sir bartholomew mctavish's definitions
That strange feeling when having an abnormally lengthy piddle when from nowhere a torrent of farts emanate from the anus.
Max: When I was having a slash a minute ago I'm sure I fartinated. Have you ever done that?
TERRENCE: Only when whizzing on your Mum
MAX: WHAT?!
TERRENCE: Nothing. got any pies?
TERRENCE: Only when whizzing on your Mum
MAX: WHAT?!
TERRENCE: Nothing. got any pies?
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 3, 2008
Get the Fartinate mug.Where a fit young girl has top bollocks, an older chesticularly gravity afflicted lady will have bottom bollocks.
1:)
Ricky: Bianca, can I touch your bottom bollocks?
Bianca: What are you trying to say? 'Ave I got saggy tits or sumfing?
Ricky: Well,I'd be lying if I said no, but they're still really nice and...OWW...wotchoo 'it me for you daft facking woman.
2:)
Lindsay Lohan, in 30 years.
Catherine Zeta, in 15 years.
Ellen Degeneres, now.
Ricky: Bianca, can I touch your bottom bollocks?
Bianca: What are you trying to say? 'Ave I got saggy tits or sumfing?
Ricky: Well,I'd be lying if I said no, but they're still really nice and...OWW...wotchoo 'it me for you daft facking woman.
2:)
Lindsay Lohan, in 30 years.
Catherine Zeta, in 15 years.
Ellen Degeneres, now.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2009
Get the bottom bollocks mug.MAN#1: Look at that old lady, I bet she's going to bend a quack
MAN#2: No she's not, she just picking up her car keys.
OLD LADY: Excuse me young man, where are the toilets? I've just shat meself on account of the quack I just bent.
MAN#2: No she's not, she just picking up her car keys.
OLD LADY: Excuse me young man, where are the toilets? I've just shat meself on account of the quack I just bent.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 25, 2010
Get the bend a quack mug.To grasp something abnormally tight until it either explodes, turns blue,contains thins, is crushed or sues. Sometimes all four.
This is how all blind girls should hold their boyfriend's cocks whilst furiously trying to brush a spider off it, that he is damn sure is there.
This is how all blind girls should hold their boyfriend's cocks whilst furiously trying to brush a spider off it, that he is damn sure is there.
1. Stifler was caught in a Lesbian Stronghold in Am Pie 2
2. The way Peter Parker has to hold his cock to do wee wees in that red wetsuit movie trilogy.
3. A place where hidden things are usually found.
SON: Dad, i;ve noticed that you have no testicles. explain.
DAD: They're in your Mother's Stronghold son.
SON: Her Handbag Dad?
DAD: Yup.
2. The way Peter Parker has to hold his cock to do wee wees in that red wetsuit movie trilogy.
3. A place where hidden things are usually found.
SON: Dad, i;ve noticed that you have no testicles. explain.
DAD: They're in your Mother's Stronghold son.
SON: Her Handbag Dad?
DAD: Yup.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 2, 2007
Get the stronghold mug.The act of baptising a girlfriend, wife, fuck buddy (daughter's?) breast or "baps" region with god's sticky nectar.
PATRICK:I say, did you hear that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were married in the early 1980s?
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 25, 2009
Get the bapjizm mug.Simple congregruity of 'tri', meaning third and nipple. The correct adjective for a third nipple. Can be pronounced 'try-nipple' but 'trin-ipple' sounds funnier.
Ozzie: Hey, did you see Lily Allen whip out her trinipple?
Keith: No,
Ozzie: Yeah, it was almost down her stomach
Keith: What, like a dogs?
Ozzie: Yeah.
Keith: Does that mean she's part canine?
Ozzie: Hell yeah.
Keith: I'd wouldn't say no to fucking that.
Ozzie: But she wouldn't say yes to you. Dogs still have class. And you're her Dad
Keith: Oh, yeah, still would though. (They high-five eachother.)
Ozzie: (Under his breath) Prink.
Keith: No,
Ozzie: Yeah, it was almost down her stomach
Keith: What, like a dogs?
Ozzie: Yeah.
Keith: Does that mean she's part canine?
Ozzie: Hell yeah.
Keith: I'd wouldn't say no to fucking that.
Ozzie: But she wouldn't say yes to you. Dogs still have class. And you're her Dad
Keith: Oh, yeah, still would though. (They high-five eachother.)
Ozzie: (Under his breath) Prink.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 19, 2008
Get the trinipple mug.To put your dick to the telephone speaker when talking to a ladyfriend when she is boring the arse off you about babies or flowers or something else that's all girlyfied.
Dicktaphone is when on the phone to Ann Coulter and she's banging on about politics or crap etc. and you realise you're her husband as your cock falls out of your pants into the reciever.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 12, 2008
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