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Definitions by gnostic3

place. Standing in the stagnant tawny waters of the Petitcodiak River, the most tidally-boring stream in the world, Moncton serves both as a bedroom annex for vibrant Shediac and as a diverticulum for the number two flowing from Halifax to Quebec. Briefly controlled by a pastoralist francophone population who wrested control of the terrain from its hunter-gatherer inhabitants who neglected to have their deed countersigned by Henry IV of France or the Pope, Moncton was, by 1713 solidly in the hands of British industrialists and a smattering of displaced fruit farmers longing to star in Longfellow poems.

Currently Moncton is home to many, many nature parks, a dearth of good Albanian eateries, and a world-class quarry which provides the marble bases for every Anne of Green Gables statuette sold in eastern PEI.

Two hospitals, when they aren’t feuding about who has the prettiest nurses, provide a host of services to Monctonites of all stripes including the Mi’kmaq who somehow were overlooked when the Europeans divied up the better land parcels and consequently spent 500 years standing out in the figurative blizzards getting literally frozen to death.

Speaking an odd joual, giving regional blocks to already sleeping orthopaedic patients, and preparing to move to Alberta are currently the most popular activities in Moncton but, with the completion of the new cannery on Butbutandan Street, stuffing unrecognizable bits of lobster into tins will soon put Moncton on the map.
What’s the difference between being a Moncton lobster trapper who works three months a year and a hobo?

120,000 dollars a year.

Canadian dollars?

Our, mais le taux de change est tres favorable.
Moncton by gnostic3 June 18, 2021

beefaced 

adj. Extreme facial oedema following a bee sting. A painful condition which is considered humorous if it is non-fatal..

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Dude! I wiz pollin’ the apiaristos and the buzz was like you’d bee totally beefaced this A.M. and it bee all true! That is a honey of a reaction right there. This selfie with you giant red mug be a keeper.
beefaced by gnostic3 May 19, 2021

masklaffers 

n. People who deny the need for taking preventative measures in any field of endeavour.

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These steel fragments I take out of your corneas every week are not only painful for you but will eventually leave you sightless, unemployable, broke and homeless. Why not wear this free preventative mask?

I spit on your logic! And your “prevention”! I come from a long proud line of masklaffers and I have inherited their pride, their blind ignorance of logic and science and ...

And their guide dogs?

ESPECIALLY their guide dogs!
masklaffers by gnostic3 May 8, 2021
n. Expert in a given field who nearly makes a gross error.

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Don’t cut that with your scalpel you dipple! That’s my finger!

So you say. We’ll let the pathologists make that call.
dipple by gnostic3 May 8, 2021
n. Proudly ill-informed redneck willing to blindly ignore science while the bodies pile up

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Masks don’t never work; it’s in the bible. A true albertan would know that.
albertan by gnostic3 May 4, 2021

covidation 

v. The envelopment of a country, business, school etc by the viruses, rules or miasma of Covid-19.

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We are tired of the covidation affecting us all. So tired.
covidation by gnostic3 April 30, 2021

spiderbang 

n. Aussie term for any useless time-wasting activity.

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Strewth mate! Get on with the operation! We didn’t scrub up for a bleeding spiderbang.

Hang about. The gasser hasn’t tubed her yet.
spiderbang by gnostic3 April 30, 2021