Charitable Disguise's definitions
Words and phrases specifically manufactured/defined in order to mislead careless, irresponsible and deceptive journalists/writers.
{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
1. 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform S.A.W.' is an example of a ballistic prose characterization for a ridiculously large wave. There is no such thing as a S.A.W.
2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"
3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"
3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
by Charitable Disguise January 3, 2020
Get the Ballistic Prose mug.Irreparable damage to human skin/cellular DNA caused during the era of radical climate change beginning in 1991.
{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
1. Many of our neighbors were recently diagnosed with skin cancer as a consequence of the "Dermal Incineration Event."
2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
by Charitable Disguise December 21, 2019
Get the Dermal Incineration Event mug.An abnormally massive wave.
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
1. In 2019, a Seismic Aqueous Waveform was detected about 100 miles west of the California/Oregon coastline.
2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."
3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."
3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
by Charitable Disguise December 19, 2019
Get the Seismic Aqueous Waveform mug.A profound and controversial characterization of the female genitalia, where "Ditch" represents the angular, contoured bordering meat of the labia, and "Squid" depicts the amorphous, unidentifiable, moistened nonsense in between. Sometimes used as the final closing/mic drop term in adolescent "funny names for genitalia" competitions.
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
Get the Squid In A Ditch mug.An uncommon, aberrant atmospheric condition wherein multiple opposing jet streams violently converge to form colossal, hydronautic vapor columns as a result of haphazardly fluctuating climatic temperatures, intense friction and a microcosmic, atomization of subterfuged kinetic energy. In especially unique and volatile environmental circumstances, extreme barometric density builds and induces a tourbillion-like vacuuming effect, whereby coagulating particles accumulate into a voluminous mass, temporarily opening a 'quantum' realm where cosmic physical properties emanate translucent, paralytic neuromuscular macro-waves.
1 {Curious Observer A} - "Dude, look at that incredible cloud formation over the Superstition mountains!" {Curious Observer B} - "Dude, thats a freaking 'Quantum Nimbus!'"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
by Charitable Disguise December 5, 2019
Get the Quantum Nimbus mug.A long lasting, iron hardened (stiff) penile erection (element), fortuitously triggered from aural/audio stimuli.
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
1. Chuck has been using his Stiff Element to exhibit superior carnal endurance, while at the same time wielding it as a weaponized instrument of aural dominance.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
by Charitable Disguise February 2, 2020
Get the Stiff Element mug.A hazardous, geologic event wherein a hyper-accelerating flow of highly concentrated, sulfur infused volcanic magma builds, cools and intermittently cracks, avulsing into jaggedly uniform, mobilzed 'slabs' of densely toxic rock formations. In rare and unique environmental conditions, migratory slabs have been observed to spontaneously combust into abounding flames upon impact with proximate flora, fauna and curious homosapien onlookers, resulting in a enveloping expulsion of sulfuric cinder chards and respiratory impairing, noxious fumes.
1. "Did you see how the lava formed into 'Pyro-noxious Slabs' when it came down the side of of the volcano, cooling in rhythmic waves as it hit the ocean water's edge?"
2. "I still can't believe that Drew was instantaneously incinerated into a sulfuric plume of ash when that 'Pyro-noxious Slab' chased after him while he was trying to take pictures!"
2. "I still can't believe that Drew was instantaneously incinerated into a sulfuric plume of ash when that 'Pyro-noxious Slab' chased after him while he was trying to take pictures!"
by Charitable Disguise December 3, 2019
Get the Pyro-noxious Slabs mug.