"I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester," is the definitive, empirically tested retort which wins an argument forever, and for which no come back is possible.
Edbogard: .. and so I think that Sartre was essentially in error when he mistook the homology between ontogeny and...
Pasco: Arrgh! I can't take it any more! I must ask you to eat crap sandwiches, you Malthusian monkey molester!
One of many all-purpose expletives comparable to fuck, shit, damn it or bloody hell, typically uttered when something surprising and/or undesirable has happened. It is considered to be more whimsical and socially acceptable than blatantly dropping the f-bomb in public.
Usage of "crapmonkey" as an expletive is believed to have originated in suburban New England.
"Crapmonkey! I just stabbed myself in the arm with a friggin' pencil. How'd that happen?"