maxhole's definitions
Him- Fuck, Fuck, FUUUCCK! I ccccan't even strike a fffucking mmmatch!
Her- Let me tttry.
Him- Fffine, you tttry it!
Her- My ffffingers aren't working, they're tttoo cccold. Goddammit! I dropped the mmmatches.
Him- Ddddon't get all spagitated.
Her- I'm not spagitated, it's just freezing and you kkkkeep shouting.
Him- Sorry. Hey...
Her- Cut it out, I'm trying to start a fire.
Him- So am I.
Her- Oh! MMmmmmm.
Him- Waitaminute... Gggoddamn fucking zipper... WORK, DAMN YOU!
Her- Now who's spagitated?
(Loud ripping sound)
Her- Well, that's ONE way to get your jacket off.
Him- Shut up and kkkiss me.
Her- Let me tttry.
Him- Fffine, you tttry it!
Her- My ffffingers aren't working, they're tttoo cccold. Goddammit! I dropped the mmmatches.
Him- Ddddon't get all spagitated.
Her- I'm not spagitated, it's just freezing and you kkkkeep shouting.
Him- Sorry. Hey...
Her- Cut it out, I'm trying to start a fire.
Him- So am I.
Her- Oh! MMmmmmm.
Him- Waitaminute... Gggoddamn fucking zipper... WORK, DAMN YOU!
Her- Now who's spagitated?
(Loud ripping sound)
Her- Well, that's ONE way to get your jacket off.
Him- Shut up and kkkiss me.
by Maxhole June 23, 2009
Get the spagitatedmug. White House of Ill-Repute NOUN (huite hows uv il re peut) NOUN. A White House (1600 Pennsylvania Av., Washington D.C.) which is filled with whores like James Guckert and Scott McClellan, who will say anything for money is a house of ill-repute, or whorehouse (see “presstitute”).
"Sit there with all the other presstitutes and suck up phony press releases and talking points? Fuck that. I'd rather be out in the field, or digging through dusty old archives than cover that dog-and-pony show. I don't wanna be a press correspondent in the White House of Ill-Repute."
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
Get the White House of Ill-Reputemug. Witless Protection Program (wit less pro tek shun pro gram) NOUN. An organization devoted to saving clueless people from the consequences of their stupidity.
Molly- Did you just threaten to kill the president?
Conrad- No, I said he's going to get shot.
Molly- How would you know?
Conrad- He's GOT to, nobody's going to stand for Obama giving a million dollars to every black person in the country!
Molly- What makes you think he's going to do that?
Conrad- Oh it's obvious. You know the way all those blacks work together.
(she scribbles something on a scrap of paper).
Molly- You are going to need this number.
Conrad- Who's this?
Molly- That's the number for the Witless Protection Program.
Conrad- No, I said he's going to get shot.
Molly- How would you know?
Conrad- He's GOT to, nobody's going to stand for Obama giving a million dollars to every black person in the country!
Molly- What makes you think he's going to do that?
Conrad- Oh it's obvious. You know the way all those blacks work together.
(she scribbles something on a scrap of paper).
Molly- You are going to need this number.
Conrad- Who's this?
Molly- That's the number for the Witless Protection Program.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
Get the Witless Protection Programmug. faithfool (faith fool) NOUN. A person whose beliefs are destructive to self and others, i.e., Crusaders, Jihadists, Fascists, Communists, etc. Fanatics who lie, cheat and kill for their god, in return for dubious heavenly rewards. From “faith” and “fool.”
by Maxhole June 20, 2009
Get the faithfoolmug. In the bestiary of subatomic particles, none is faster than the smartickle. This weightless, inertialess positively charged unit of energy is so fast, it only exists in the future. It is always leaving us behind.
They can be found in large quantities near preschools, but the number of smartickles steadily decreases at schools until graduation from college, when the level reaches zero.
They can be found in large quantities near preschools, but the number of smartickles steadily decreases at schools until graduation from college, when the level reaches zero.
by Maxhole June 23, 2009
Get the smarticklemug. An extremely long, thick, hard penis that controls its owner so completely, he cannot prevent it from making all his decisions.
The questionnaire was long and boring.
"Have you ever driven more than 300 miles for sex?"
Three hundred miles? John mused to himself. How about three thousand? He'd done that at least a dozen times.
"This test was written by pussies." he murmured.
He finished, at last and turned in his form and #2 pencil to the redhead in the tight black leather skirt. "Thank you." she said, icily, as she slipped the form into the scoring machine, which began whirring softly. It spat out the form and she snatched it up and perused it with steadily increasing wonderment.
"Perfect score... this isn't possible... this... you... " she met John's arrogant stare. His faint smile. Was he for real?
"My god." she said at last.
"What is it like living under a pricktatorship?"
John smiled and tilted his head and sighed.
"Why don't you come home with me and find out for yourself?"
He observed once again, the splendor of the color nature program playing out on her skin. Her cheeks flushed in a riot of bright red, wildfire spreading out across her alabaster orbs as her heart began jackhammering and her eyes dilated.
"OK," she heard herself say.
It was time she did some real research.
"Have you ever driven more than 300 miles for sex?"
Three hundred miles? John mused to himself. How about three thousand? He'd done that at least a dozen times.
"This test was written by pussies." he murmured.
He finished, at last and turned in his form and #2 pencil to the redhead in the tight black leather skirt. "Thank you." she said, icily, as she slipped the form into the scoring machine, which began whirring softly. It spat out the form and she snatched it up and perused it with steadily increasing wonderment.
"Perfect score... this isn't possible... this... you... " she met John's arrogant stare. His faint smile. Was he for real?
"My god." she said at last.
"What is it like living under a pricktatorship?"
John smiled and tilted his head and sighed.
"Why don't you come home with me and find out for yourself?"
He observed once again, the splendor of the color nature program playing out on her skin. Her cheeks flushed in a riot of bright red, wildfire spreading out across her alabaster orbs as her heart began jackhammering and her eyes dilated.
"OK," she heard herself say.
It was time she did some real research.
by Maxhole June 22, 2009
Get the pricktatormug. Bushtard keeps trying to declarify his reason for going to war in Iraq. First it was to be a wartime president, then it was revenge for 9/11, then he wanted their weapons of mass destruction, then he had to get Saddam. Next he had to spread democracy, after that, it was to liberate the Iraqis and finally he's claiming the Democrats forced him to go to war.
by Maxhole June 19, 2009
Get the declarifymug.