QuacksO's definitions

sargery

Grimly-humorous term for da often-painful process of "taking da West Point of of da kid" --- i.e., getting a discharged serviceman to revert to being "just a civilian" again.

Two of da major (pun not intended) things dat you hafta learn during da sargery process are dat (1) you don't hafta smartly salute and answer, "Yes, Sir/Ma'am!" whenever someone addresses you or asks you a question, and (2) you need to start saying, "3 P.M." instead of, "fifteen-hundred hours".

by QuacksO November 7, 2023

Coupwait

Da Middle-Eastern country dat delayed a major uprising by slant-drilling into one or more neighboring countries' oil-fields and thus artificially bolstering its economy.

Coupwait may indeed have "delayed da inevitable" by funneling in pilfered "black gold" from outside its borders, but da resulting invasion of said country by said foreign-territories' soldiers created infinitely more strife and destruction than could possibly have been prevented by said illegal acts.

by QuacksO May 25, 2022

mammary magnetism

An irresistibly-strong EMF-field produced by female breast-tissue, and which reacts with the iron in a man's blood and forcibly draws him towards said sumptuous chest-pillows. Just like a regular lodestone, "size matters" --- the greater the quantity (or should I say, "quantitty") of said "polar protoplasm", the stronger the magnetic pull it produces; this is why guys tend to be more attracted to gals with bigger boobs.

Buxom gal: I tried the old "tinfoil hat" strategy --- i.e., lining my bras/bikini-tops with aluminum food-wrap --- in the hopes that it would reduce my mammary magnetism, but I didn't really notice much difference... guys still keep staring at my boobs and trying to feel me up whenever they have a chance.

by QuacksO January 31, 2019

dyslexiea

Communication-confusion when in da company of anyone named Lexie.

Because he wasn't overly comfortable dealing with children, Alan Grant encountered a major bout of tongue-tied dyslexiea when he was obliged to share a seat in da Jurassic Park jeep with John Hammond's naively-beaming young granddaughter.

by QuacksO February 25, 2025

orifice-outflow overload

Refers to where all of your bodily-openings are all "venting" at once --- i.e., you're simultaneously sneezing, coughing/gagging, farting, etc. --- and so you are unable to adequately monitor them all at once to prevent messy "oopses". It's not unlike what happens when a piece of complex equipment suffers a major malfunction and causes alarms and indicator-lights to go off all over the place, and so you cannot possibly keep track of them all or deal with many multiple issues at once.

Anytime I feel a bout of orifice-outflow overload coming on, I simply shed all my lower garments and race to da nearest WC --- that way, I am safe from any "accidents" because any offending fluid/matter will just go down da toilet or into da sink, rather than soiling my clothes or anything else in my general vicinity. And so far I have yet to be cited for public indecency --- seems dat folks would prefer having to temporarily see me in my birthday-suit rather than mopping up copious quantities of puke/poop afterwards... they merely bring me my pants and briefs again from where I'd haphazardly flung them in my frenzied headlong dash for da crapper, so dat I can re-dress myself in privacy before emerging from the bathroom-stall again.

by QuacksO February 5, 2019

spepper pray

To request divine intervention in a potentially-dangerous situation, instead of relying on aerosol-based capsicum-fluid.

Since it's ridiculously easy to get charged with assault by someone whom you "mace the face" of (for example, the person can always deny that he had intended you any harm, even if you know that he very likely was planning to hurt you), it's a wise idea to just choose spepper pray in all but the most extreme of circumstances.

by QuacksO October 20, 2020

tootleadge

One or more lessons in the art of serenely walking/biking/motoring down the road.

Dat super-impatient sports-cah drivah wif da extra-loud hemi-motor who was tire-screechingly gunnin' it back and forth along the road in front of Marshall Dodge's aunt's house lookin' fer East Vasselboro sure coulda used some tootleadge!

by QuacksO June 5, 2019