Definitions by Mr Ben

NOMS 

Acronym for Not On My Shift. Used to pass the buck and shift blame for an incident that you are directly responsible for but do not want to admit. Care must be taken when using the word as management will think you are muttering under your breath.

"Mr Ben, did you see who attacked Mrs Webster with the fire extinguisher?"

"No, I didn't. NOMS."

NOMS by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

cashcow 

A product or item that is endlessly upgraded or improved and which users don't mind having to pay full price for the latest examples. A frequent occurance within video games.

EA Games have two cashcows - "The Sims" and the "FIFA" series of games. Neither of which I'd play if you paid me.

cashcow by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

mid-shaft gash

A small but iritating (and extremely painful) cut halfway along one's penis.

"I can't tonight, love. I've got a mid-shaft gash."

mid-shaft gash by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

clunker

Anything which is so worn-down and clapped out that failure is inevitable. May also be applied to movies in the same way that turkey is, denoting a movie of such awfulness that it defies belief.

"I hate to say but today's been a real fuckin' clunker, know what I mean?"

clunker by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

thwack 

A derogatory word, implying someone intentionally masturbating someone else. The word derives from the sound of a penis being slapped.

"Thawck!" - stated by Mr Ben upon seeing his sister go to her room with her boyfriend.

thwack by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

chavmobile

The only mode of transport for the chav of today, a chavmobile is a derogatory word for a home-converted vehicle of some description. Countless modifications may include huge subwoofers in the boot, a crude soft-top, spoilers from an F1 car, blue neon underneath the doors, spinning hub-caps, painted flames around the wheels or bonnet, a nitro-charged engine (homemade, of course) and multiple CD player. The trouble is, a chavmobile will usually be a fifteen year old Vauxhaul Nova or a Ford Fiesta that should have been scrapped after the accident.

Incidentally, why do chavs spend so much money doing up their chavmobiles when they could buy a decent car with it in the first place?

Readers of motoring magazine Max Power will be all too familiar with chavmobiles.

chavmobile by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

mister 

A title used informally to signify respect between two people but without actually meaning it.

"What time do you call this, Mister Ben?"

mister by Mr Ben February 7, 2005