constibating

When you are unable to defecate and pass the time by masturbating on the toilet.

Dude, I couldn't take a dump last night, so I just started constibating.

by Rapaca November 16, 2014

Constipation Contraction

A contipation contraction is when your anus / gluteus maximus muscles contract strongly causing a sharp and very uncomfortable pain, usually the same pain experiencenced whilst experiencing constipation. The contractions aren't always indicating constipation but there's a good chance it may follow.

Ben: *lift ass off chair and screechs in pain*
Josh: what's wrong?
Ben: Just had a constipation contraction -- ouch.
Josh: haha. eat too much cheese?

by okaythen873 July 31, 2009

Constimplating

When you are so deep in thought you get the same look as when you are trying to squeeze one out while constipated.

Person 1 - "Give me just a minute to think about this..."

Person 2 - "Dude, it's been 5 minutes. Stop constimplating and make a decision!"

by Drisen November 26, 2016

Constipation Stroke

When you try to shit but can’t so you make the effort worthwhile by giving yourself a good old fashioned wank and rubbing one out before flushing and hoping the turd will pass next attempt. If not, repeat.

I’m on my third constipation stroke today. If I don’t blow the other way soon I may have to resort to an enema.

Sometimes I think he eats a poor diet just for the ability to constipation stroke.

by Dick Onchin January 11, 2022

Constipainium

A hypothetical element that has the atomic number as 169. Meaning that it has 169 Protons and Electrons. But it has 420 Neutrons. This element can be found in constipation or any other constipated problems

I found Constipainium in my butt after pooping.

by Clashroyalelarry April 10, 2022

alcoholic constipation

The inability to pass a pub or bar.

Man, that was a great night last night! All seven of us suffered alcoholic constipation. We must have hit every bar in town!

by TheNotBob December 6, 2009

vehicular constipation

Anyone driving slower than you and refuses to move over to let you pass. Beware all station wagons. Or just anyone driving ridiculously slow. Beware handicap as well. I mean c'mon, you already had the accident.

vehicular constipation usually drive station wagons, or are handicapped, or foreigners, etc...

by b-tox May 17, 2012