Definitions by The Real Canadian

Tomi Lahren 

Tomi Lahren is just another dumb blonde who has only gotten ahead in life because of her looks. She makes a complete and total fool of herself in public, saying stupid things that insult reasonable people. Tomi Lahren is proof that you don't need a brain to succeed on TV, just a pretty face, great legs and an empty head.

Every time he watches Tomi Lahren, my dirty old man for a grandpa gets a woody. If this keeps up, then I need to throw the TV set out.

Tomi Lahren by The Real Canadian February 27, 2017

Playboy Bunny 

A beautiful airhead with big boobs and small brains, this two-legged animal would screw anything (including a dirty old man who is old enough to be their great-great grandfather) to get to the top. Some would even take their clothes off to get any kind of attention from the public.

Bambi, my ex-girlfriend, has spent all of her inheritance from her rich uncle to get fake boobs. She has such low self-esteem that she looks like a Playboy Bunny just to get dates with rich old men.

Playboy Bunny by The Real Canadian September 7, 2016

Little Turd from Stratford

A pet name for a certain thinly talented and heavily tattooed pop superstar, Justin Bieber, who is responsible for the most overplayed and annoying song in history, Sorry. Bieber spent the first years of his life in Stratford, a small town located about two hours west of Toronto. To us, he is just another obnoxious pretty boy who needs a timeout for bad behavior.

The Little Turd from Stratford gets more airplay than everybody else. If that's the best that Canada could offer, then I'm moving to the States.

Little Turd from Stratford by The Real Canadian August 24, 2016

Veruca Salt

In the classic Roald Dahl kids' book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Veruca Salt is an obnoxious, spoiled rich brat. She seems sweet and innocent from the surface, but she yells, screams and gets aggressive when she doesn't get her way. Meets her messy end in the nut room, where she ends up down the garbage chute.

Veruca Salt is also the second Golden Ticket winner for a tour of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Veruca Salt is the epitome of spoiled rich brat.

This spoiled rich brat over there has pulled a Veruca Salt on us again.

If you keep this up, you'll share the garbage bin with Veruca Salt.

Veruca Salt by The Real Canadian August 23, 2016

Donald Trump 

The reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, this fat and ugly skirtchaser represents the worst of America. Bigoted, loudmouthed and clueless, he has somehow attracted the attention of hillbillies, religious nuts, grade school dropouts and the Klan. The smart Republicans want nothing to do with him.

Oh, God! Donald Trump has called the Second Amendment people to use Hillary Clinton as a target practice. He thinks that comment is funny, but it isn't.

Donald Trump by The Real Canadian August 10, 2016

Assholes R Us

A company or place that's populated by dumb, lazy, unethical, mean and just plain stupid people. It's so hopeless that bankruptcy, a nuclear holocaust or a plague is the only way to fix its problems.

That place should change its name from Company XYZ to Assholes R Us. Everyone there, from the CEO to the janitor, must have graduated from Trump University - that's how useless they are.

Assholes R Us by The Real Canadian August 2, 2016

Crappy Tire 

Don't take your car to this place. They will upsell repairs and services that you don't need - at inflated prices - using low grade parts that will wear out faster than you can say "rip off". Hires young, incompetent or dishonest grease monkeys who wreck your car inside out.

Crappy Tire told my old lady that she would have to pay $3,000 for repairs - and she only brought her car in for a stinking oil change. Scammers!

Crappy Tire by The Real Canadian September 20, 2015