and draw the curtains so it is pitch black, where one of your friends comes in (this can be a stranger but preferably a friend) and you both start caressing the person until they realise it’s two of you. If they don’t notice you are both obliged to ejaculate on their face, turn on the lights, scream CURIOUS SALAMANDER and run off naked.
Kieran: so I hear you and Andy broke up?
Simon: Kinda, he invited me round to curious salamander Emma, but she noticed us so we left to have sex in the sink instead.
When a person wearing jeans sits down and the zipper/button area sticks up, making it look like the wearer has an erection.
Known as the grown zone as that’s extra room for the penis to grow.
Kieran: Andy, look, Simon has a massive erection.
Andy: no that’s just his grown zone. Look, Emma has one too and I know for a fact she doesn’t have a penis.
Andy: ... what?
When fucking your partner and they call out the wrong name in bed. You then pull out a taser, cattle prod, stinging nettle, anything that is to hand, and attack them with it. Typically on the backside, but testicles or nipples work best.
Emma: hey how’re things with you and Simon?
Andy: not great.. he called out his ex’s name, Kieran, in bed last night so I had no choice but to furious jellyfish him.
Emma: oh that sucks. Let’s bone.