fact

The distance between the anus and the vagina.

Example: hold up your left hand and make a "C" shape with your thumb and index finger.

That's the distance you're looking for.
A FACT: The distance between a fuck hole and a muck hole and if you miss yer inna shit 'n thassa FACT.
by flatster December 28, 2005
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sarbanes oxley (SOx)

1) An industry created from nothing that creates nothing.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.
SOX dweeb: Do have everything under control?
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!

/bang

SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.
by flatster October 24, 2006
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carpet kaleidoscope

The puddle of vomit on the floor. Typically indoors hence the "carpet" prefix.

Show's evidence of one's last meal and therefore consists of many colours. Hence, "kaleidoscope".

Strangely, all spew consists of carrot's and tomato skins regardless of what one has eaten.
"I feel sick..."
"Don't you being doing no carpet kaleidoscope in my house!"
***barf***"
"eeeuuuwww duuuuude!"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
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auditor

The 21st century Gestapo. Will love you long time whilst going through your work to make sure everything is on the up-and-up but then will stab you in the back with an electrified letter-opener.

Scum of the office-world. The little prick who can hide behind company policy and get a hard-on when they find the dot above your "i" was 2 microns bigger than your company would like it to be
Auditor: "So pleased to be working with you! Could I see your ledger please?"

Worker: "No, fuck off you back stabbing, pedantic shit-stirrer. Come near me and I'll strangle you with your shoe laces".
by flatster December 16, 2008
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bollocks on a bulldog

Something that stands out and is very visible. The bulldog's testiclar region is extremely prominant and hence the reference.
Bloke 1: "Fuck me sideways! She's had a tit job!"
Bloke 2: "Like bollocks on a bulldog mate!"
by flatster November 12, 2005
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happy slappy

Criminal acts, often caught on mobile video phone's and passed around to other children to witness. Often these are scenes of bullying, rape, and, in some cases murder.
Newspaper headline: "Happy slappy incident: gang of 19, average age 12, gang rape girl, 13".
by Flatster November 26, 2005
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jelly jewelry

The creation of jewelry consisting of semen.

Rings: during hand-shandy's
Necklace's: when she doesn't swallow
Bracelets: when she gives you a hand-shandy
She was tugging hard the other night and I shot me load, giving her some nice rings and plenty of other jelly jewelry as well...
by Flatster November 10, 2005
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