171 definitions by Nicholas D
Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
To shamelessly increase diversity, inclusion, and references to modern-day issues in a story to promote social justice. The opposite of whitewash.
Writer: “I’ve got a movie idea! Let’s do the moon landing, except all the astronauts are morbidly obese paraplegic non-binary Muslim Australian aboriginals!”
Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
by Nicholas D March 1, 2020
The greatest style of beer ever to grace the earth. Typically clocking in upwards of 8% ABV, this wine-strength beer is the motherlode of malty goodness, and is the preferred style of the highest echelon of cicerone s. There are two sub-styles, American and English, the former of which has more hop flavor and bitterness. As heavy hopping is appropriate in an IPA but destroys the pure heavenly flavor of this glorious beer style, a preference for American barleywine has been linked in scientific studies with brain damages, taste bud disorders, and early onset dementia. "Barleywine" is also generally considered to be a synonym of "life", thus giving rise to the common expression "Barleywine is life", or BiL for short.
Albert Einstein: "I just discovered the special theory of relativity, which Is the biggest breakthrough in theoretical physics in centuries. Also, I prefer American barleywine to English and hazy IPAs to barleywine in general."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."
by Nicholas D August 12, 2018
"Slow down baby / Let you know from the gate I don't go down lady"
- Fat Joe, "What's Luv"
Ted: "How long have you been living next to this gate?"
Will: "From the gate."
Ted: "So if I asked you where you were from, would you say you're from the gate?"
Will: "Hell yeah, I've been from the gate from the gate."
- Fat Joe, "What's Luv"
Ted: "How long have you been living next to this gate?"
Will: "From the gate."
Ted: "So if I asked you where you were from, would you say you're from the gate?"
Will: "Hell yeah, I've been from the gate from the gate."
by Nicholas D March 18, 2009
In 2007, Barry Bonds* hit his 756th* home run, passing Hank Aaron for the all time record*. He also holds the single season record* of 73* home runs. Previous single-season record-holders include Mark McGwire*, Roger Maris, and Babe Ruth.
Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."
Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."
by Nicholas D January 13, 2008
To reevaluate your actions after realizing that your current course of action is likely to lead you into a troublesome situation. From Ice Cube's song "Check Yo Self."
See also: check yo self before you wreck yo self
See also: check yo self before you wreck yo self
Phineas: "The derivative of the hyperbolic arctangent of x is one over the quantity one minus x squared. Booyah, who's the man!"
Isaac: "Whatever. Your math skills are mediocre at best. I bet you couldn't even prove the Pythagorean theorem with a compass and a straightedge."
Phineas: "I believe those are fighting words. Let's take this outside. I'm going to slap you silly with my pocket protector!"
Isaac: "I suggest you check yo self before you wreck yo self. I've got three of my chess club buddies backing me up and one of them takes taekwondo!"
Isaac: "Whatever. Your math skills are mediocre at best. I bet you couldn't even prove the Pythagorean theorem with a compass and a straightedge."
Phineas: "I believe those are fighting words. Let's take this outside. I'm going to slap you silly with my pocket protector!"
Isaac: "I suggest you check yo self before you wreck yo self. I've got three of my chess club buddies backing me up and one of them takes taekwondo!"
by Nicholas D February 18, 2009
A common rule in the game/sport known as beirut or beer pong (without paddles) which states that the shooter's elbow must remain behind an imaginary plane extending upwards from the end of the table at all times throughout the throwing motion.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
This rule is highly controversial, and there are fervent supporters on both the pro-elbow rule and anti-elbow rule sides of the debate.
Arguments in favor of an elbow rule include:
1) It eliminates the advantage that taller/longer-armed players might gain by leaning or extending their arms over the table.
2) It makes the game more challenging and slows the pace of games.
Arguments against an elbow rule include:
1) Elbow rule is almost impossible to enforce.
2) Watching your elbow position and arguing about it wastes time and detracts from the game.
3) Faster games are better when you're trying to finish a tournament or people are waiting to play on the table.
The World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP) in Las Vegas every year does not require use of the elbow rule. As a result, leaning over the table is the norm and teams that insist on following the elbow rule are at a disadvantage. No elbow rule-following team has ever made it anywhere close to the WSOBP finals in the four years the event has existed.
Frat boy #1: "Oh man I just saw the World Series of Beer Pong IV championship video and they don't even have an elbow rule. The guys that won, Smashing Time, were basically leaning all the way over the table and dropping the ball into the cup. This game is so easy without an elbow rule! I could make every shot!"
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
Frat boy #2: "Let me see..." (watches video) "Yeah those guys are a joke! If we went to the WSOBP we could win that shit easily! Let's post a comment this YouTube video."
Frat boy #1 posts comment: "Watch your fuckin elbows! You guys suck and we could beat you any day. We are Lambda house champs and we could make every shot if we leaned over the fuckin table. Leaning is gay!"
(Smashing Time sees comment and they arrange a cash game for $500 a team)
Frat boy #1: "Ok we'll let you guys lean as much as you want. We're not gay so we're going to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "All right, whatever."
(Smashing Time wins by 8 cups)
Frat boy #2: "Well it's pretty fuckin' easy if you lean way over like that. We're gonna play again for another $500 and lean this time. You guys are going down."
Smashing Time: "Ok, I'm sure you guys are gonna kill us this time."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups)
Frat boy #1: "All right. Let's play again for another $500 except this time we all have to keep our elbows behind the table."
Smashing Time: "Let's go."
(Smashing Time wins by 7 cups again)
Frat boy #2: "You guys are fuckin' cheaters, leaning and shit. We're out."
Smashing Time: "All right. Good games. Thanks for the $1500."
Frat boy #1: "Whatever man, let's go to next year's WSOBP and show those leaning bitches what's up."
(Frat boys go to WSOBP V and finish in 378th place with a 2-10 record, including losing to an all-girls team who is just there to promote a hangover-curing drink)
Frat boy #2: "Dude, who gives a shit. At least we're not leaning bitches. We showed them."
by Nicholas D February 13, 2009