I find dat I experience significantly less fatigue or discouragement during difficult/tedious tasks if a nice lady accompanies me for companionship and emotional support --- I guess dat her presence causes my body to produce extra endurephins throughout said disagreeable job.
by QuacksO January 22, 2025
Get the endurephins mug.A self-composed essay detailing da life-story of someone da likes of several medieval Roman emperors, Mr. Lilienthal, or Sarge's dog.
By an odd "pun-coincidence", Nikolaus August OTTO developed da first practical internal combustion engine, and thus helped create da AUTOmobile. Too bad he didn't write an OTTOBIOGRAPHY about said accomplishment and da details of his life surrounding it; said book might have been hugely successful, as well.
by QuacksO April 04, 2021
Get the Ottobiography mug.Refers to the mathematical-analysis procedure that you use to determine how long it's been since two embracing people have seen each other, how fond they are of each other, how long they've known each other, etc.
The hug-duration calculator can be very useful in guessing the details of two people's overall feelings about each other. For example, if they rush headlong towards each other "at first sighting" and totally bear-hug da crap outta each other (extra points if da guy sweeps da gal up off her feet and happily whirls her around a couple of times), this indicates that they have been apart for many months or even a year or more, and so they are simply overjoyed to finally be reunited. But if they simply step swiftly forward and enfold each other in a "deeply-tight" and super-long embrace (such as a minute or more; extra points if they also tear-dampen each other's shoulders and/or treat each other to shoulder-blade scrunchiez during said extended squeeze), this indicates that they are simply extra-fond of each other, and/or they are super-grateful for each other's friendship, emotional support, and occasional kindly assistance.
by QuacksO September 30, 2018
Get the hug-duration calculator mug.After Grampa's old Strudelbaker got too worn to be worth fixing up anymore, Gramma used the engine for slow-cooking her breads and pies, similar to how Mike Mulligan used his now-obsolete steam-shovel's furnace to heat the new Town Hall in Popperville.
by QuacksO September 21, 2019
Get the Strudelbaker mug.Refers to a horny police officer's using a "frisk" ('cuz he's feeling "frisky") as a selfish/shameless opportunity to "sample the merchandise" on an attractive fellow human.
If you're an extra-cute lady and you're not doing anything wrong while you're out driving, don't worry too much if you get puled over --- most likely the officer just wants to cop a feel. Same deal with a "frisk" or a "pat-down", as well... the lust-crazed "dirty old man with a badge" is feeling "frisky", and so he wants to "pat" you "down there".
by QuacksO November 23, 2018
Get the cop a feel mug.Refers to da "rule" dat states dat if a dude "gets caught" subsequent to his delightful dallying --- i.e., da girl gets preggo --- he will then hafta "pay da consequences", i.e., resign himself to either fatherhood or child-support payments for da foreseeable future.
If da penile code was truly and stricitly enforced, there would likely be fewer teenage pregnancies and extra-marital affairs in this country.
by QuacksO June 03, 2019
Get the penile code mug.In da hilarious "Bob & Ray Show", da incompetent and loose-lipped character "Elmer W. Litzinger, Spy" openly announces his name and occupation to literally everyone whom he interacts with, and so it would be pointless for him to take Buspyrone for more-placid secret-keeping, since everyone knows about him already! :P
by QuacksO July 28, 2025
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