Nicholas D's definitions
A common rule in the game/sport known as beirut or beer pong (without paddles) which states that the shooter's elbow must remain behind an imaginary plane extending upwards from the end of the table at all times throughout the throwing motion.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
Frat boy #1: "Oh man I just saw the World Series of Beer Pong IV championship video and they don't even have an elbow rule. The guys that won, Smashing Time, were basically leaning all the way over the table and dropping the ball into the cup. This game is so easy without an elbow rule! I could make every shot!"
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
by Nicholas D February 13, 2009
Get the elbow rulemug. Mark: "So how did last night's badminton game go? Looks like you got a fat lip there."
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
Jim: "Yeah Steve owned me pretty badly. He whacks the old 'cock around pretty good. Once I totally set him up by lobbing it to him right in front of the net. He slammed it straight into my face and I had no time to react..."
(Jim's mom walks in)
"...and I ended up with his 'cock in my mouth!"
Jim's mom: "Well I never! Get out of this house this instant! I will tolerate none of that kind of behavior. You're not welcome home anymore!"
by Nicholas D June 27, 2008
Get the 'cockmug. A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.
First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
by Nicholas D July 27, 2009
Get the first postermug. Wall Street trader slang for:
1) To print a ticket, i.e. make a trade or seal the deal
2) To have sex with a woman - seal the deal
1) To print a ticket, i.e. make a trade or seal the deal
2) To have sex with a woman - seal the deal
(on the trading floor)
Karen Hooker (Merrill Lynch trader): "I'll sell you 1000 shares of Motel 6 stock for $50 apiece."
Chris Taylor (Bear Stearns trader): "Done! Print that!"
Karen: "I'll also sell you long positions on Google, Blackstone, and Merrill, and a short position on Bear Stearns."
Chris: "I'll take it all! Oh yeah! Money money money money!!!"
(later at Chris' home)
Chris' wife: "How was your day? Why are you home so late?"
Chris: "Well, there was this girl - Hooker, actually. You know, the old Motel 6 deal. I totally printed that shit! She gave it up for only 50 bucks! Then she got me in all these positions and I must have printed four or five more times! Damn I'm tired from all that action. I'm hitting the sack."
Chris' wife: ***SMACK!!!*** "Get out now! How could you do this to your loving wife and poor little children?"
Karen Hooker (Merrill Lynch trader): "I'll sell you 1000 shares of Motel 6 stock for $50 apiece."
Chris Taylor (Bear Stearns trader): "Done! Print that!"
Karen: "I'll also sell you long positions on Google, Blackstone, and Merrill, and a short position on Bear Stearns."
Chris: "I'll take it all! Oh yeah! Money money money money!!!"
(later at Chris' home)
Chris' wife: "How was your day? Why are you home so late?"
Chris: "Well, there was this girl - Hooker, actually. You know, the old Motel 6 deal. I totally printed that shit! She gave it up for only 50 bucks! Then she got me in all these positions and I must have printed four or five more times! Damn I'm tired from all that action. I'm hitting the sack."
Chris' wife: ***SMACK!!!*** "Get out now! How could you do this to your loving wife and poor little children?"
by Nicholas D July 23, 2007
Get the printmug. A figurative tax that's imposed on people who do a job that benefits society, or as the "Silicon Valley" cliche goes, "makes the world a better place." Because more people want to do meaningful jobs than worthless ones, the pay tends to be lower. The opposite is the douchebag bonus, where someone makes more money for doing a job that contributes zero or negative value to society.
Jimmy works as as a researcher who has made significant advances in cancer treatment, but he only makes $70k a year because of the better place tax. Meanwhile, Chazz the hedge fund manager gets a huge douchebag bonus and managed to rake in $10 million last year even though all he did was lose a bunch of rich people a bunch of money.
by Nicholas D July 25, 2015
Get the better place taxmug. The path of moral integrity; following the rules. People who follow the straight and narrow typically abstain from activities such as hustlin, pimpin, and some gangsta shit.
Mobb Deep: "What's up fool? What you been doing?"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
by Nicholas D October 31, 2009
Get the straight and narrowmug. Attempting to get the worst possible gas mileage. The opposite of hypermiling. Usually done to look like a rebel or to spite the system or environmentalist hippies.
Dave: "What up dogg. Let's head over to Mel's Tavern and throw back some Jager bombs."
Pat: "No can do, broski. I'm all out of cash. Had to fill up the Hummer 4 times this week at $4.50 a gallon."
Dave: "Whaaat? How can you go through that much gas? You don't even drive that much."
Pat: "Hypomiling, man, all the way. I loaded a half-ton of bricks into the trunk, added air shields for extra wind resistance, and of course a full-size fridge in the back that runs off gas. Not to mention accelerating and braking as fast as possible and revving the engine at every stoplight. I've gotten this baby down to 2 miles a gallon!"
Dave: "Um...yeah, that's great, but now you're broke."
Pat: "It's totally worth it! Yesterday I put together a poster of my gas receipts and odometer readings, then showed it to a bunch of people at Whole Foods. You should have seen the looks on their faces. Dirty hippies! I got them good! My carbon footprint is bigger than the Grand Canyon! Hahaha!!! Eat that, Al Gore! I am the greatest hypomiler alive!!! Mwhahahahaha!!!"
Dave: "Dude, you've really lost it this time."
Pat: "No can do, broski. I'm all out of cash. Had to fill up the Hummer 4 times this week at $4.50 a gallon."
Dave: "Whaaat? How can you go through that much gas? You don't even drive that much."
Pat: "Hypomiling, man, all the way. I loaded a half-ton of bricks into the trunk, added air shields for extra wind resistance, and of course a full-size fridge in the back that runs off gas. Not to mention accelerating and braking as fast as possible and revving the engine at every stoplight. I've gotten this baby down to 2 miles a gallon!"
Dave: "Um...yeah, that's great, but now you're broke."
Pat: "It's totally worth it! Yesterday I put together a poster of my gas receipts and odometer readings, then showed it to a bunch of people at Whole Foods. You should have seen the looks on their faces. Dirty hippies! I got them good! My carbon footprint is bigger than the Grand Canyon! Hahaha!!! Eat that, Al Gore! I am the greatest hypomiler alive!!! Mwhahahahaha!!!"
Dave: "Dude, you've really lost it this time."
by Nicholas D June 10, 2008
Get the hypomilingmug.