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35 minutes ago

Referring to one's masterplan having already taken effect when another person confronts you about trying to affect the outcome.

Can also be used to quickly prove one's intense intellect and stun foes, or to refuse invitations to do things that are extremely uncool.

Initially coined by Ozymandias of Watchmen, the graphic novel and movie.
Guy: Hey, you wanna go get something to eat?
Guy 2:Nah, I already ate. 35 minutes ago.

Boss: That memo isn't on my desk.
Lowly Corporate Peon: That's a shame, because I turned it in 35 minutes ago.
by thirtyfive March 17, 2009
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in 5 minutes

A phrase said by people in hopes to shut you up about asking them when something will happen. 99% of the time, the anticipated event doesn't happen in 5 minutes. It often doesn't even happen in 15 minutes.
At 3:10 PM
Person 1: When the hell are you getting here? This was scheduled for 3:00 PM!
Person 2: In 5 minutes.
Person 1: OK.
***20 minutes later***
Person 1: It's been way more than 5 minutes, what the hell are you doing?
Person 2: hold on! Why are you so impatient?
Person 1: Because you told me you'd be here in 5 minutes!
by lordcg January 8, 2018
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Microsoft Minutes

Times claimed by Microsoft products to complete tasks (installing products, copying files, etc). Swings both ways, can be greatly exaggerated or massively optimistic.
A- "How long till your done with that OS install?"
B- "About 5 minutes"
A- "Is that Microsoft Minutes?"
B- "Yeh"
A- "See you in an hour"
by Dicer April 27, 2006
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two minutes

A standard unit of time lasting anywhere from thirty seconds to an hour and a half, based on the female in question and the task at hand.
He: "Are you ready to go? The ballgame starts in twenty minutes!"

She: "Two minutes!"

<ten minutes of makeup application later>

He: "I'm leaving. Now."
She: "Two minutes!"
by PsychoPuppyDad May 18, 2010
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You Won't Last Five Minutes Playing This Game

A typical pornhub ad that usually advertises a sex game. If you're horny enough to click on it, be prepared to insert your address, social security number, and credit card information. If you're a fan of watching a caveman fuck a dinosaur or watching Shrek porn, it is highly recommended that you jerk off to that ad.
Pornhub Ad: You Won't Last five Minutes Playing This Game ...
Me: TEST ME YOU FOOL
by the bravest FUckfaCE February 9, 2020
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fifteen minutes

A proverbial period of time for one's short-lived fame.
This band's fifteen minutes are just about up because nobody listens to them anymore.
by Albert February 15, 2004
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5 minutes

when you go to the supermarket with your mom and she says to stay in the car because she is just going to be 5 minutes to get a milk carton, but 30 minutes later when you died of heat in the car, she comes back with 7 bags of useless junk.
mom: stay in the car i'm just going to be 5 minutes
daughter/son: are you sure your going to be just 5 minutes?
daughter/son: *dies of heat*
mom: i'm back!
by else3 January 24, 2018
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