sir bartholomew mctavish's definitions
A man, at home, alone, watching 'Count Spunkula Lives!' with his bored housewife. The TV woman get a hugely impossible facial. The man looks longingly at his wife and she shoves a pencil down his dick. How's that?
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 10, 2008
Get the count spunkula mug.That time of year when you just can't be arsed to do anything or can't be arsed to bother with Christmas. It's about the same time all the shops cash in off December 25th by starting their X-Mas sales in Mid July and which don't end until the end of February.
Enid: Cyril, are you going to put up the decorations? It's only four days until the birthday of our Lord?
Cyril: I can't be Christmarsed.
Enid: Oh go on, I'll let you fondle my new hip?
Cyril: Fuck off you slag.I should've married your sister. At least she swallowed.
Cyril: I can't be Christmarsed.
Enid: Oh go on, I'll let you fondle my new hip?
Cyril: Fuck off you slag.I should've married your sister. At least she swallowed.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 21, 2008
Get the Christmarse mug.1:) Not just insane but cock-o-nuts insane.
2:) Dick & balls euphemism.
3:) Jim's granny from American Pie 3.
2:) Dick & balls euphemism.
3:) Jim's granny from American Pie 3.
HERMAPHRODITE #1: Dude, why do you have that Sony Playstation 3 up your ass?
DUDE: Because I like it.
HERMAPHRODITE #1:Dude, you're not just insane, you're cockonuts.
DUDE: Thanks.
DUDE: Because I like it.
HERMAPHRODITE #1:Dude, you're not just insane, you're cockonuts.
DUDE: Thanks.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009
Get the cockonuts mug.To grasp something abnormally tight until it either explodes, turns blue,contains thins, is crushed or sues. Sometimes all four.
This is how all blind girls should hold their boyfriend's cocks whilst furiously trying to brush a spider off it, that he is damn sure is there.
This is how all blind girls should hold their boyfriend's cocks whilst furiously trying to brush a spider off it, that he is damn sure is there.
1. Stifler was caught in a Lesbian Stronghold in Am Pie 2
2. The way Peter Parker has to hold his cock to do wee wees in that red wetsuit movie trilogy.
3. A place where hidden things are usually found.
SON: Dad, i;ve noticed that you have no testicles. explain.
DAD: They're in your Mother's Stronghold son.
SON: Her Handbag Dad?
DAD: Yup.
2. The way Peter Parker has to hold his cock to do wee wees in that red wetsuit movie trilogy.
3. A place where hidden things are usually found.
SON: Dad, i;ve noticed that you have no testicles. explain.
DAD: They're in your Mother's Stronghold son.
SON: Her Handbag Dad?
DAD: Yup.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 2, 2007
Get the stronghold mug.MAN#1: Look at that old lady, I bet she's going to bend a quack
MAN#2: No she's not, she just picking up her car keys.
OLD LADY: Excuse me young man, where are the toilets? I've just shat meself on account of the quack I just bent.
MAN#2: No she's not, she just picking up her car keys.
OLD LADY: Excuse me young man, where are the toilets? I've just shat meself on account of the quack I just bent.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 25, 2010
Get the bend a quack mug.Planet of origin of the Gay Lords. They are the Lods of all things Gay and apparently inhabit the entire revived TV series of Doctor Who.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 23, 2008
Get the gayllifrey mug.The tackle you spunk with. Testicles and Penis. Cock and Balls. Twig and Gigggle Berries. Meat and Two Veg. Strawberry Shaft and Vanilla Scoops. Testicle (Pronounced testiclay) & Poking Rod...etc...
PETER: Andy, what's the matter?
ANDY: My wife kicked me in me spunk tackle.
PETER: Dannielle? Whatever for?
ANDY: Coz I said she was a stupid fat fucking minge muncher who was worse in bed that her comatose Mother.
(Brief moment of silence then a hefty High-Five.)
ANDY: My wife kicked me in me spunk tackle.
PETER: Dannielle? Whatever for?
ANDY: Coz I said she was a stupid fat fucking minge muncher who was worse in bed that her comatose Mother.
(Brief moment of silence then a hefty High-Five.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 16, 2008
Get the spunk tackle mug.