Flatster's definitions

sarbanes oxley (SOx)

1) An industry created from nothing that creates nothing.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.

SOX dweeb: Do have everything under control?
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!

/bang

SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.

by flatster October 24, 2006

furry oyster

The female pubic hair region that vaguely resembles an oyster shape.

"Did she get her kit off, then?"
"Yeah! And good christ - she had some furry oyster on her!"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

turf out

Excrete, empty one's bowels. The act of getting rid of last night's over-indulgence in curry and copious amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale. Dog's also turf out regularly, for no other reason other than to turf out in general... and pound for pound their's is bigger.

"You look relieved. Wassup?"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

auditor

The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.

Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be

Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"

Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".

by flatster December 16, 2008

drood

A character in the Everquest MMORPG's. This is not a definable character type but rather one who exhibit's certain traits. For example: being a moron, having spell's that other characters would find useful but charging exhorbitantly for, inability to speak in English - can only speak l33tspeak, cannot spell, shits pizza and red bull, doesn't know how to play the game, think's he's l33t (strangely, only male's aspire to being a drood) and probably has a face like a meeting of the worlds worst acne.

In other words, the annoying prick in the game that spoils the enjoyment of others.

Player 1: /ooc Could someone please direct me to Fippy's hill?"
Drood: /shout n00b! u suxx its east out over TS!! no00b!
Player 1: /ooc Um...
/drood: /shout LOLOLO! /d me i r0ck00z
Player 1: Sorry?
/drood: /shout /d me n00b
Player 1: /quit

by Flatster October 28, 2005

lorks

A very mild exclamation for use in polite company. The fuller version is "Lorks a lordy" if you have a need for a more vernacular expression.

"Lorks a Lordy! My bottom's on fire!"

***Courtesy of "The Young One's"***

by Flatster October 28, 2005

war face

Wide-eyed, adrenalin-filled psycho grimace on one's face as you charge in to battle/a fight/game of chicken. Exemplified by "Full Metal Jacket".

HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!

JOKER
Sir?

HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!

by Flatster May 18, 2006