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Klaatu's Nikto's definitions

Pornhub

Where thirty-something men go to watch a thirteen-year-old boy's idea of what sex is like.
Guy 1; I watched some Hentai last night.
Guy 2; cartoon sex? that's for weirdoes. I watched Pornhub
Guy 1;...
by Klaatu's Nikto October 11, 2020
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Twitter

A social media platform for vain, bored adults suffering from arrested development who want to impress celebrities with their wit, or insult cthose they hate or they think have 'transgressed' in some manner. This is made more likely by a character limit which makes jokes and insults the easiest way to grab attention and followers, some of whom may be fake accounts.
Generally benign users may be caught up in a twitter storm, when vocal political activists lash out and project their social ineptitude on anyone they disagree with. Twitter has been used by many in creating online echo chambers, doxxing, dog-piling and bullying people out of employment. It also acts like a late-capitalist version of the Stasi.
Generally useful if you want to shout into the digital aether.
Johnny Fuckwit; Did you see what some ghastly apper said about a vacant bimbo on Twitter?
Quentin Pinkeye; No, i was having dinner with friends.
by Klaatu's Nikto December 5, 2017
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Eton Leap-frog

A physically exhaustive game where the frustrated young men of Britain's finest independent all-boys schools leap over each other's bare backsides, while taking care not to insert their dangling genitals. Many of these fine young men go on to join societies at Oxford and Cambridge, such as burn-a-fifty-quid- note-in-front-of-a-homeless-man society, or stick-your-todger-in-a-dead-pig club.
Monty Chumlington-Smythe; i say, isn't the debate on at the Young Conservatives tonight?

Tristram Farqhuar-pinklipz; I plan on taking some amyl nitrate then fatty Thompkins and I will Eton Leap-frog each other until Latin.
by Klaatu's Nikto December 6, 2017
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Pseudo-intellectual

A) synonym for Hipster

B) one who makes proclamations that to the lay-person may sound edgy, controversial, new, deep or thought-out, but to anyone with more detailed knowledge, will be instantly dismissed as a load of posturing bullshit.
One of their favoured fallacies when challenged on an absurdity is the courtier's reply - 'you just don't understand/aren't clever enough/aren't in the know'.

They lack social graces and wisdom, and are quick to jump on factual errors to make themselves feel better, as they pride intellectual prowess over good manners, kindness and humour which makes them tiresome company.
They do not believe in intellectual democracy for the betterment of others, but aristocracy to belittle others.

They will insist you read books, watch films and listen to music they've heard of but may not have read, seen or heard themselves, and enjoy dropping names of authors, directors, musicians and other artists that are avante-garde, cult or classical, even if they have no real exposure to their work, most likely having read about them in a paper, magazine or website aimed at the pretentious and po-faced. They are also vulnerable to being 'Sokal'd' in their desperation to look learned and superior.

Most tellingly, the pseudo-intellectual is prickly and insecure around those they might learn from, while a well-adjusted, moderately intelligent person is always keen to learn from those with greater insight and reading.
Pseud'; 'but of course, Ingmar Bergman's films are so camp'.
Sycophants; hahahaha!
Somebody who has seen a Bergman film; 'Utter shite! Name me one and describe how it is 'camp', or consider yourself a pseudo-intellectual'.
Pseud'; i don't have to explain my reasoning to you'.
by Klaatu's Nikto November 29, 2017
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Actionable

An adjective invented by gormless business managers who think they're in a cutting-edge field but are basic bitches on modetate income with brat children.

Also used by Walter Mitty types who think they're 'captains of industry' but are telesales gimps who spend their lives watching The Apprentice.
Sales Gimp: I'm really loving this idea just now. Let's push the envelope and make it even more actionable. We're on a journey. Oo-rah!
Human; Good grief... it's a toaster.
by Klaatu's Nikto January 27, 2019
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Reality TV

Cheap TV shows designed to get vapid, talentless dimwits to embarrass themselves for the pleasure of terminally-stupid, obese unemployed people. The producers who make these shows are expensively educated and nominally intelligent London, NY or LA-based professional drug addicts who never bother watching their own product because they know it's junk, but have become so cynical they're content in propelling their medium into oblivion.
How can one tolerate 'scripted ' Reality TV?
by Klaatu's Nikto December 6, 2017
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Netflix People

People who dont have much of a life or hobbies beyond sitting and watching tge mediocre offerings of Netflix or similar streaming service. They usually place great importance on having caught up with tge latest 'Box sets'.
These people can be from a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds but have certain things in common; they are generally liberal or whatever the celebrities think, don't own many books and usually start sentences with 'so'.

Also known as Epsilons .
Moron: 'Ive just rewatched Breaking Bad, Prison Break and catching up on Westworld and The Crown.'
Me: *closing book* 'ahh, you must be one of those Netflix People'.
by Klaatu's Nikto January 3, 2021
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