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A variant on the famous "Schrodinger's Cat" thought exercise, which questions the living or dead status of a cat locked in a box with a randomly-released toxic gas.
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
HMB: Dude, you're walking funny.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
by HMB September 13, 2009
Get the Schrodinger's Crap mug.A person who believes in the teachings of Christ. Christianity was originally canonized and collated by the Roman Catholic Church. In the late 1500s, Henry VIII of England split with the Church and founded a Protestant Church. Later offshoots of this Protestant faith reached America and gave rise to the large number of different denominations and sects of Christian faith.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
"I can't seem to get any water out of my faucet and the bathtub backs up with dirty smelly water. I've tried Draino and Clorox and nothing works. I think I should call a Christian."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
by HMB April 7, 2003
Get the Christian mug.An endearing act of intimacy or light petting. When you gently rub your nose against the cheeks of another person, that is called a "nuffle". Also known as an Eskimo Kiss, this is a non-sexual, affectionate gesture that you can do to a lover, or a family member.
HMB: Is it polite to keep your eyes open when you nuffle?
AC: Sure, why not? Nuffling isn't like kissing. It's just like a hug. Except you use your face.
HMB: Okay. *nuffles AC*
AC: Awww...gemes! ^_^
AC: Sure, why not? Nuffling isn't like kissing. It's just like a hug. Except you use your face.
HMB: Okay. *nuffles AC*
AC: Awww...gemes! ^_^
by HMB September 22, 2006
Get the nuffle mug.The practice of holding a hand out the window while driving at high speed and "cupping" the oncoming air as though it were a boob.
HMB: Hey, mind if I open a window?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
by HMB September 15, 2009
Get the air boob mug.(noun) From Ancient Greek dramatic tradition, this usually comes after a great revelation (anagnorisis) has occurred, and consists of a reversal of fortunes. Thus, a king who rules wisely for fifty years, then discovers that he killed his father and married his mother without knowing it, is at that point in time a participant in a peripetaeia.
Film Critic 1: "I was relaxing with a few porn vids the other night and it turns out one of them was a gay porn tape that I'd shoplifted by mistake. Well, guess who was starring in that gay tape?"
Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."
Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."
Film Critic 2: "No way!"
Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."
Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."
Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."
Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."
Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."
Film Critic 2: "No way!"
Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."
Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."
Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."
by HMB November 20, 2003
Get the peripetaeia mug.An Indonesian (and probably Malay, too) word. This describes the behavior of women when they see a cute baby. It also describes the baby itself. Translated into English, it means roughly:
"The state of going out of one's mind in adoration of something that is extremely likeable or cute."
A woman under the influence of Gemes will hug and fondle the baby for very long periods of time, oblivious to all other disractions. (Including but not limited to: a boyfriend's inquiries, the train leaving the station, or the arrival of winter.)
Oftentimes, the bout of Gemes can be so severe that the baby will start crying, which only serves to intensify the attention paid to it in a vicious cycle of female hormonal reactions.
"The state of going out of one's mind in adoration of something that is extremely likeable or cute."
A woman under the influence of Gemes will hug and fondle the baby for very long periods of time, oblivious to all other disractions. (Including but not limited to: a boyfriend's inquiries, the train leaving the station, or the arrival of winter.)
Oftentimes, the bout of Gemes can be so severe that the baby will start crying, which only serves to intensify the attention paid to it in a vicious cycle of female hormonal reactions.
A group of Indonesian women: Aw! Look at the baby! GEMES!
A group of Indonesian boyfriends: WTF.
Used as an adjective: The baby was very gemes.
Used as a verb: The baby was gemesed.
Used as a verb: The women became gemesed over a single baby, who was itself gemes.
A group of Indonesian boyfriends: WTF.
Used as an adjective: The baby was very gemes.
Used as a verb: The baby was gemesed.
Used as a verb: The women became gemesed over a single baby, who was itself gemes.
by HMB August 13, 2004
Get the gemes mug.1. The act of routinely coming up with ideas on the spot, especially when under pressure or with a high penalty for failure. This derives from the vaunted ability of journalists and reporters to generate news story ideas with unexpected or novel angles. This term is a logical progression from the phrase "to pull an idea out of my ass". Used as a positive term of praise, a "butt miner" is somebody who is very good at thinking of new ways to cover old stories, or of new stories that nobody else has thought of before.
2. This could also conceivably be a term for a sodomite (or possibly a proctologist) or anybody else who spends a fair amount of time in a butt. But I've never heard this term used that way.
2. This could also conceivably be a term for a sodomite (or possibly a proctologist) or anybody else who spends a fair amount of time in a butt. But I've never heard this term used that way.
1.
Reporter: "Hey, I have an idea. Instead of just covering Chinese New Year at the restaurants, why don't we cover the plight of the Chinese staff at the restaurants, who have to work the festival and who can't go home to their families in China?"
Editor: "That is a compelling idea with a human angle, and a novel way of covering a routine annual event. A sterling display of vintage butt mining. Good job!"
2.
Reporter: "I love Katie Couric. I really admire her bravery in having her own colonoscopy broadcast on TV."
Reporter: "Aye. That's a sterling display of vintage butt mining, no doubt."
Reporter: "Hey, I have an idea. Instead of just covering Chinese New Year at the restaurants, why don't we cover the plight of the Chinese staff at the restaurants, who have to work the festival and who can't go home to their families in China?"
Editor: "That is a compelling idea with a human angle, and a novel way of covering a routine annual event. A sterling display of vintage butt mining. Good job!"
2.
Reporter: "I love Katie Couric. I really admire her bravery in having her own colonoscopy broadcast on TV."
Reporter: "Aye. That's a sterling display of vintage butt mining, no doubt."
by HMB May 22, 2006
Get the butt mining mug.