The shittiest day of the year for me. People say that I'm beautiful all the time but how can I be so beautiful and single at the same time? Do people just say that I'm pretty to make me feel better about myself? I've been single my whole life (elementary school relationships don't count). This is a day where single girls like me feel ugly for not having a boyfriend. It's a day of mourning my loneliness and the death of my cousin. I'm making it my tradition to go up to my room and cry on this day because of how horrible I feel.
Valentine's Day fucking sucks. My cousin died on that day in 2016 and many others in 2018. I'm making it a tradition to cry in my room alone every year that I'm single. Fuck Valentine's Day! Cupid is an inaccurate bastard! Cupid can suck my non-existent dick.
by Failurebitch February 01, 2019
Get the Valentine's Daymug. A crocodile that swallowed a clock, and makes a tick-tock sound. Captain Hook is afraid of said crocodile.
(tick tocking noise)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
Get the Tick Tock Crocodilemug. Everyone who has critical thinking skills (including normal vegans who leave people alone) hates her. She's known for being a hypocrite and abusing/neglecting her poor dog who's clearly depressed because she feeds her dog kibble that's devoid of protein, so the dog is slowly dying. That Vegan Teacher tries to shove veganism down everyone's throats. She should be banned from all social media platforms so she can leave everyone alone.
by Failurebitch February 21, 2025
Get the That Vegan Teachermug. 
Someone who's so fucking miserable from seeing child-free people enjoying having clean homes, stuff that isn't broken, and being able to travel that they insist that child-free people have kids just so the people who don't want kids can be miserable too.
Common things a breeder will say to a child-free person:
"You're being selfish"
"You'll change your mind"
"You're immature"
"You won't know true love until you have a baby"
"Motherhood/fatherhood is so rewarding"
"You're wasting your life"
"You'll regret not having a baby"
"You're lazy"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"You're gonna die alone"
Common things a breeder will say to a child-free person:
"You're being selfish"
"You'll change your mind"
"You're immature"
"You won't know true love until you have a baby"
"Motherhood/fatherhood is so rewarding"
"You're wasting your life"
"You'll regret not having a baby"
"You're lazy"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"You're gonna die alone"
Every child-free person will encounter a breeder sooner or later. Whether it be a family member, friend, romantic partner, or even your doctor (OBGYNs are NOTORIOUS for trying to get their patients to have babies since they make a lot money off of pregnant patients and less from patients who want to be sterilized!). Remind the breeders that your life choices have no impact on your life, and that they're an asshole for being so rude to you.
by Failurebitch July 14, 2025
Get the Breedermug. A form of bathing.
Why someone might take a shower:
1. They're visibly dirty
2. Decontamination after exposure to hazardous substances (chemicals🧪, IV chemo drugs💉, radiation ☢️, and biohazards☣️)
3. Temperature regulation (warming up if cold, or cooling down if hot)
4. They've been participating in outdoor activities (yard work or sports)
5. Calming down if stressed
6. Drowning out the sounds of crying if sad
7. Masturbate
8. Fuck
Things people do after a shower:
1. Dry off
2. Get dressed or put on pajamas depending on what time of day it is
3. Get ready for work
4. Go to bed
5. Fuck some more
6. Apply topical medications (ointments, creams, lotions, sprays, gels, foams, liniments, oils, transdermal patches)
7. Eat something
8. Put on makeup
9. Use a hairdryer
10. Shave
11. Brush teeth
12. Brush hair
Why someone might take a shower:
1. They're visibly dirty
2. Decontamination after exposure to hazardous substances (chemicals🧪, IV chemo drugs💉, radiation ☢️, and biohazards☣️)
3. Temperature regulation (warming up if cold, or cooling down if hot)
4. They've been participating in outdoor activities (yard work or sports)
5. Calming down if stressed
6. Drowning out the sounds of crying if sad
7. Masturbate
8. Fuck
Things people do after a shower:
1. Dry off
2. Get dressed or put on pajamas depending on what time of day it is
3. Get ready for work
4. Go to bed
5. Fuck some more
6. Apply topical medications (ointments, creams, lotions, sprays, gels, foams, liniments, oils, transdermal patches)
7. Eat something
8. Put on makeup
9. Use a hairdryer
10. Shave
11. Brush teeth
12. Brush hair
by Failurebitch July 11, 2023
Get the Showermug. A woman that's so skinny that she doesn't have an ass. Men say that when they hit it from behind, her ass feels like wood.
by Failurebitch February 21, 2025
Get the Bicycle bitchmug.