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Definitions by magickdio

Crazy Time 

There comes a point in an argument where your opponent runs out of logical material to use against you, yet refuses to conceed. This is the moment you enter Crazy Time. Men will recognise it as the part where women start yelling, through furious tears, about things that happened years previously, and putting a whole new spin on them, then telling the man exactly what he meant by what he said. Except it's rarely anything anyone would ever mean, or even think. Women will know it's Crazy Time when men start saying things like "I'm ending this argument right now!" and then continue bellowing about how it cannot be allowed to go on, and arguing over why it needs to be finished. Men can never finish an argument. They can only halt it "for now". The very same argument will be referenced and recommenced during the next period of Crazy Time.
Jennifer started to cry and shout at the same time, virtually incomprehensible wails about how last year, Doug HAD given her a funny look when she said hello to her ex, and that he had basically called her a whore when he commented on how nice it was that they were on speaking terms after all these years. It wasn't what he said, you understand, it was what he MEANT that made all the difference, and THAT is how Doug knew that they were in Crazy Time, yet again.
Crazy Time by MagickDio September 14, 2010

Selfish Wanker 

1) A person who is selfish and behaves like an idiot

2) A person who is greedy with their masturbatory habits. A selfish wanker will steal a communal porn collection, steal the only box of tissues remaining in the house, even steal a picture of your own dear mother to wank over. They care nothing for the feelings or masturbation plans of others. They will even turn up late to meetings and dates because of their five knuckle shuffling, but will never ever call and explain the delay. Wanking will always come first to these people. A truly selfish wanker will even prefer the touch of their own hairy palm to the touch of another human being.
Steven is a selfish wanker. He sent his girlfriend out to the strip club with his mates so that he could stay in and abuse himself alone.
Selfish Wanker by MagickDio September 4, 2010
In the singular, this is a term more commonly slurred by drunken idiots- ie "You, eh? Eh!! You don'even wannave a go at Mick, you'll get your'ed ripped off, right?? Eh!! He's fnard! Harder n you!!" In this instance, the words "fucking" and "hard" have been run together.

In the plural, the term is used to describe the chubby, thigh chafed bollocks of those men who can't find high street trousers that do up around their sagging beer gut. Fat nards. Fnards.
Geoff flopped gratefully down on the nudist beach; ignoring the horrified stares of the beautiful people he opened his legs and aired his fnards.
Fnards by MagickDio September 3, 2010

Sack Race 

1) The fierce, unspoken competition between men to each prove themselves to be the alpha male of the group.

2) A competition between friends to see how quickly they can get someone in bed.
Greg and John are neck and neck in their sack race, as Greg has bagged himself identical twin girlfriends, equalling John's threesome with 2 glamour models.
Sack Race by MagickDio August 28, 2010
1) Something wihich was previously a cat
2) Dyslexic version of "exact"
1) "Weird cushion"
"Yeah, that's my Mum's excat"

2) "and it was at that excat momnet that I knew I wandte to fcuk you"
Excat by MagickDio August 20, 2010

Ho Wrangling 

The main objective on a guys night out. To wrangle is to round up. A Ho is a loose woman.

A ho wrangler is a guy with massive easy girl pulling potential, who rarely ever spends a night alone, or with the same person more than twice.

A night of ho wrangling consists of bankrupting yourselves by buying numerous shots for women who are waiting at the bar, hoping that one might want to shag you. You will also dance in a grinding motion behind several women, in an attempt to wrangle them.
Vic's stag night is going to be a full on ho wrangling experience.
Ho Wrangling by MagickDio August 20, 2010

Dick Enemy 

A guy who always tries to get the same girls as you, and often manages. Your sexual histories contain a lot of the same names, and you hate and fear one another, yet oddly respect your equal potential for ho wrangling. If you ever encounter one another at a urinal, you will both sneakily try to glimpse each other's equipment, to assess the enemy's capabilities. You will never again talk to female friends who bed your rival.

You should never engage in a threesome with your dick enemy, no matter how hot the girl is, as you would likely half kill her through your mutual need to prove yourself the best, and then end up almost killing one another in a fight.
You can't shag Lewis, he's Rosco's dick enemy- he'll never talk to you again
Dick Enemy by MagickDio August 20, 2010