Phil Mi Groin's definitions

Chad

A term that used to be derogatory, but now refers to Alpha males who are successful in the sexual marketplace. Incels don't like chads because they are jealous of their successes and are genetically predisposed to failure.

Random guy: Look at that guy over there chatting up them fit birds, what a Chad

by Phil Mi Groin December 6, 2018

MattN

A MattN is someone who used to be a complete nerd with a promising future ahead of himself, who used to achieve high marks in class tests and end of year exams, but fast forward a few years and he has become a complete self Dragger who is set to fail his GCSE exams, and who is a complete alcoholic. Notable actions performed by MattyNs include flipping soy boys over their shoulders into desks, punching degenerates who assault them, being a GAF beast and most of all being an absolute ChadPreet who gets a ton of birds. Low T Incels (who get rejected by the same girl over 8 times lol) are jealous of the successes of MattNs on the bird market, so they disrespect them and then cry when they are slapped in the face like the genetic dead ends that they are. Whilst they may no longer be hard studying nerds, MattNs certainly greatly increase their popularity, and transform themselves from loosers into players. Some 'small men' may say that MattNs have no respect for anyone, but just remember that these people failed in their lives and had to peruse easier careers whilst their peers got the jobs that they weren't good enough to achieve.

Random guy 1: Why does he have to be so much better than me at everything? Why have I been denied by the same girl eight times with no step closer? Why am I a complete Incel? Why does he get so many girls and I get none? Why is he such a ChadPreet and I am a failure?
Random guy 2: Shut up you complete soy boy! Stop complaining about the sucesses of MattNs and do something other than complaining.

by Phil Mi Groin December 6, 2018

AJones

Not the Infowars dude. Ajoneses are obese nobs who walk around disrespecting and purposely shoulder barging those in the years above, which is a sign of their severe lack of respect. AJoneses are complete Betas but they pretend to be hard, but in reality they have no friends and exist for the sole purpose of being massive pricks. If the parents of AJonses could see what their children would grow up to be, they would go and buy a pack of extra thick condoms right away in order to prevent the births of such degenerates into the world.

Random guy 1: What the hell? That human chode just barged into me
Random guy 2: Yes, he is such an AJones, everyone hates him. I have never seen him with a friend; he just loiters around the corridors and assaults people
Random guy 1: What a prick!

by Phil Mi Groin December 7, 2018

Ducky

A skinny kid who likes to taunt his victims by shoving them and then running away. A Ducky is a fast runner with stamina so when you get out of breath he comes back and shoves you again, but when/if caught he is easily defeated because of his skeleton like build. If caught by a teacher at school a Ducky will simply say it was a game of tag and can weasel out of any punishment. Duckys also likes taking the mick out of people with strange shaped heads. A Ducky is also a player and can pull fit birds with ease, therefore Ducky is an absolute legend and a great guy as long as you stay on his good side.

J: Damn, that skinny guy keeps shoving me and running
Harry: He just said that my head looks like a teste!

Will: Yeah, but look over there, his bird is fit
J: Classic example of a Ducky!

by Phil Mi Groin June 28, 2018

lance corporal

A code name for a homosexual. The term was inspired by the 1986 film Heartbreak Ridge in which gunny Highway calls lance corporal Fragetti a Faggeti- a play on the term 'faggot' which is an offensive term for a homosexual. The term is generally used in a low profile conversation in a public place in which the speakers wouldn't want those around them to know what they are referring to. The term can also be used as an insult, and the recipient more than likely won't know the meaning of it so therefore can't deny or confirm whether or not they are indeed a lance corporal which gives the user an advantage.

Jerry: Hey Pete, look over there, I think that guys a lance corporal
Pete: Oh yes, he's a lance alright! crop top, short shorts, bent wrist and a trolley full of Vaseline!

by Phil Mi Groin May 1, 2019

small man syndrome

When someone works their whole life to get a career, but fails whilst their peers succeed, and then ends up in a dead end job, usually contracts what is known as small man syndrome, which is where the complete failure takes out all of their aggression on those around them, who weren't responsible for their failures. The only one whose fault it is is the small man himself. For example, small men often like to try and act hard and smart by insulting people who they have authority over, even when they know nothing about them, and simply get information from a network of micro small men working under them. As soon as they are away from the small man they laugh at how pathetic he is and what a colossal failure he became. Small man syndrome in non-communicable, so don't worry about catching it (unless you area a failure). However, it is incredibly difficult to cure, and most of the time it is taken to the grave. Small men often like to get jobs in the police, security and teaching professions because it allows them to exercise authority on those beneath them without getting any backlash.

Small man: And you, thinking that you are going to farm your whole life, is an idiot! I have worked on 5 farms and they all went bust! And you, from what I have gathered, is just a complete fool who likes to get laughed at! And you have no respect for anyone!
(Small man tells them to leave)
Guy 1: Geez, what a nob
Guy 2: I know, what a Small man!
Guy 3: He clearly contracted small man syndrome after failing in his career!

by Phil Mi Groin December 7, 2018

Latcher

An Outsider, usually a new kid at school who will follow the popular friend groups around without actually being one of them. The Friend group actually hate the Latcher and the best thing they can do is to tell him to go away and never latch on again. The Latcher usually comes from a background where they have been ignored by parents, peers and everyone else in society. Therefore they cling onto anyone they can find, rather like a parasite or a leech. It would be fair to call a Latcher a leech.

Cool Kid: Come on lads, let's play some footie!
Barnett (example of a Latcher) follows them without being invited
Woke cool kid: Oi what are you doing you Latcher? Go back to the toilet where the rest of you pond scum reside.

by Phil Mi Groin May 27, 2018