flatster's definitions

lorks

A very mild exclamation for use in polite company. The fuller version is "Lorks a lordy" if you have a need for a more vernacular expression.

"Lorks a Lordy! My bottom's on fire!"

***Courtesy of "The Young One's"***

by Flatster October 28, 2005

pea soup

Extremely thick smog, characterised by early black-and-white films set in between-the-war-and-just-after settings.

Cue: really bad cockney accent...

Cockney chap: Cor blimey, guv! I carn eevin see me face in this!
Cheeky chappy: Nah! S' a right pea souper n' no mistake!

by Flatster November 18, 2005

speedball

Speedball was one of the greatest games on the Commodore Amiga computer (and ST but let's not talk about that POS - spit).

Written by the Bitmap Brothers and published in 1991, it combined elements of the film "Rollerball" and... a computer game. Extreme violence coupled with super-smooth graphics and crunching sound ensured a two-player contest between you and your best mate ended up in fisticuffs.

A sequel was written, Speedball 2, which captured all of the elements of the first game but introduced eight-way scrolling, extra ways to gain points and even more violence.

Luvverly.

You: "Oi! Twat! Wanna game o' Speedball?"
Best Mate: "Ya! I'll fuckin' cream ya!"
You: "You reckon?"

5 minutes later

You: "Fuckin; cheat!"
Best Mate: "Bollocks! My joystick is better!"
You: "Mine got stuck! Cunt!"

by Flatster May 24, 2006

furry oyster

The female pubic hair region that vaguely resembles an oyster shape.

"Did she get her kit off, then?"
"Yeah! And good christ - she had some furry oyster on her!"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

turf out

Excrete, empty one's bowels. The act of getting rid of last night's over-indulgence in curry and copious amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale. Dog's also turf out regularly, for no other reason other than to turf out in general... and pound for pound their's is bigger.

"You look relieved. Wassup?"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

auditor

The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.

Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be

Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"

Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".

by flatster December 16, 2008

jelly jewelry

The creation of jewelry consisting of semen.

Rings: during hand-shandy's
Necklace's: when she doesn't swallow
Bracelets: when she gives you a hand-shandy

She was tugging hard the other night and I shot me load, giving her some nice rings and plenty of other jelly jewelry as well...

by Flatster November 10, 2005