170 definitions by Nicholas D

A person, usually a heterosexual female, who pursues relationships or hookups with the founders of tech startups. Like a jersey chaser for nerds. This term was used in the "Bachmanity Insanity" episode of "Silicon Valley."
Clive: "Hey Otto, how's the organic sustainable single-origin artisanal small batch cold brew nitro coffee roasting gig going?"
Otto: "Not great, man. It turns out that our proprietary method of using only high altitude Jamaican Blue Mountain beans filtered through the digestive tract of a civet cat is pretty expensive. So we set our price at $10 a cup, which barely covers our costs, but it's been hard to compete with these low-end stores like Four Barrel and Ritual that sell coffee for only $7, and the peasants here in SF actually drink that swill instead of ours. We went out of business."
Clive: "Oh well, at least you have Matilda. She's your ride-or-die-bitch, right?"
Otto: "Um, not really. She ditched me for this douchebag who is Co-Founder and CEO of this stupid app called Pewply."
Clive: "You mean the app where you take a picture of your feces and it gives you dietary recommendations based on their machine learning big data algorithms? Dude, Pewply is awesome. It totally helped me better come to grips with my gluten allergy."
Otto: "Yeah I'm sensitive to gluten too. But I can't believe she left me for this chode just because of his piece of crap - no pun intended - startup!"
Clive: "Connect the dots, man. Before you, she hooked up with the founders of Markitable, Zenalytics, Flooberli, Sharepnp, and Majikly. She's a classic founder hounder!"
by Nicholas D May 31, 2016
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(adj) Pertaining to or characteristic of criminal behavior. Comes from jip, the acronym form of justice-involved person, the new official San Francisco PC term for a convicted felon.
Kid: "Hey dad, I'm heading off to Upgrayedd's house to shoot up hero- I mean study AP Physics. Laters on the menjay!"
Parent: "Ok, sport. I'm happy you found some nicer and more wholesome friends. Your old buddies Poindexter and Eugene always seemed like they were up to no good. Hanging out at the library all the time seemed super jippy. I know kids just go there to smoke drugs."
Kid: "Sure dad, I'll come back after we finish robbing the liq- uh...I mean cramming for that test."
Parent: "Go get 'em, chief."
by Nicholas D September 2, 2019
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Attempting to get the worst possible gas mileage. The opposite of hypermiling. Usually done to look like a rebel or to spite the system or environmentalist hippies.
Dave: "What up dogg. Let's head over to Mel's Tavern and throw back some Jager bombs."
Pat: "No can do, broski. I'm all out of cash. Had to fill up the Hummer 4 times this week at $4.50 a gallon."
Dave: "Whaaat? How can you go through that much gas? You don't even drive that much."
Pat: "Hypomiling, man, all the way. I loaded a half-ton of bricks into the trunk, added air shields for extra wind resistance, and of course a full-size fridge in the back that runs off gas. Not to mention accelerating and braking as fast as possible and revving the engine at every stoplight. I've gotten this baby down to 2 miles a gallon!"
Dave: "Um...yeah, that's great, but now you're broke."
Pat: "It's totally worth it! Yesterday I put together a poster of my gas receipts and odometer readings, then showed it to a bunch of people at Whole Foods. You should have seen the looks on their faces. Dirty hippies! I got them good! My carbon footprint is bigger than the Grand Canyon! Hahaha!!! Eat that, Al Gore! I am the greatest hypomiler alive!!! Mwhahahahaha!!!"
Dave: "Dude, you've really lost it this time."
by Nicholas D June 10, 2008
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A phrase coined by Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys which signifies that one is about to put on a show, i.e. a spectacular performance. Refers to the act of getting one's popcorn before watching a movie.
Note posted on Terrell Owens' locker, October 2007:

"Dear Reporters,

Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 (T.O.) about the other 81 (Randy Moss), I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.

Terrell Owens

P.S. Getcha Popcorn Ready"

Piano teacher: "Timmy, have you been practicing that Beethoven piece for the upcoming recital? This is your chance to show everyone how much your skills have improved over the past few months."
Timmy: "Hell yeah, I've been on that shit like white on rice. I'm fin' to blow all you bitches away. I'm gonna rock that shit better than Ludwig himself. Better getcha popcorn ready! King Kong ain't got shit on me!"
by Nicholas D January 14, 2009
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A hypothetical form of the game wiffle ball (also spelled whiffle ball) that involves players with skill. Used in insults. Similar effect as minton or goodminton in the game of badminton.
John: "Ok, throw it. This one's going to be right in my wheelhouse and it's heading straight over the fence."
(Bill pitches ball, John whiffs)
Bill: "That's strike three - sit your ass down!"
John: "Whatever man, you got lucky there. I'm going to crush it next time I get up."
Bill: "You know, this game used to be called hittle ball before you started playing."
by Nicholas D March 10, 2009
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Even though your mom only goes for three dollars a day, I still get sticker shock every time I chuck it in that whore.
by Nicholas D June 14, 2006
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A term describing a very unattractive, usually overweight skank. The person in question usually bears resemblance in size or appearance to a cetacean, ungulate, or similar animal, such as a hippo, orca, beluga, manatee, water buffalo, wildebeest, warthog, rhinoceros, or elephant.
"I necessarily didn't wanna bring home any sort of zoo creatures whatsoever. I mean these broads just probably smelled the food at the house." -Mike "The Situation" on "Jersey Shore"

I followed a smokin' hot girl back to her place from the club after pounding Jager bombs all night. By the morning though, she had magically transformed into some kind of enormous zoo creature. She looked so much like a wildebeest that I wasn't totally sure whether I was in her bedroom or the African savanna. I had no choice but to pull the old beat it and beat it move and be swayze before that disgusting swamp donkey awakened from her slumber.
by Nicholas D January 15, 2010
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