163 definitions by Nicholas D

The amount of greenhouse gases released by a person, group, or machine.
Al Gore may drive a hybrid and rant about global warming, but when you factor in the cooking grease burned to cook his food, his carbon footprint is pretty huge. The amount of weight that guy's packed on would put Sally Struthers to shame.
by Nicholas D June 16, 2008
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Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.

A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
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The rare feat of striking out five times in a baseball game. The term was coined on national TV during the 2008 college world series when Georgia player Matt Cerione accomplished this feat during his team's win over Stanford. Similar to the hat trick (3 strikeouts) and the golden sombrero (4).
Pete really pulled a cerione with the ladies last night at the party. When he got home his shirt was covered in spilled cosmos and his face was red from all the slaps.

Timmy's parents couldn't show their faces in public after their son racked up three ceriones and five golden sombreros over the little league season.
by Nicholas D June 22, 2008
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Code name for Cell Block Death Row, the most hardcore cell block in a maximum security prison. This is not a place for the weak - prison rapes and beatings are common. From Ice Cube's song "Check Yo Self." Based on a phonetic alphabet (for example, A = Alpha, B = Baker, C = Charlie, D = Denver, E = Echo, etc).
"They send ya to Charlie Baker Denver Row
Now they runnin' up in ya slow"
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
by Nicholas D March 13, 2009
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To reevaluate your actions after realizing that your current course of action is likely to lead you into a troublesome situation. From Ice Cube's song "Check Yo Self."
See also: check yo self before you wreck yo self
Phineas: "The derivative of the hyperbolic arctangent of x is one over the quantity one minus x squared. Booyah, who's the man!"
Isaac: "Whatever. Your math skills are mediocre at best. I bet you couldn't even prove the Pythagorean theorem with a compass and a straightedge."
Phineas: "I believe those are fighting words. Let's take this outside. I'm going to slap you silly with my pocket protector!"
Isaac: "I suggest you check yo self before you wreck yo self. I've got three of my chess club buddies backing me up and one of them takes taekwondo!"
by Nicholas D February 18, 2009
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A taunting phrase insinuating that a person has no choice but to accept an unfortunate fact. Similar to deal with it, suck it, or in your face. Usually used to add emphasis to an instance when one intends for the other person to get served.
Ryan: "Sup gangsta."
Steve: "Not too much, chief. Say, I have a little tidbit of news that might interest you."
Ryan: "What is it?"
Steve: "Well, last night, I banged your mom."
Ryan: "Oh yeah? Well my mom's a total slut, so eat that! She's such a slut that when someone yells 'hoedown' she jumps on the floor! Yeah, in your face!"
Steve: "Telling a jo mama joke about your own mom does not in any way redeem you, nor does it change the fact that I porked her. I believe you got served."
by Nicholas D December 22, 2011
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A common rule in the game/sport known as beirut or beer pong (without paddles) which states that the shooter's elbow must remain behind an imaginary plane extending upwards from the end of the table at all times throughout the throwing motion.

This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.

Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.

Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.

The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
Frat boy #1: "Oh man I just saw the World Series of Beer Pong IV championship video and they don't even have an elbow rule. The guys that won, Smashing Time, were basically leaning all the way over the table and dropping the ball into the cup. This game is so easy without an elbow rule! I could make every shot!"
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
by Nicholas D February 13, 2009
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