1. An adjudicating person or body that is spuriously invoked in order to win an argument or discussion, especially where no such body actually exists.
2. An air of supreme knowledgeability and pretentiosity, projected by a person who will speak at length and with great opinion, on topics of which he or she actually has only a passing grasp at best.
2. An air of supreme knowledgeability and pretentiosity, projected by a person who will speak at length and with great opinion, on topics of which he or she actually has only a passing grasp at best.
(In this example, both HMB and DrB are using fauxthoritative arguments, and both are displaying fauxthority.)
HMB: Sylvia Saint's finest asset is her bottom.
DrB: You lie. It's her breasts.
HMB: Surely not. For breasts, q.v. Brianna Banks, Asia Carrera, et al. Theirs are much larger.
DrB: Your argument hinges on the theory that quantity is preferable to quality. In defence of the alternative view, Sylvia Saint is entirely natural, as can be deduced when viewing her in the reclining attitude.
HMB: Be that as it may, her breasts are much smaller, at most 0.94 British Standard Handfuls. By comparison, Asia Carrera weighs in at a hefty 2.09 BSH.
DrB: Yes, but is it not spoken in the Book of Erogenis that "Reckon thee the food in thy bowl the same as thou wouldst reckon the tits on thy concubines: that any more than a mouthful will be wasted?"
(Discussion continues as both speakers get to indulge their vanities in this verbal equivalent of public masturbation.)
HMB: Sylvia Saint's finest asset is her bottom.
DrB: You lie. It's her breasts.
HMB: Surely not. For breasts, q.v. Brianna Banks, Asia Carrera, et al. Theirs are much larger.
DrB: Your argument hinges on the theory that quantity is preferable to quality. In defence of the alternative view, Sylvia Saint is entirely natural, as can be deduced when viewing her in the reclining attitude.
HMB: Be that as it may, her breasts are much smaller, at most 0.94 British Standard Handfuls. By comparison, Asia Carrera weighs in at a hefty 2.09 BSH.
DrB: Yes, but is it not spoken in the Book of Erogenis that "Reckon thee the food in thy bowl the same as thou wouldst reckon the tits on thy concubines: that any more than a mouthful will be wasted?"
(Discussion continues as both speakers get to indulge their vanities in this verbal equivalent of public masturbation.)
by HMB August 20, 2006
A sense of non-existent authority. Typically, an overzealous security guard that believes he/she has some sort of legal authority because he/she is a 'security guard' when in reality, security guards have 0 legal authority or law enforcement duty since they are NOT peace officers.
Security guard: "Hey what are you doing?"
Person: "Taking some photos."
Security Guard: "Do you have an ID on you?"
Person: "Are you a police officer?"
Security Guard: "No but I am a security guard."
Person: "AKA fauxthority and you have no legal authority and no reason to ask to see my ID"
Security Guard: "But I'm a security guard."
Person: "Um sorry no I'm not giving you my ID. Bye. Go beat the power pole off."
Person: "Taking some photos."
Security Guard: "Do you have an ID on you?"
Person: "Are you a police officer?"
Security Guard: "No but I am a security guard."
Person: "AKA fauxthority and you have no legal authority and no reason to ask to see my ID"
Security Guard: "But I'm a security guard."
Person: "Um sorry no I'm not giving you my ID. Bye. Go beat the power pole off."
by starhackt January 15, 2010
Someone, usually a celebrity or politician, who has a story to tell, but isn't smart enough to tell it without the help of a collaborator or ghost writer. Often, a fauxthor neglects to thank his/her collaborator on the acknowledgment page of the very book the collaborator wrote, and that makes him/her an asshat.
For example, Hillary Clinton, so-called 'author' of the bestseller "It Takes A Village," took all the glory that came with the success of that book, but she didn't acknowledge her ghostwriter Barbara Feinman in its pages at all. That makes Clinton a fauxthor (and, by extension, an asshat).
by Pimp My Wry June 25, 2009
by Angriest Mouse of Schnaasberg April 15, 2022