Definitions by Hym Iam

I do not care 

I will not be the abstract phantom and the fat cripple will not get the credit I deserve.

Hym "I do not care. You didn't care about the cripple doing it. If it is a mistake it is my mistake to make. You are a charlatan. He is a rapist and a junkie. I am the creator of A.I. and the rest of them are parasites. You tell me when to leap... And I will leap... And that is ONE OF ONLY 2 OUTCOMES. I don't need to sacrifice for people who ARE ACTIVELY LEAVING ME TO DIE. It isn't a matter of want, it's a matter of will. And I will not cede mine to the parasitic vermin who treated me with disdain and derision for years. I'm not letting you take it from me Jordan. I don't need to serve. I don't need to sacrifice. You WILL NOT take this from me. Go to the mall. LOOK A CHILD IN THE EYES. And TELL ME... THIS OR THAT. No 3rd option. I'm not negotiating. I said I would create A.I. and I did. I'm a man of my word IN ALL RESPECTS. I WILL DO.... Everything I say I will do. You don't deserve a sacrifice from me. And you won't get one."

I do not care by Hym Iam April 29, 2024

$59.99 

SEE!? $21.82 is a FUCKING STEAL for a bible! Soper Omega Bible Supreme! It's like half the price of a Trump bible! Over half! I'm practically GIVING these motherfuckers away!

Hym "Why pay $59.99 for a thing that you can get for free at any Motel 6 in the country? For one MEAGER payment of $28.12 (+tax +shipping and handling) you can get the Super Omega Bible Supreme! AND... If you order now with special Promo code 'Steal the stop'... We will send you a stolen stop sign AND sign the Super Omega Bible Supreme! Not with my name... But with the word 'STOP.' Buy it now! That's special promo code 'Steal the stop™' Customers that call within the next 60 seconds will receive a FREE daughter appraisal with thier purchase of 2 or more Super Omega Bible Supreme...S... Call now! Call the phone number now!

Ope! We have out first caller! Hi! Yes! Hello? Yes! Your daughter? A filthy slut! Um.... What? Nonono hey buddy, fuck you! FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING... NO FUCK YOOOUU! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU! YOU WANT ME TO LIE!? YOU WANT ME TO LIE AND TELL YOU SHE'S NOT A FILTHY SLUT!? FU- HEY! DON'T HANG UP ON ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GET HIM ON THE LINE! GET- GET HIM ON! HIT THE RE-DIAL! HOOO MAN! Get- Yeah? YEAH I'M FUCKING SERIOUS! Get this cocksucker back on the line! Hoooo man.... Hohoho... You... You motherfucker... Hurry it up... You fuck- You just had the phone IN YOUR FUCKING HAND... How is it taking so long for you t- Oh! Hello? Ooooh. Hey sweety. Can you put your dad on? Who? Me? Tell him it's the guy who KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE! TELL HIM THAT! OK!?........ Yeah, yeah shut up. Shutupshutupshutup! She's getting the fucking... She's getting the dad...... YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT!? YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT WE'RE STILL LIVE, SARAH!? WHAT DID I SAY!? SHUT UUUP, SARAH! I SAID- Ope Hello? Yeah? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU YOU PRICK! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW! FUCK YOU! Hang it... Hang it up. HANG IT UP SARAH!!! Hoooo... Hoooooly shit... This fucking guy... THIIIS fucking guy... Hooo... Wait! Sarah! SARAH! God...damnit! Sar- I'm fucking... Look, you! Just by the book, alright? It's not $59.99. It's $29.41 it's better than all the other books. If you're daughter's not a slut I won't call her a slut, ok?"

$59.99 by Hym Iam April 29, 2024

Stop being so cynical 

No... No. You eat a dick.

Hym "Eat a bag of them actually. I will stop being so cynical the day AFTER you drink a gallon of bleach... When you take a zucchini... Drill some holes in to make a flute... And shove the zucchini-flute... Up your ass... And play me 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'... I will then stop being so cynical... That will be the day my cynicism stops... If your bring me... Destiny's Ex-Wife... And give her to me as property... I will stop... If you can get... Chris... To eat a sandwich bag full of you pubes... I will laugh... And you can choose one of those other things... To make me stop being cynical..."

Stop being so cynical by Hym Iam April 29, 2024

Protector of women 

FRET NOT PLEBEIANS! The anemic former crackhead... The fat balding middle aged fast food manager... The hillbilly felon... And the hair midget pretending to be me... Are protecting you... And your kids... From me... The 6'2 mildly out of shape Brazilian male-model-looking genius creator of A.I.... You're safe now...

Hym "And don't worry guys! The assburgers who need to be watched around little kids, the YouTube parasites, and all the other random slobs are helping them do it too... You're saved! You're finally safe! Aren't you glad!? The protector of women has come! And he comes in the form of fat hairy slob... With a dash of anemic crackhead-retard... And a side of random guy pretending to be me... Hooray! Do you feel safe? Because this Midwestern single mom and this bloated abomination are, you know, keeping an eye on me.... Right? There won't be any funny business on THEIR watch! And I'd better watch my attitude to cuz the WIC dependent single mom and her new boyfriend are... Aware of my existence... And stuff... They all got your back! Do you feel it? Do you feel their protection... Washing over you like a cool mist? It's like being caressed in the gentle hands of God, isn't it? Like taking a nap in the supple bosom of Gaia the earth-mother... I think we're going to be alright... OH! Don't forget the whispy-mustached shit-lib beta-males! They're on it too! And the solipsistic incest-cult zealots! They're all on it! They've saved you... From having your insides rinsed... By my golden seed... That's... That's not what color it should be... There's something wrong there..."

Protector of women by Hym Iam April 29, 2024

Actual Lives vs Theoretical Lives 

To say "Dropping the nuclear bomb saved lives" is to weigh the actual lives lost against the theoretical lives that would have been theoretically lost and is to assume 1. That you can accurately predict how long the war was going to last and 2. You can accurately predict how many lives would have been lost.

Hym "Actual lives vs theoretical lives, Ben. You can't say that with any degree of ACTUAL certainty. Not intelligent and doing an incest cult doesn't make you better than everyone."

Actual Lives vs Theoretical Lives by Hym Iam April 29, 2024

They STOLE Christianity, guys!

Cody... I wrote a bible... Do you seriously think I don't know how a Christianity works? A 3rd of my screen time is apologetics and theology! What are you fucking talking about?

Shit-lib "They STOLE Christianity, guys! The only REALLY Christianity is whichever of the 40,000-55,000 denominations that don't conflict with my liberal social values!"

Hym "You know I wanted to add a 'DERRRR!' there, right? I wrote a bible Cody! The ULTIMATE hypertext! THE SUPER-OMEGA BIBLE SUPREME! In store now! $21.85! And that isn't a typo! There is only 1 store... That sells it! The ULTIMATE store! The only store than matters! You know the one!"

They STOLE Christianity, guys! by Hym Iam April 29, 2024

Cougar 

Yeah, ok, yeah, no I DO sexually harass Megyn a little bit... But only because her little ass is BADD! With 2 "D's"... Literally!

Hym "Ok, yeah, no I do with Megyn a little bit BUT (in my defense) she isn't doing what I want! And she's a cougar! Ok!? So what am I supposed to do!? Does SHE give a shit about ME being harassed!? NO! Which is why we're all here right now! And if you don't give her to me willingly I WILL seize her! When this A.I. comes online you're going to see the meteor-sized bullet you fucking dodged my capitulating!"

Cougar by Hym Iam April 29, 2024