sir bartholomew mctavish's definitions

wankipediac

Someone, usually lazy wankers, who use Wikipedia to do homework, teachers to mark their student's coursework, politicians to find and pass dumb ass laws and what George Lucas looks at online all day while he makes $478.55 an hour doing fuck all.

Mum: Son, are you doing your homework?
Son: Yeah, I found the answers on the web
Dad: Fucking wankipediac.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 18, 2008

fuckmas

What Disney and all other "child" orientated businesses are doing to us at Christmas. Wishing us a 'Merry Fuckmas, you've just paid us £40 for a piece of shit, you stupid fucking moron. You keep this economy going and you buy our crap?'

At Eurodisney
DAD: Go say hi to Mickey son,
SON: Okay Dad. Hiya Mickey, we thought you were great in Steamboat Willy
MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME MAN:Fuck you kid, give me your watch, cash and toys. (punches kid in face and signs Dad's car in own feaces.) Merry Fuckmas assholes.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 29, 2008

imdbber

An 'imdbber' is somebody who subscribes to IMDB or is constantly online everynight about 10ish looking up new episodes of Doctor Who, looking for the new Star Trek film's sequel, hurriedly awaiting news on the reboot of Superman or else trying to get any on-the-spot-information about the next Narnia flick. Or else scanning through the fit-one-that-plays-Susan's twitter entries.

Er, me.

Matthew Waterhouse, desperatley waiting for a stalker to find him so he can be Adric again in a hostage situation.

Leonard Nimoy is an imdbber. Online at home about 10ish, looking up to see if anybody in Iceland doisn't know he was Spock. (And no saddos not Kerry Katona Iceland. The place Bjork is from. Gimboids.)

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 7, 2009

Dysonbabe

A girl or woman who is such a filth monger, or has not had it in ages, appears to just hoover a man's member into her without much effort.Usually a bit of a slack annie down there as it goes in like a dentist's mirror. Without touching the sides.

Dysonbabes are numbered in the many in Britain alone. Such as many, many people who I can't be bothered to name.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008

twanjo

Is a word that refers to the practise of one person, usually a male, playing with his banjo. In essence to twang his banjo. And if some ladies have banjos, then they can twang them whilst they're on live at the circus. BUt usually the banjo would refer to the knob.

Edmund: Hilary, where is our firstborn Rutland Percival Smythe-Brigstock Jones XIV?

Hilary: Upstairs, playing with one of those god-awful new contraptions from the Americas. A najbo I think it's called. Why do you ask Mr. Smythe-Brigstock, also known as my husband?

Edmund:Is that what that racket is? He'll go blind doing a twanjo on his banjo like Daddy did. That's why I wish to know Mrs.Smythe-Brigstock, also known locally as my wife...and village bicycle.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 4, 2007

bling waddlers

or 'bling waddler' are words only applying to fat men between 35 and 45 who wear shorts, sandals and puffa jackets. The commonly tend to drive 'Ive-Got-An-Under-Sized-Penis' cars,Four by fours or minivans. They also are overly hairy, facially smug and wear Bluetooth's ear pods proudly as though they are rich Godlike men walking the streets. In actuality they are fat, waddling,hairy twats who'll end up with brain problems,drink problems and wives who only do it with them for the cash. Also they are probably closet homosexuals who film their neighbours kids through the cracks in the garden fence.

CHILD: Mummy, mummy why is that fat man walking like he needs a poo and what is that stupid f-ing thing in his ear.

MOTHER: Well son, that's what we call 'Bling Waddlers' or 'Bling Waddler'. I want you to stay away from people like that. I'm not prejudice but they are the work of Satan and you'll burn in the fires Hell if you ever become one of those. And that thing in his ear is something that lets the police know where the bastard is.

CHILD: (Scare witless) Okay Mummy, take your pills...

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 5, 2007

boil foiled

when a lady's or gentleman's underpant region become increasingly bothered, horny, moist, or brought to the boil a situation comes up which negates or foils the sensation.

A hard on boil that becomes foiled.

1: Watching late night TV for a bit of self loving when a picture of Karen Matthews, Cilla Black or Jade Goody comes on and your 'rock' becomes a 'flop'

2: When a lady is watching late night TV in the hopes that a bit of twisted gaymensex comes on and instead find nothing but Karen Matthews, Cilla Black and Jade Goody lezzing out.

3: Wanking over Britney when you realise you're her Dad.Boil Foiled.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 11, 2008