turf out

Excrete, empty one's bowels. The act of getting rid of last night's over-indulgence in curry and copious amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale. Dog's also turf out regularly, for no other reason other than to turf out in general... and pound for pound their's is bigger.
"You look relieved. Wassup?"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
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granularity

Breaking down a process or system into smaller modules to make it more accessible/easier to comprehend.

On the other hand, it also mean over-complicating a simple process to the extent of being anal in the extreme.
Normal Bloke: Here you are Old Lady, let me help you across the road.

Old Lay: Thank you, young man!

Project manager: Now then Normal Bloke, we need more granularity here. Firstly, what road are you referring to? Next, is there any traffic on said road and if so, at what speed is it travelling? We also need to define the camber of the edges and the traction factor of the tarmac under the temperature of the day to ascertain the breaking distance of the road users in case of a Normal-Bloke-Old-Lady-slippage scenario. Next, we need...

Normal bloke: Fuck this, I'm off to Macdonalds.
by flatster December 12, 2008
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carpet kaleidoscope

The puddle of vomit on the floor. Typically indoors hence the "carpet" prefix.

Show's evidence of one's last meal and therefore consists of many colours. Hence, "kaleidoscope".

Strangely, all spew consists of carrot's and tomato skins regardless of what one has eaten.
"I feel sick..."
"Don't you being doing no carpet kaleidoscope in my house!"
***barf***"
"eeeuuuwww duuuuude!"
by Flatster October 28, 2005
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war face

Wide-eyed, adrenalin-filled psycho grimace on one's face as you charge in to battle/a fight/game of chicken. Exemplified by "Full Metal Jacket".
HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!

JOKER
Sir?

HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!
by Flatster May 11, 2006
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lorks

A very mild exclamation for use in polite company. The fuller version is "Lorks a lordy" if you have a need for a more vernacular expression.
"Lorks a Lordy! My bottom's on fire!"

***Courtesy of "The Young One's"***
by Flatster October 28, 2005
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happy slappy

Criminal acts, often caught on mobile video phone's and passed around to other children to witness. Often these are scenes of bullying, rape, and, in some cases murder.
Newspaper headline: "Happy slappy incident: gang of 19, average age 12, gang rape girl, 13".
by Flatster November 24, 2005
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sarbanes oxley (SOx)

1) An industry created from nothing that creates nothing.
2) Sarbanes Oxley is also a swear word.
3) Something to hide behind when you need introduce bureaucracy to the nth degree.
SOX dweeb: Do have everything under control?
Office bloke: Yes
SOX dweeb: Can I see the documentary evidence?
Office bloke: We don't keep hard copy
SOX dweeb (smugly): The you have failed your control and I must report you to the highest possible echelon within the organisation who will inform of your failure and sack you. Sarbanes Oxley (SOx) is the alpha and the omega.
Office bloke: So fucking what? DIE!

/bang

SOX dweeb dies in a pool of it's own blood. Much rejoicing ensues.
by flatster October 24, 2006
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