24 definitions by Charitable Disguise
A covert, stealthily disguised term of endearment used to fervently intimate the attractiveness of a female, often emphasized with reckless, pre-pubescent enthusiasm. In cases of extreme glamour and beauty, occasionally pronounced with a heightened focus on sustaining vocal droning and amplitude on the letter "I".
by Charitable Disguise October 12, 2019
A long lasting, iron hardened (stiff) penile erection (element), fortuitously triggered from aural/audio stimuli.
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
1. Chuck has been using his Stiff Element to exhibit superior carnal endurance, while at the same time wielding it as a weaponized instrument of aural dominance.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
by Charitable Disguise February 2, 2020
1. Originally adapted from the Armenian mis-pronunciation of the English word 'slice', 'Saliza' \s-uh-lies-uh\ is exclaimed with a sense of enthusiasm, urgency, frustration, confusion and disgust by a foreign order taker attempting to impersonate an authentic Italian pizzaiolo at any Rays Pizza restaurant in the United States. Sometimes articulated with deliberate extended emphasis on the consonant 'z' (i.e. Salizzzzza) as an indication of impatience when patrons are indecisive or quick to change their minds from their initial order.
2. A term used to ask a friend or a loved one if they want to hang out or grab a bite to eat. Often conveyed with intentional Armenian personified accent in a lower octave to incite the onset playful conversational/text banter.
2. A term used to ask a friend or a loved one if they want to hang out or grab a bite to eat. Often conveyed with intentional Armenian personified accent in a lower octave to incite the onset playful conversational/text banter.
1. {Patron walks up to counter at Rays Pizza to place an order} "I'd like a slice of pizza please." {Armenian impersonator replies} "What kind of 'Saliza'? {Patron responds} "Actually, two slices of cheese please." {Armenian impersonator, visibly frazzled with a vile and disconcerting affect, confirms and relays order} " You want a two 'Salizzzas? Hey, he want a two cheese 'Salizzzzzas.!" "Your numba 91(the same number given to every patron, is also the year the Armenia declared independence from the Soviet Union)
2. {Friend sends text to another friend} "Hey Days, you wanna "Saliza" on Saturday." {Friend replies} "Hey Days, would love to 'Salizzzzza!"
2. {Friend sends text to another friend} "Hey Days, you wanna "Saliza" on Saturday." {Friend replies} "Hey Days, would love to 'Salizzzzza!"
by Charitable Disguise October 26, 2019
Originally observed during an urgent, unplanned wardrobe transition from business attire to comfortable clothes at the onset of band practice, the term, 'Black Sock', evolved symbolically from a stereotypical garment donning of conformity (working for 'the man') to a statement of transformation, rebellion, commitment, fun, freedom and an unrelenting promulgation of ingenious collaboration with band mates. Sometimes chanted in the form of familiar choral revelries so as to induce and incite a frolic oriented 'BLACK SOCK' dance as an acknowledgement of symbiotic creativity among band mates.
Scenario Form and Description
Band member shows up to practice in business attire, quickly changes into shorts and a shirt, realizes he does not have extra socks, embarrassingly saunters into the arena with his guitar + comfortable clothes wearing his black business socks. Band mates, quick to observe and curtail said identity kerfuffle caused by the leftover business garments, initiate a chant:
"D Dog, Yes!!!
BLACK SOCK left,
BLACK SOCK right,
BLACK SOCK mutha fu**** gonna dance all night"
At the induced choral behest of his band mates, D Dog drops his instrument and proceeds to entertain his comrades with an accompanying Court Jester tempo oriented kick swap dance as a method of activating band member creativity.
Band member shows up to practice in business attire, quickly changes into shorts and a shirt, realizes he does not have extra socks, embarrassingly saunters into the arena with his guitar + comfortable clothes wearing his black business socks. Band mates, quick to observe and curtail said identity kerfuffle caused by the leftover business garments, initiate a chant:
"D Dog, Yes!!!
BLACK SOCK left,
BLACK SOCK right,
BLACK SOCK mutha fu**** gonna dance all night"
At the induced choral behest of his band mates, D Dog drops his instrument and proceeds to entertain his comrades with an accompanying Court Jester tempo oriented kick swap dance as a method of activating band member creativity.
by Charitable Disguise November 9, 2019
An uncommon, aberrant atmospheric condition wherein multiple opposing jet streams violently converge to form colossal, hydronautic vapor columns as a result of haphazardly fluctuating climatic temperatures, intense friction and a microcosmic, atomization of subterfuged kinetic energy. In especially unique and volatile environmental circumstances, extreme barometric density builds and induces a tourbillion-like vacuuming effect, whereby coagulating particles accumulate into a voluminous mass, temporarily opening a 'quantum' realm where cosmic physical properties emanate translucent, paralytic neuromuscular macro-waves.
1 {Curious Observer A} - "Dude, look at that incredible cloud formation over the Superstition mountains!" {Curious Observer B} - "Dude, thats a freaking 'Quantum Nimbus!'"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
by Charitable Disguise December 6, 2019
An abnormally massive wave.
