Shuaman's definitions

Father Wristmas

Jerking off on Christmas Day

Where you bin, we're about to open the presents?

Got a gift from Father Wristmas!

Gross.

by Shuaman December 30, 2021

Squitti Politti

A bad case of the runs. British.

You going to the loo again?
Had a dodgy steak and kidney last night, I'm squitti politti today!

by Shuaman December 18, 2019

Blue Light Special

Overdosing so that the paramedics have to be called.

That blo was some uncut shit, yo, thought you was gonna pull a blue light special.

Right? Got any more.

by Shuaman July 31, 2019

Bed bomb

Saturating the bed with farts so that when someone pulls back the covers to get in they get a face full of stale farts.

I like to bed bomb a girl early in our relationship, a taste of things to come.

It's a wonder you're single.

by Shuaman June 23, 2019

coke casualty

Someone who has indulged in the white stuff a little too heavily over the years and it's beginning to show.

Your friend Trev is weird.

He's cool but a bit of a coke casualty.

Yeah, his speech is all screwed up.

by Shuaman November 4, 2016

Doggers

Short for 'dog breath,' an affectionate insult. British.

All right, doggers, wanna come to a party tonight?

by Shuaman October 22, 2018

double wide

A state of extreme sexual arousal in a woman. A variation of 'wide-on,' a female erection.

That guy from accounts receivable gives me a double wide.

Hear that, girlfriend, I've had to change my panties three times today already!

by Shuaman November 26, 2017