masturbate

To jack one's beanstalk.
Or, to choke one's chicken.

I enjoy choking my chicken.

by Ass Clown November 3, 2002

Masturdate

Doing things that one would normally do as a couple. Such as seeing a movie or eating out. Usually happens after a breakup.

Campbell couldn't get a date so he decided to masturdate and went to a movie.

by Mercur0 January 7, 2011

Mastubatorium

An room of varying size completely devoted to sexual self satisfaction. Can be a shrine of many modes of masturbation.

Jesse: "I caught Kevin jerkin off stalefish in my room!"

Axel: "That mother fucker, I told him specifically to use the Mastubatorium!"

by AxelPee April 21, 2008

masturbate

One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.

Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.

by raspberry (lust) muffin July 28, 2005

masticate

Main Entry: mas·ti·cate
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -cat·ed; -cat·ing
Etymology: Late Latin masticatus, past participle of masticare, from Greek mastichan to gnash the teeth; akin to Greek masasthai to chew -- more at MANDIBLE
Date: 1649
transitive senses
1 : to grind or crush (food) with or as if with the teeth in preparation for swallowing : CHEW
2 : to soften or reduce to pulp by crushing or kneading
intransitive senses : CHEW
- mas·ti·ca·tion /"mas-t&-'kA-sh&n/ noun
- mas·ti·ca·tor /'mas-t&-"kA-t&r/ noun

Do you hob nob while masticating your comestibles?

by Zach O'Brien January 3, 2004

masturbate

1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See wordgod/word.

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.

by fraghappy November 6, 2003

masturbate

What to do whenever you aren't in school or at work. Actually, you can do it there too, but be subtle.

I masturbated while I wrote this definition for urban dictionary.

by IM JERKING OFF RITE NOW April 4, 2009