Flatster's definitions
The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.
Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"
Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
by flatster December 16, 2008
Get the auditormug. The second poxiest kind of "music" on the planet, rap being the number one all-time shitest. I won't even go into why; just listen to some and feel your IQ decrease and your brains slop out from your ears. You may want to wear a cap sideways after the experience and that also makes you like a nob.
Pure talentless drivel. If someone said I should listen to some I'd rather, and I quote, "stick my wedding tackle in a lions mouth while whipping it's love spuds with a wet towel".
Pure talentless drivel. If someone said I should listen to some I'd rather, and I quote, "stick my wedding tackle in a lions mouth while whipping it's love spuds with a wet towel".
by flatster October 9, 2006
Get the hip hopmug. Excrete, empty one's bowels. The act of getting rid of last night's over-indulgence in curry and copious amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale. Dog's also turf out regularly, for no other reason other than to turf out in general... and pound for pound their's is bigger.
"You look relieved. Wassup?"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
Get the turf outmug. by Flatster October 28, 2005
Get the furry oystermug. Wide-eyed, adrenalin-filled psycho grimace on one's face as you charge in to battle/a fight/game of chicken. Exemplified by "Full Metal Jacket".
HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!
JOKER
Sir?
HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!
Let me see your war face!
JOKER
Sir?
HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!
by Flatster May 18, 2006
Get the war facemug. Arms and fists when used in a fighting sense, particularly when landing a felling blow upon the opponents chin.
by Flatster October 27, 2005
Get the Chin pistonsmug. The puddle of vomit on the floor. Typically indoors hence the "carpet" prefix.
Show's evidence of one's last meal and therefore consists of many colours. Hence, "kaleidoscope".
Strangely, all spew consists of carrot's and tomato skins regardless of what one has eaten.
Show's evidence of one's last meal and therefore consists of many colours. Hence, "kaleidoscope".
Strangely, all spew consists of carrot's and tomato skins regardless of what one has eaten.
"I feel sick..."
"Don't you being doing no carpet kaleidoscope in my house!"
***barf***"
"eeeuuuwww duuuuude!"
"Don't you being doing no carpet kaleidoscope in my house!"
***barf***"
"eeeuuuwww duuuuude!"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
Get the carpet kaleidoscopemug.