Skip to main content

HMB's definitions

satiscraptory

(Adj.) Something that is pretty bad but which will suffice because nothing better can be found.
1. When you're on your lunchbreak in downtown Washington D.C., McDonald's is a perfectly satiscraptory place to eat.

2. I am living in an area where the cable company has a monopoly. Prices are high, and the service is only barely satiscraptory. I have to leave Missouri.

3. I don't have much love for the AK-47 assault rifle, but until I have saved up enough money to buy a TIE Advanced starfighter with quadmounted lasers and deflection shield system, it will be satiscraptory.
by HMB August 13, 2004
mugGet the satiscraptorymug.

strapadictomy

A medical procedure in which a person puts on a rubber cock. Frequently done before instances of lesbian sex.
"I underwent a strapadictomy with my lesbian lover, Minjita."
by HMB July 26, 2003
mugGet the strapadictomymug.

shotgun

1. A category of smoothbore firearm that fires pellets (shot) or slugs. Comes in break-action or pump-action variants. Known to cause fits of unpredictable joy in HMBs.

2. A method of defecation whereby the buttocks are spread prior to discharge.

3. An esoteric form of bukkake. Upon reaching the vinegar strokes, the shotgun initiator must hold his scrotum in one hand and his shaft in the other, and pump between each ejaculation. This is derived from the manner of operating a pump-action shotgun, although the ammunition in question is completely different.

4. Any wedding whereby the groom is extremely morose and the bride is extremely pregnant.

5. A type of corridor-style house where the front door and back door line up and are usually directly connected by a single, straight hallway.
1. The TIE Pilot HuManBing was lying in wait, with his shotgun sight trained on a hill.
His recent work freelancing had tired him of late, so he took some time off for a kill.
Away on a hilltop, cavorting around, effete and effeminate prey,
Were multiple Yoshi, inchoate and dozy, about whom the TIE Pilot said:

"Blood! Blood! Glorious blood! Nothing quite like it to make one feel good!
So slide-shuck your shotgun, assuming you've got one,
And then we'll go pot some for glorious blood!"

(This can be sung to the tune of "The Hippopotamus" if so desired.)

2. Last night, I ate so much curry and then took a shotgun dump, and now my toilet is full of crapnel that won't flush away.

3. "It is inadvisable for neophyte bukkakist to attempt shotgun without presence of trained professional medical team. Please also to ensure that said team is well equipped with defibrillators, Viagra, and large cotton sock in case of emergency." *demure titter, covers face with fan* ~ Speech given at the entrance of the Sapporo Tourist Baths by the geisha guide.

4. Girlfriend: Guess what, Brad!
Boyfriend: You're going to put a stud in your tongue and use ice cubes next time?
Girlfriend: No - I'm pregnant! :D
Boyfriend: SHIT.
Girlfriend: We're going to have a baby! :D
Boyfriend: FUCK.
Girlfriend: There's going to be the pitter-patter of little feet in the house! :D
Boyfriend: ARSE.
Girlfriend: What type of marriage would you like? White or peach?
Boyfriend: SCROTE.
Girlfriend: Ohmygosh I'm going to have to call all my girlfriends so they can come over to coo and fawn solicitously in a sickening display of female hormonal Pavlovian response! :D
Boyfriend: TIT.
Girlfriend: What's the matter, dear? I sense a divergence of our emotive dispositions at this juncture.
Boyfriend: I'M NOT MARRYING ANYBODY. GODDAMIT I'M ONLY 23.
Girlfriend: Well, my Daddy's a federal marshal. We *could* make it a Magnum funeral, if you prefer.
Boyfriend: ...
Girlfriend: (singing, unhelpfully) Goin' to the cha-pel an' we're - gonna get ma-a-a-ried...

5. Agent Powell, here are your mission objectives:
A) Ride SHOTGUN with the Ret. Gen. to the Crawford rural area.
B) Approach SHOTGUN ranch through front door.
C) Force entry using rifled slug ammunition in SHOTGUN to remove the locking mechanism.
D) De-elect the resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
E) Locate and de-elect the vice-resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
F) After which, lower trousers and apply generous SHOTGUN to the face.
G) Spray Lysol in the air. It is the polite thing to do.
by HMB December 17, 2004
mugGet the shotgunmug.

Meno

Did you go meno on their ass? Whip out the Karen wig?
by HMB July 9, 2021
mugGet the Menomug.

knock one out

1. To masturbate to orgasm (usually suffixed by "over" something or somebody). This is usually but not exclusively used to describe male masturbation.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
1. "Did you see that .jpeg of Madonna with the thong and pickled egg? I was on my way to work but when I saw that in my inbox I was waylaid by the need to rest awhile and knock one out."
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
by HMB April 6, 2003
mugGet the knock one outmug.

prouds

In text-only conversations, such as email, IM, or status updates, this word means "looks proud" or "looks smug".

It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
Conversation 1 (straight usage):

HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*

Conversation 2 (ironic usage):

HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
by HMB December 21, 2009
mugGet the proudsmug.

sexemption

The practice of letting somebody in your social group get away with something normally punishable, solely by virtue of their gender.

Men in a bar will often give a woman a sexemption from paying for drinks.

Women at a homecooked dinner will often give a male diner a free pass from having to do the dishes.
There's a female poster on this games forum who keeps doing things that nobody would put up with in a guy poster. But I guess most of the other posters are dudes, and they don't want to scare her off, so she gets sexemption for now.
by HMB April 30, 2009
mugGet the sexemptionmug.

Share this definition