Definitions by William Stephens

Miss Cleo 

A fat Jamaican biotch who excels at poker, the lottery, and forecasting the weather.

"I thought Miss Cleo was the smartest person in the world, but then I remembered that not only was she fat but she was also black. If you can't read a book or eat sensibly, then you probably can't tell the future."

Miss Cleo by William Stephens May 22, 2006

paranoia 

A disease that afflicts me and made me think for 3 years of my life that my left leg was longer than my right leg. Every time my phone rings I think it is the FBI. And every time my doorbell rings I think it is a giant purple dinosaurs that eats children.

Person: "William, why are you in the fetal position under your bed?"
Me: "Paranoia."

paranoia by William Stephens May 22, 2006

trailer 

A form of house that people live in due to its lack of flammability.

Person: "Hey Bubba, is that your house burning down?"
Bubba: "Nope, my trailer is made of metal and we all know that metal is not flammable."

trailer by William Stephens May 22, 2006

nursing home 

A place where there are no toilets, becuase everyone craps in their pants. Also, one of the funniest places to set off a fire alarm.

Grandson: "Dad, what's that smell."
Father: "I think grandpa crapped in his pants again."
Grandson: "Let's send him to a nursing home."
Grandpa: "I'm old."

nursing home by William Stephens May 22, 2006

stairs 

Wheelchair kryptonite.

Person: "Hey, let's go down these stairs."
Wheelchair Person: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

stairs by William Stephens May 22, 2006

clown 

1. A scary man that makes me cry and occasionally shit my
pants.

2. Anyone who pops their collar.

3. An African American term for joking around.

1. Person 1: "Why is there shit in your pants?"
Person 2: "The clown in my closet scared the shit out
of me again.

2. Person 1: "Is his collar popped?"
Person 2: "Yes, it is. What a clown. A pathetic, gay
clown."

3. Leroy: "Don't be mad, I just be clownin'."

clown by William Stephens May 22, 2006

Myspace Tom 

A big computer nerd, who grew up with no friends. He created a network of people, in which he is automatically added as everyone's friend. This makes Tom think that he has actual friends (he doesn't) and he can now sleep and masturbate without crying.

Person 1: "Hey, I just joined MySpace and this Tom guy is apparently my friend. I don't know him and he doesn't look like the type of person that I would normally befriend."
Person 2: "Myspace Tom is a computer nerd and made it so the MySpace network automatically makes him your friend. I suggest that you immediately delete that pathetic loser from your friends."

Myspace Tom by William Stephens May 22, 2006