51 definitions by HMB
Chinese slang for a handjob applied to a male, not necessarily by himself. Applies equally well to solo masturbation, or to masturbation by another.
Literally means "hit plane", although the lack of articles in Mandarin Chinese may cause some confusion.
Literally means "hit plane", although the lack of articles in Mandarin Chinese may cause some confusion.
1. "Neige xiaojie hen lihai o! Zuotian wanshang ta gei wo da guo liangci feiji, hai you gei wo koujiao. Zhende meixiangdao!"
Translation: "That singsong girl is amazing! Last night she jerked me off twice, and then gave me head. Unbelievable."
2. "Ben La Din hen lihai o! Wu nian qian, ta zhiyao da feiji liangci, jiu neng yinqi Meiguo-Afuhan dazhan. Zhende meixiangdao!"
Translation: "Osama bin Laden is terrible! Five years ago all he did was hit two planes, and that caused the U.S. war in Afghanistan. Unbelievable."
Translation: "That singsong girl is amazing! Last night she jerked me off twice, and then gave me head. Unbelievable."
2. "Ben La Din hen lihai o! Wu nian qian, ta zhiyao da feiji liangci, jiu neng yinqi Meiguo-Afuhan dazhan. Zhende meixiangdao!"
Translation: "Osama bin Laden is terrible! Five years ago all he did was hit two planes, and that caused the U.S. war in Afghanistan. Unbelievable."
by HMB September 15, 2006
1. The rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
All: Yale's MBA program postulates the "Churn Rate Paradigm" as:
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
by HMB February 11, 2004
(noun) Euphemism for a somewhat intimidating looking vagina, especially one with curved pedipalpical hook-shaped teeth and an Ozzy Osborne hairstyle. Not usually considered an aphrodisiac.
"I heard that the Governor of California only got his job because of his onscreen performance in giving the Predator's face a good licking."
by HMB November 24, 2003
Any given place where more than one badass can reliably be found. In modern times, this may mean a certain night club, a certain seedy bar, or even any given trailer park - depending on the inhabitants.
Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.
Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.
Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
"This San Francisco restaurant once served lunch to Bruce Lee, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Chuck Norris at the same sitting. For the brief duration of that lunch, decades ago, this restaurant was a badasserarium."
"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
by HMB May 2, 2010
1. The act of routinely coming up with ideas on the spot, especially when under pressure or with a high penalty for failure. This derives from the vaunted ability of journalists and reporters to generate news story ideas with unexpected or novel angles. This term is a logical progression from the phrase "to pull an idea out of my ass". Used as a positive term of praise, a "butt miner" is somebody who is very good at thinking of new ways to cover old stories, or of new stories that nobody else has thought of before.
2. This could also conceivably be a term for a sodomite (or possibly a proctologist) or anybody else who spends a fair amount of time in a butt. But I've never heard this term used that way.
2. This could also conceivably be a term for a sodomite (or possibly a proctologist) or anybody else who spends a fair amount of time in a butt. But I've never heard this term used that way.
1.
Reporter: "Hey, I have an idea. Instead of just covering Chinese New Year at the restaurants, why don't we cover the plight of the Chinese staff at the restaurants, who have to work the festival and who can't go home to their families in China?"
Editor: "That is a compelling idea with a human angle, and a novel way of covering a routine annual event. A sterling display of vintage butt mining. Good job!"
2.
Reporter: "I love Katie Couric. I really admire her bravery in having her own colonoscopy broadcast on TV."
Reporter: "Aye. That's a sterling display of vintage butt mining, no doubt."
Reporter: "Hey, I have an idea. Instead of just covering Chinese New Year at the restaurants, why don't we cover the plight of the Chinese staff at the restaurants, who have to work the festival and who can't go home to their families in China?"
Editor: "That is a compelling idea with a human angle, and a novel way of covering a routine annual event. A sterling display of vintage butt mining. Good job!"
2.
Reporter: "I love Katie Couric. I really admire her bravery in having her own colonoscopy broadcast on TV."
Reporter: "Aye. That's a sterling display of vintage butt mining, no doubt."
by HMB May 15, 2006
(Noun) The state or condition of being awesome. Defined in a bogus mathematical theorem as:
Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity
Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.
Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity
Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.
1. Lord Ossum of the Ossumites was an Ozymandian well known for his osimosity.
2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...
Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!
2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...
Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!
by HMB August 2, 2004
A handpalm is a scenario where a normally-competitive situation has become so unbalanced that one side dominates all of the others and exercises an overwhelming degree of control. It metaphorically refers to the dominant player holding all the rest of the players "in the palm of the hand", meaning it can crush them and end the contest at any point. At this point, any actual competition purely symbolic - the contest continues solely at the desire of the dominant player.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.
Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
Ex 1:
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."
HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"
HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."
Ex 2:
HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."
DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"
HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
by HMB February 6, 2010