applesaue's definitions

Unibull

Not a type of bull, but the absolute BULLSHIT the universe force feeds me and I can't do anything about it.
Makes you genuinely want to "take matters into your own hands" sometimes.
Usually pre life-fucking bullshit as it is probably just a warning.
Also, I haven't been to a hospital.

John was having a good day, coming back from a party, but when he came home, he tripped and broke his nose. At the emergency room, he accidentally spanked someone trying to grab his phone and everyone looked at him in disgust. Coming home again, his wife saw the news about him spanking someone, somehow it got on the news, and his wife bitch-slapped him full power. He had to go to the emergency room again and is now titled a 2-time nurse spanker on the news after coming home. Coming inside the house, there was his son's skateboard placed perfectly to, firstly, launch it in his face and secondly, slip on it and get a concussion. Now he's a third time spanker and banned from the hospital, and the next closest one is an hour away. THIS is peak unibull.

by applesaue September 14, 2025

manumentumaphobia

The phobia of someone stepping on your hands when they're on the ground
Comes from latin for hands (Manus) and floor (pavimentum).
I have this, even though I just made it up.

Billy: Hey, bob, how ya doin today?
Bob: Terrible, because some idiot just stepped on my hands like a friggin'... I don't know, minecraft pressure plate, or something
Billy: Dang, but you gonna get over it, right?
Bob: Hell naw, I got, like, manumentumaphobia, or something.
Billy: The hell is manure mental phobia?
Bob: I made it up :/
Billy, in his head: He is definitely braindead.

by applesaue December 9, 2024

John Big Mouth

(Also known as "BM")
The friend you thought could keep a dreadful secret but as soon as he has an audience of at least 4 (including you) he spoils the secret and rolls it off like "It's a little joke, man, what's the big deal" when everyone is pointing and laughing at you and you genuinely want to JOACAD.

Dave: *Invites 15 friends over for a party*
John: Dave, I got something to tell you. I have a "the hub" channel.
Dave: dw your secret is safe :)
*3 hours later*
Dave: Guys, since we are watching tv, lets watch the best "hub" videos, made by our friend John!!!
John: SHUT THE FUCK UP JOHN BIG MOUTH

by applesaue September 20, 2025

Thumbass

When saying "dumbass" is too rude, saying idiot is too serious, and you feel like they would thumb themselves.
Basically an idiot who fingers himself with his thumb.
Could be a she, but used against is more powerful but less rude because it sounds silly.

Bob: guys, what the square root of 2 is 1, right???
Dave: no, thumbass, it's 1.41421356237 simplified heavily.
Bob: it's definitely rational though, right?
Dave: …
Bob: right???????!!!??!?
Dave: this is peak thumbassery...

OR

John: Bob, are you gay? I saw you eating a burger.
Bob: how are those even related, thumbass? Get your head straight and be straight, it's obvious that you are extremely gay for Dave.
John: no I'm not... *blushes very annoyingly)
Bob: SHAJOFUGINMOUTH

by applesaue September 16, 2025

antidisunagainsthomophobephobephobia

having a fear of the people against the people against the people against the people against the people afraid of the people afraid of homophobes

I tried to use antidisunagainsthomophobephobephobia in a sentence but I instantly lost track of what it even means :/

by applesaue October 7, 2025

JOACAD

Jump off a cliff and die.
Used when you just can't take something anymore (to yourself) or when you can't handle someone (to someone else)

All of John's rambling about how he "thought" I could lift 180 with one arm like him then acting surprised and disappointed after genuinely makes me want to JOACAD but he never gets the hint.

OR

I hope John JOACADs because I can't hear him ramble about him "genuinely, truthfully thinking" how strong I am.

by applesaue October 11, 2025