Mr Ben's definitions

clunker

Anything which is so worn-down and clapped out that failure is inevitable. May also be applied to movies in the same way that turkey is, denoting a movie of such awfulness that it defies belief.

"I hate to say but today's been a real fuckin' clunker, know what I mean?"

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

mid-shaft gash

A small but iritating (and extremely painful) cut halfway along one's penis.

"I can't tonight, love. I've got a mid-shaft gash."

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

chavmobile

The only mode of transport for the chav of today, a chavmobile is a derogatory word for a home-converted vehicle of some description. Countless modifications may include huge subwoofers in the boot, a crude soft-top, spoilers from an F1 car, blue neon underneath the doors, spinning hub-caps, painted flames around the wheels or bonnet, a nitro-charged engine (homemade, of course) and multiple CD player. The trouble is, a chavmobile will usually be a fifteen year old Vauxhaul Nova or a Ford Fiesta that should have been scrapped after the accident.

Incidentally, why do chavs spend so much money doing up their chavmobiles when they could buy a decent car with it in the first place?

Readers of motoring magazine Max Power will be all too familiar with chavmobiles.

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

thwack

A derogatory word, implying someone intentionally masturbating someone else. The word derives from the sound of a penis being slapped.

"Thawck!" - stated by Mr Ben upon seeing his sister go to her room with her boyfriend.

by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

ickle

A tiny item or person but with a huge amount of cuteness and/or youth attached. Coined by ginger-haired freak Chris Evans during the Nineties.

Ickle may be used in the same way as mister, before the person's name.

"Can you tell me if Ickle Sally working today?"

by Mr Ben February 9, 2005

hippo

1. A large amphibious land animal, looking like a fat, gray, leathery horse. They have a huge mouth with missing teeth and a foul temper. Do not approach or feed.

2. A fat woman dressing up in clothes several sizes to small. Do not approach of feed.

1. "And now we see the hippo in their natural habitat..."

2. "God damn, that bitch is a right hippo!"

by Mr Ben February 9, 2005

Bloody Mary

1. A classic cocktail made from vodka, tomato juice, salt, pepper, a celery stick and other spices. I'm told that I make the best in London which is annoying because I don't like them. Waste of vodka if you ask me.

2. The name we give to my insane grandmother. She doesn't mind...

1. "A bit too spicy, Mr Ben. I admit, I'm a pussy but I need some ice please."

2. "Would you like a cup of tea, Bloody Mary?"
"Am I free? Of course I am, dear..."

by Mr Ben February 9, 2005