Turd Hurdle 

Anything in ones way along the most direct path between your current location and the nearest toilet when arriving at the privy is a very "time sensitive affair". These obstacles should be lept over with haste and zeal proportional to how severe a turtle head is in progress.

"Dude, Jibba gambled with some Taco Bell and lost, he stiff legged it all the way to his front door, he opened it up and his dog rushed him, his girlfriend started in on him, and his cell phone rang simultaneously. He proved he has mastered the art of the turd hurdle."

Turd Hurdle by Mr. Blobfish August 6, 2016

Turd Embargo 

Depending on the context, a "turd embargo" is:

1) A total inability to defecate (i.e. shit) for an extended period of time, or under normal circumstances, because your body has decided to halt the manufacture and exportation of magic butt fudge. Typically caused by diet, drugs, or existential angst. Also known as "severe constipation";

Or

2) Deliberate and systematic exclusion of a specific person from social gatherings because they are obnoxious, loud, creepy, or otherwise socially undesirable, i.e. a "turd".

(Example 1): "Hey Jackhole, there's only 1 bathroom in this bar, and you're holding it up. So take some damned Ex-Lax ; lift the turd embargo!"

(Example 2): "Dude, why didn't you invite my brother to this party?!"

"Because he literally FUCKED my X-Box at the last party, in front of everyone - no foreplay, no lube, not even a god-damn reacharound. It hasn't worked right since then, so he's under a permanent turd embargo."

Turd Embargo by Admiral Viggo September 20, 2016

Turd-boiler 

Turd-boiler refers to a car that is of advanced age and runs like shit. It doesn't run smoothly, hiccupping along and spewing clouds of noxious fumes as it labors along. Also, it is an embarrassment to be seen in, either owning it or riding in it.

Dude, did you the car Dave was driving, that thing is a turd-boiler?!!

Turd-boiler by Dr shammy December 24, 2018

Turd Basket

(Adjective) Turd Basket. Turd Basket refers to sombody whom you think is a Dumb Ass or is full of shit.

Your a Hecking Turd Basket.
John Doe is a real Turd Basket.
I can not deal with theas Turd Baskets anny more.

Turd Basket by Mr.Cats July 2, 2020

Turd Burgular 

When having sex through the back door, only to pull your tool out and find a clump of turd attached to your knob

"Turd Burgular" I turd burgled Cindy last Saturday night but disaster averted, I wiped it on her curtains before she found out

Turd Burgular by Turd burgular 101 July 13, 2011

turd burgler 

A gay person, one who burgles turds from the rectum of his gay partner.

hahhaha......no, you = turd burgler, i win.

turd burgler by Greg Campbell January 18, 2003

turd meister

master of the turds
biggest turd of them all

Fucking hell he is such a terd meister

turd meister by Matt Breen May 18, 2005