Ballistic Prose

Words and phrases specifically manufactured/defined in order to mislead careless, irresponsible and deceptive journalists/writers.

{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
1. 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform S.A.W.' is an example of a ballistic prose characterization for a ridiculously large wave. There is no such thing as a S.A.W.

2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"

3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
by Charitable Disguise January 03, 2020
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Stiff Element

A long lasting, iron hardened (stiff) penile erection (element), fortuitously triggered from aural/audio stimuli.

{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
1. Chuck has been using his Stiff Element to exhibit superior carnal endurance, while at the same time wielding it as a weaponized instrument of aural dominance.

2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
by Charitable Disguise February 02, 2020
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Days

A gentelmenly, over enthusiastic vocalized expression of supreme delight, exhilaration and triumph when greeting and welcoming a close friend or loved one. Adapted from post cold war pop culture references to blissful, timeless rhythmic engagement in Easter European Dance Halls, the term "Days" personifies the intensity and joy of the moment in the presence of partners (i.e.friends or loved ones). Sometimes spoken with an indistinguishable European accent. In cases of suprise greetings, 'Days' is used in conjunction with the word 'Hey', as in "Hey Days!"
{Friend enters room} "Days!"
{Friend enters room, surprising and overwhelming you with joy} "Hey Days!!!"
by Charitable Disguise October 13, 2019
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Night

A covert, stealthily disguised term of endearment used to fervently intimate the attractiveness of a female, often emphasized with reckless, pre-pubescent enthusiasm. In cases of extreme glamour and beauty, occasionally pronounced with a heightened focus on sustaining vocal droning and amplitude on the letter "I".
She's a "Night!"
Night!
OMG dude, she is a frickin Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
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Polarity Oscillation Orbit

The hyper-accelerating movement of Earth's magnetic north pole due to the increased presence of densely concentrated methane in the atmosphere.

{Since the early 1800's, scientists have tracked the ongoing movement of the magnetic north pole. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit (P.O.O.) was coincidentally discovered by a globally recognized audio engineer, Sir Laramie Todd and his visionary studio lab research colleague, Duke Robert Rite of Dungville. In the early 1990s, Sir Laramie recorded a new orbital sound waveform stemming from low frequency feedback captured in a Duke Rite bass guitar track. Sir Laramie took the clip from the Duke, triangulated the distinct properties related to the frequency, velocity and peaks of the Duke's clip and recognized that feedback patterns were spontaneously and abruptly profound during the Duke's output, specifically after ingesting a Filibertos burrito and flagilating convulsively in the direction of the speaker. Through his unique study, Sir Laramie proved the effects of methane gas on microphone magnetic fields. The Duke hypothesized that too much methane, when interacting with iron, causes polar instability on a grand scale. Thus, P.O.O. was born with the rationale that human overpopulation and the extensive quantity of excrement, causes the north pole to oscillate in a predictable pattern, with velocity and speed influenced by the proportionate concentration of methane in the atmosphere.
1. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit is expected to extend into Siberia by 2040.
2. Humans are creating P.O.O. because of their poo.
3. Dude, lets dial in the bottom end of the bass recording today. Go get some Filibertos and prep yourself.
by Charitable Disguise December 23, 2019
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Piratician

The original etymological root word for the modernized term = Politician.

The profession and practice of willingly engaging in relationships, behaviors, affairs and deceitful tactics for the purpose of self promotion/gain/sexual gratification through profiteering, theft, criminal enterprising and the cloaked instantiation of illicit/fraudulent activities without regard for harm, impairment and/or disability inflicted upon others.

{Background and Context}
Upon return from a research expedition in the aboriginal territory of Korkycow Australia, Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen delivered a lexicon postulate based on revelations from ancient scrolls and audio-phonic linguistic interpretations stemming from his interactions with the Hunterbiden Microcock Pygmalion Tribe. Dr. Culvitude was attempting to decode a scroll illustrating a smiling, garment rich man holding the heart of another person standing nearby, when a bitter feisty, belly scourged Pygmy pointed at the picture, clearly anunciating the word "Pirat-ician" with a heavy oriental accent. Dr. Culvitude phoned his partner Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of this revelation wherein it would serve as proof of Culvitudes conjecture on the transcontinental, English modernization and pronunciation of "Politician" which actually evolved from the Latin word "Pirata" combined with "ician", or "Piratician".
"Dr. Damone, the Pygmy chief clearly said the word "Piratician" when trying to tell me about how a once friendly tribe deceived them, took their food reserves, fingered our Matriarchs and returned with an affect of innocence as if nary an expression of remorse."
by Charitable Disguise May 02, 2020
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Saliza

1. Originally adapted from the Armenian mis-pronunciation of the English word 'slice', 'Saliza' \s-uh-lies-uh\ is exclaimed with a sense of enthusiasm, urgency, frustration, confusion and disgust by a foreign order taker attempting to impersonate an authentic Italian pizzaiolo at any Rays Pizza restaurant in the United States. Sometimes articulated with deliberate extended emphasis on the consonant 'z' (i.e. Salizzzzza) as an indication of impatience when patrons are indecisive or quick to change their minds from their initial order.

2. A term used to ask a friend or a loved one if they want to hang out or grab a bite to eat. Often conveyed with intentional Armenian personified accent in a lower octave to incite the onset playful conversational/text banter.
1. {Patron walks up to counter at Rays Pizza to place an order} "I'd like a slice of pizza please." {Armenian impersonator replies} "What kind of 'Saliza'? {Patron responds} "Actually, two slices of cheese please." {Armenian impersonator, visibly frazzled with a vile and disconcerting affect, confirms and relays order} " You want a two 'Salizzzas? Hey, he want a two cheese 'Salizzzzzas.!" "Your numba 91(the same number given to every patron, is also the year the Armenia declared independence from the Soviet Union)

2. {Friend sends text to another friend} "Hey Days, you wanna "Saliza" on Saturday." {Friend replies} "Hey Days, would love to 'Salizzzzza!"
by Charitable Disguise October 26, 2019
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