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
{On November 26, 2019 off the coast of Oregon (United States), 11 different satellite instruments designed to measure wave height, wave length and the direction of ocean swell systems, relayed real time and pattern delayed SAR and altimeter data providing conclusive evidence of the first ever observation of a Seismic Aqueous Waveform (S.A.W.). In the early 1800's, Sir James Clark Ross and British Naval Officer Count Fluervo of Korkyville presented an original postulate for Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.) suggesting that chaotic and abnormal deep sea land masses (what we now refer to as tectonic plates) were capable of colliding and dispersing an exponential quantity of kinetic energy resulting in oceanic swells up to 1950 feet high (conditions unknown at the time proximate to the mathematical equivalent/scale estimated during the Paleozoic Pangea fracturing events, circa 350 million years BC). The magnitude, span, volume and force of a S.A.W. is much greater than a Tsunami, hence a S.A.W. is also commonly referred to as a 'Supernami.'}
1. In 2019, a Seismic Aqueous Waveform was detected about 100 miles west of the California/Oregon coastline.
2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."
3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
2. {Water cooler discussion begins} "Did you see the size of that Tsunami that nearly hit the California beaches this week?" {Conversational partner replies} "My friend, that was not a Tsunami, it was a S.A.W,, also known as a Supernami."
3. Sir James Clark Ross and Count Fleurvo of Korkyville were finally recognized for their research and position on Seismic Aqueous Waveforms (S.A.W.).
by Charitable Disguise December 19, 2019
An experiential rite of passage for graduate students wherein the immersion into ancient, thermal, translucent seminal fluid filled Hungarian caverns transforms dissonant, quasi-intellectual brain cells into a hyper-aligned neural configuration, inducing a genius level information processing, multi-dimensional innovation & superior emotional agility.
{Ca 2005 - Budapest Hungary: Two ambitious MBA students, Jason Von Goggle & D Dog, guided by their professorial mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo enter a musty portal accompanied by European post cold war era techno music. As the moist, loin infused vaporlettes enveloped the 3 men, a wafting sense of purpose revealed itself as a voice, eminating from the waters edge resemblant of an Ancient Ottoman Angel, they heard the words (Hungarian accent), "Get into the cave bath...& explore my caverns." Perplexed, yet eager with confused anticipation, the 3 swam through the hybrid, geo-architectural labyrinth on a quest for wisdom, enlightenment & a surprise, grotesque coital engagement between consenting adults donning the minimum garments required, enough so to give a child mental scars but not risque enough to get arrested. Von Goggle & D Dog would soon emerge, cleansed, subtly violated & reinvigorated with the motivation of an ancient Greco Roman scholar, suited for battle, ontological debate & prepared to expose themselves, with confidence in a more revealing, modernized bathing outfit, like that of their mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo.
{Ca 2005 - Budapest Hungary: Two ambitious MBA students, Jason Von Goggle & D Dog, guided by their professorial mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo enter a musty portal accompanied by European post cold war era techno music. As the moist, loin infused vaporlettes enveloped the 3 men, a wafting sense of purpose revealed itself as a voice, eminating from the waters edge resemblant of an Ancient Ottoman Angel, they heard the words (Hungarian accent), "Get into the cave bath...& explore my caverns." Perplexed, yet eager with confused anticipation, the 3 swam through the hybrid, geo-architectural labyrinth on a quest for wisdom, enlightenment & a surprise, grotesque coital engagement between consenting adults donning the minimum garments required, enough so to give a child mental scars but not risque enough to get arrested. Von Goggle & D Dog would soon emerge, cleansed, subtly violated & reinvigorated with the motivation of an ancient Greco Roman scholar, suited for battle, ontological debate & prepared to expose themselves, with confidence in a more revealing, modernized bathing outfit, like that of their mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo.
1. "Jason, what is that shimmering oily film on top of the water? Is that supposed to be part of the 'Cave Bathing' experience?" Yes, D Dog, now quit looking at that hairy couple in a primordial carnal exchange, and dunk your sack in the Cave Bath.
2. {Professor Thongspeedo explains to Jason and D Dog} "Gentlemen, follow me down the corridor and immerse yourselves in the bountiful tonic that once permeated the flesh from the likes of the ancient Romans. Now, forget that you just saw a man clipping his toenails near the edge of the reservoir into the bath, and join me in the celebration of your transformation to noble scholars, courtesy of the 'Cave Bathing' experience."
2. {Professor Thongspeedo explains to Jason and D Dog} "Gentlemen, follow me down the corridor and immerse yourselves in the bountiful tonic that once permeated the flesh from the likes of the ancient Romans. Now, forget that you just saw a man clipping his toenails near the edge of the reservoir into the bath, and join me in the celebration of your transformation to noble scholars, courtesy of the 'Cave Bathing' experience."
by Charitable Disguise January 26, 2020