OD Smith's definitions

takeshi kitano

Quite simply one of the best directors in the world right now, as well as being the epitome of cool in his acting persona, "Beat" Takeshi (taken from his stint in stand-up double act, The Two Beats) in most of his own films, as well as the likes of Battle Royale, Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, Gonin and (oops) Johnny Mnemonic.

Best known for his Yakuza films (such as Sonatine and Brother), as well as Hana-bi and the truly fantastic Zatoichi - both of which winning the Venice Film Festival in 1997 and 2003 respectively.

Also known for presenting Takeshi's Castle - which makes as much sense as Francis Ford Coppola's Saturday Night Takeaway if you think about it. Not to be confused with the qually brilliant and prolific (if borderline deranged) Takashi Miike.

Zatoichi
Sonatine
Brother
Hana-bi

by OD Smith March 21, 2005

Liberteenies

People who have been taken in by the hype surrounding Pete Doherty and every non-band he occasionally bothers to make uninspiring music with, when not busy making a twat out of himself at great length.

Liberteenies: The acolytes at the cult of Pete Doherty.
Liberteenies: The only people who don't point out that Pete Doherty doesn't even have the balls to overdose like a real rockstar.

by OD Smith June 4, 2007

queer duck

A cartoon NOBODY has ever seen (the fact it hasn't even got five votes on the IMDb proves this), but everyone knows of it because it was on that 100 Greatest Cartoons thing - instead of Invader Zim or Ghost in the Shell.

"Has anyone seen Queer Duck?!?"

by OD Smith March 21, 2005

England Header Rule

A rarely exercised rule in football where it doesn't matter if a player is committing common assault on the goalkeeper (which is known in the rulebook as a "foul"), the headed goal is legitimate because an England player scored from it - because, as we all know, England deserve to win every match they'r ein because they'r ebetter than everyone. Any referee that doesn't know this is obviously a complete idiot that cannot do his job properly, and therefore deserving of death threats.

Sol Campbell vs Argentina, 1998.
Sol Campbell vs Portugal, 2004.

by OD Smith March 22, 2005

Lee, Amy

1.) Frontwoman of fifteen-minutes goth act Evanescence, currently trawling around near-obscurity.

2.) A porn star. No, it isn't the same one - CALM DOWN, GOTH!!!

1.) You do remember Bring Me To Life, don't you? It was only two years ago...

2.) "Ohh big boy, I want to choke on your cock..." (or something similar, anyway).

by OD Smith March 30, 2005

Twunt

A word devisted by Planet Sound head honcho John Earls, in a 2/10 review for Boy Kill Boy.

Methinks the word "twunt" is the only way you can get close to calling members of BKB a twat and a cunt without being fired...

by OD Smith December 7, 2009

French military victories

When the French win in battle - which they have done, only Americans won't believe it because they're pissy and moronic, in equal measure.

A list of notable French military victories:
Battle of Allia (387 BC)
Battle of Gergovia (52 BC)
Battle of Soissons (486)
Battle of Tolbaic (496)
Battle of Vouille (507)
Battle of Tours (732)
Battle of Pavia (773)
Battle for Paris (885-6)
Battle of Val-es-Dunes (1047)
Battle of Hastings (1066)
Battle of Dorylaeum (1097)
Battle of Ascalon (1099)
Battle of Montgisard (1177)
Battle of Bouvines (1214)
Battle of Morlaix (1342)
Battle of Ardres (1351)
Battle of Cocherel (1364)
Battle of Montiel (1369)
Battle of La Rochelle (1372)
Battle of Chiset (1373)
Battle of Roosebeke (1382)
Battle of Bauge (1421)
Siege of Orleans (1428-9)
Battle of Jargeau (1429)
Battle of Beaugency (1429)
Battle of Patay (1429)
Siege of Compiegne (1429)
Battle of Gerbevoy (1435)
Battle of Formigny (1450)
Battle of Castillon (1453)
Battle of Agnadello (1509)
Battle of Marignano (1515)
Battle of Ceresole (1544)
Battle of Rocroi (1643)
Battle of Nordlingen (1645)
Battle of Lens (1648)
Battle of Dunes (1658)
Battle of Fleurus (1690)
Battle of Beachy Head (1690)
Battle of Landen (1693)
Battle of Denain (1712)
Battle of Fontenoy (1745)
Battle of Roucoux (1746)
Battle of Lauffeld (1747)
Battle of Hastenbeck (1757)
Battle of Carillon (1758)
Battle of Yorktown (1781)
Battle of the Chesapeake (1781)
Battle of Valmy (1792)
Battle of Fleurus (1794)
Battle of Lodi (1796)
Battle of Castiglione (1796)
Battle of the Bridge of Arcole (1796)
Battle of Diersheim (1797)
Battle of Rivoli (1797)
Battle of the Pyramids (1798)
Battle of Mount Tabor (1799)
Battle of Abukir (1799)
Second Battle of Zurich (1799)
Battle of Marengo (1800)
Battle of Hohenlinden (1800)
Battle of Austerlitz (1805)
Battle of Jena (1806)
Battle of Jena-Auerstedt (1806)
Battle of Friedland (1807)
Battle of Tudela (1808)
Battle of Ucles (1809)
Battle of Ciudad-Real (1809)
Battle of Eckmuhl (1809)
Battle of Wagram (1809)
Battle of Medellin (1809)
Battle of Ocana (1809)
Battle of Smolensk (1812)
Battle of Borodino (1812)
Battle of Dresden (1813)
Battle of Lutzen (1813)
Battle of Vauchamps (1814)
Battle of Ligny (1815)
Battle of Trocadero (1823)
Battle of Navarino (1827)
Invasion of Algeria (1830)
Battle of Balaclava (1854)
Battle of Malakoff (1855)
Battle of Solferino (1859)
Battle of Foochow (1884)
First Battle of the Marne (1914)
Togoland (1914)
Battle of Ypres (1914)
Battle of Verdun (1916)
Battle of Vimy Ridge (1917)
Second Battle of the Marne (1918)
Battle of Belleau Wood (1918)
Battle of Chateau-Thierry (1918)
Battle of Amiens (1918)
Battle of Maysalun (1922)
Battle of Koufra (1941)
Battle of Normandy (1944)
Operation Dragoon (1944)
Operation Desert Storm (1991)
Cote d'Ivoire (2003)

by OD Smith August 24, 2008