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michael foolsley's definitions

turd rider

tailgater -having a poor 'detective' of a driver UP YOUR ASS!! -GET THE FUCK OFF MY ASS!!! (assuming you are driving the speed limit or more!!!!) one car length for every ten miles of speed??
i'm going to pull over and dump this turd rider!!

this turd rider is PISSING ME OFF!!

i'm going to get out of the way and make this turd rider 'point man'
by michael foolsley December 16, 2009
mugGet the turd ridermug.

unnatural sex

anal intercourse -this is another of the 'polite school' insults that actually could be used in church
rob, i saw you pulled over by that trooper; what happened?
rob: he caught me speeding, he was having unnatural sex with me!
by michael foolsley November 23, 2009
mugGet the unnatural sexmug.

male half-life

the male living past about age forty, thinking sex is available, but being DEAD WRONG!
while the female, due to various biological developments WRAPS IT UP !!
(this is the greatest, saddest, untold story for the younger males! ie: that of the poor male, left to spontaneously combust!

no more unsatisfied, "messy chore" for the female! or, getting "preggums" by a being unfit for fatherhood !
jeff was feeling strongly damned by male half-life while his lecher instincts ran wild!

i "burned in hell" in later life, thanks to male half life!

due to male half-life, the male will 'take on' about anything! ie: "sloppy the pig", bag of broken glass/garbage, box of nails, e.t.c.
by michael foolsley May 30, 2022
mugGet the male half-lifemug.

mental tattoo

*self explanatory*, non-disposable knowledge! -bad or good etchings, (present, past, or possibly future...) on the malleable human mind. these could include: death/s, birth/s, divorce/s, non-disposable interaction of quality with other humans, assorted tragedy/s, etc...
these are the memories which we will carry to the grave!, (-like the time you got fucked so vigorously you wanted to cry for your mama!, but it still was glorious!!)
my memories of that car crash will remain a mental tattoo!!

she ground the poison out of me with vigor, it shall forever be a mental tattoo!!

that sex party was never again re-created, everyone got off; and it shall forever remain a mental tattoo!!

she got off like a fireworks finale, a mental tattoo i will never forget!!
by michael foolsley January 14, 2010
mugGet the mental tattoomug.

give birth

have a shit -very much like being in labor, complete with "trimesters" and 'pain' (i feel the 'baby' kicking!!)
i was seriously pregnant, and knew i'd better rapidly get to a toilet and give birth!

i was in my third trimester, and having intense labor pains!

i got to a toilet just as the 'baby's' head came out, and then i proceeded to give birth!
by michael foolsley December 31, 2009
mugGet the give birthmug.

emerson bigguns is here

'covert' statement to reveal the presence of a large chested female, stated in hootie and blowfish tour bus while surveying crowd.
by michael foolsley November 28, 2009
mugGet the emerson bigguns is heremug.

chug cognac

a never to occur scenario...a "sipping liquor" meant to be tongue savored!!

in the immortal words of wisdom of a good friend; "one does not chug cognac" !!
you can chug beer, but one does not chug cognac!!

he RAN out the door!, not walked!!; when she began to chug cognac!!
by michael foolsley May 2, 2011
mugGet the chug cognacmug.

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