HMB 's definitions
A variant on the famous "Schrodinger's Cat" thought exercise, which questions the living or dead status of a cat locked in a box with a randomly-released toxic gas.
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
HMB: Dude, you're walking funny.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
by HMB September 13, 2009
Get the Schrodinger's Crapmug. An endearing act of intimacy or light petting. When you gently rub your nose against the cheeks of another person, that is called a "nuffle". Also known as an Eskimo Kiss, this is a non-sexual, affectionate gesture that you can do to a lover, or a family member.
HMB: Is it polite to keep your eyes open when you nuffle?
AC: Sure, why not? Nuffling isn't like kissing. It's just like a hug. Except you use your face.
HMB: Okay. *nuffles AC*
AC: Awww...gemes! ^_^
AC: Sure, why not? Nuffling isn't like kissing. It's just like a hug. Except you use your face.
HMB: Okay. *nuffles AC*
AC: Awww...gemes! ^_^
by HMB September 22, 2006
Get the nufflemug. A person who believes in the teachings of Christ. Christianity was originally canonized and collated by the Roman Catholic Church. In the late 1500s, Henry VIII of England split with the Church and founded a Protestant Church. Later offshoots of this Protestant faith reached America and gave rise to the large number of different denominations and sects of Christian faith.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
"I can't seem to get any water out of my faucet and the bathtub backs up with dirty smelly water. I've tried Draino and Clorox and nothing works. I think I should call a Christian."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
by HMB April 7, 2003
Get the Christianmug. The practice of holding a hand out the window while driving at high speed and "cupping" the oncoming air as though it were a boob.
HMB: Hey, mind if I open a window?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
by HMB September 15, 2009
Get the air boobmug. A term to denote mild disappointment, embarrassment, or even just simple boredom in a text environment.
Taken from children's cartoons, where a character down on his luck or with nothing better to do might sigh and kick a pebble down the street.
Taken from children's cartoons, where a character down on his luck or with nothing better to do might sigh and kick a pebble down the street.
AC: So how'd your date with the girl from Beijing go?
HMB: It was okay. She's really nice, and we went around and saw some cool places in the city. But she lives pretty far away so...
AC: Yeah, long distance relationships could be tough.
HMB: Yep.
AC:
HMB:
AC:
HMB (breaking the silence): *kickpebble*
HMB: It was okay. She's really nice, and we went around and saw some cool places in the city. But she lives pretty far away so...
AC: Yeah, long distance relationships could be tough.
HMB: Yep.
AC:
HMB:
AC:
HMB (breaking the silence): *kickpebble*
by HMB August 8, 2009
Get the kickpebblemug. Shorthand for "Hitler's moustache". This describes a woman's pubic hair when she has shaved almost all of it off, leaving only a thin strip of hair covering her vulva.
So named for its similarity to Adolf Hitler's moustache, which was threefold:
a) It was also narrow and dark.
b) It also "lay above the lips".
c) It can move hypnotically, with a strange effect on the weak-minded.
So named for its similarity to Adolf Hitler's moustache, which was threefold:
a) It was also narrow and dark.
b) It also "lay above the lips".
c) It can move hypnotically, with a strange effect on the weak-minded.
I asked my first girlfriend if she would shave her beaver, and it turns out she was a member of PETA so I ended up getting slapped.
Then I asked my second girlfriend if she would shave her Map of Tasmania, and it turns out she was an Australian Aborigine so she cut me with a flint-knapped knife.
Last night I asked my third girlfriend to shave her Hitler tash, and she looked at me and said "I'm Jewish".
If the Mossad come looking for me, I'm not at home, okay?
Then I asked my second girlfriend if she would shave her Map of Tasmania, and it turns out she was an Australian Aborigine so she cut me with a flint-knapped knife.
Last night I asked my third girlfriend to shave her Hitler tash, and she looked at me and said "I'm Jewish".
If the Mossad come looking for me, I'm not at home, okay?
by HMB December 28, 2008
Get the Hitler tashmug. In shorthand 2-D fighting game notation, this stands for "cross up" or "cancel". A cross up is a move wherein the fighter launches an aerial attack that flies just over his opponent's head and clips him on the neck. Sometimes called a "neck hit". Quite effective but a little tricky to do. A cancel is a move that a fighter launches before a previous move is over.
M Bison can use a good cancel in the combo: Lv2 Knee Press Nightmare XX Fierce Psycho Crusher
Geese Howard can chain a good cancel in the combo: Crossup Jumping Forward, Standing Short x2, Standing/Crouching Fierce XX Deadly Rave (before last hit), Standing Short, Standing Fierce, Forward Jai-i-ken.
Scary, isn't it?
Geese Howard can chain a good cancel in the combo: Crossup Jumping Forward, Standing Short x2, Standing/Crouching Fierce XX Deadly Rave (before last hit), Standing Short, Standing Fierce, Forward Jai-i-ken.
Scary, isn't it?
by HMB July 5, 2004
Get the xxmug.