speedball

Speedball was one of the greatest games on the Commodore Amiga computer (and ST but let's not talk about that POS - spit).

Written by the Bitmap Brothers and published in 1991, it combined elements of the film "Rollerball" and... a computer game. Extreme violence coupled with super-smooth graphics and crunching sound ensured a two-player contest between you and your best mate ended up in fisticuffs.

A sequel was written, Speedball 2, which captured all of the elements of the first game but introduced eight-way scrolling, extra ways to gain points and even more violence.

Luvverly.
You: "Oi! Twat! Wanna game o' Speedball?"
Best Mate: "Ya! I'll fuckin' cream ya!"
You: "You reckon?"

5 minutes later

You: "Fuckin; cheat!"
Best Mate: "Bollocks! My joystick is better!"
You: "Mine got stuck! Cunt!"
by Flatster May 18, 2006
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happy slappy

Criminal acts, often caught on mobile video phone's and passed around to other children to witness. Often these are scenes of bullying, rape, and, in some cases murder.
Newspaper headline: "Happy slappy incident: gang of 19, average age 12, gang rape girl, 13".
by Flatster November 24, 2005
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sarbanes oxley (SOx)

1) An industry created from nothing that creates nothing.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.
SOX dweeb: Do have everything under control?
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!

/bang

SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.
by flatster October 24, 2006
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jelly jewelry

The creation of jewelry consisting of semen.

Rings: during hand-shandy's
Necklace's: when she doesn't swallow
Bracelets: when she gives you a hand-shandy
She was tugging hard the other night and I shot me load, giving her some nice rings and plenty of other jelly jewelry as well...
by Flatster November 09, 2005
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ram raider

1) To drive a car through a shop window in order to illegally procure goods from aforementioned emporium.

2) Ulgy people can look like they've been ram raiding on motorcycles.
1)
Chav: Lookit! Burbree! Lessnickit!
Chavette: 'right Kev! Puya foo' darn n ram raidit!
Chav: aight! Arma ram raider, me!

2)
She was so fucking ugly, she looked like she'd been ram raiding on a motorcycle.
by flatster October 23, 2006
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auditor

The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.

Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"

Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
by flatster December 05, 2008
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fact

The distance between the anus and the vagina.

Example: hold up your left hand and make a "C" shape with your thumb and index finger.

That's the distance you're looking for.
A FACT: The distance between a fuck hole and a muck hole and if you miss yer inna shit 'n thassa FACT.
by flatster November 25, 2005
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