Skip to main content

Definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose

Texas toothbrush 

A large brush used to clean a commode. A toilet brush.

... But everything's big in Texas!
Homer scrubbed his toilet pot with a Texas toothbrush before his parents came to visit.
A mild, tame, weak-flavored sauce used to add piquancy to food.
A tablespoon of Tobasco sauce will add some life to bacon, sausage, and potatoes.
Tobasco by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005
A goofy looking rat character designed by Ed "Big Daddy" Roth.

A show car designed by Ed "Big Daddy" Roth.
Big Daddy's Rat Fink car of 1963 was a kart driven by a Cadillac starter motor.
Rat Fink by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005

Amos 'n' Andy 

The first television show with a black cast. The entrance of black entertainers into mainstream America. The television show to which all black entertainers owe a great debt of thanks. A mighty funny comedy show.

A show despised and feared by white liberal twits, who say it is racist because the Kingfish is a con artist and Andy is stupid. White liberals say that, if you watch this show, you will think that ALL black people are con artists or stupid. If you watch it, you will surely get a compulsion to put on a bedsheet and burn a cross on your neighbor's lawn. (White liberals do not say that if you watch Training Day, you will think that all black people talk toilet talk and are violent. Why not?)
Hillary Clinton and John Kerry do NOT want you to watch Amos 'n' Andy, so there must be something mighty good about it.

Jewish Dilemma 

Free ham.

From the stereotype that a Jew can't resist a bargain, and the Levitical prohibition of eating pork.
Father Murphy offered Rabii Bender a ham sandwich. "Oj gevalt!" moaned the good Rabii, "such a Jewish dilemma!"

Mexican heartburn 

A hot and firey rash on the keister, caused by eating hot sauce or hot peppers.
After eating a delicious meal at El Pollo Borracho, Margaret got a Mexican heartburn. "It was worth it," she said.

tile peeler 

A vile and mephitic fart. A fart that stinks so badly, it will clear out a smoke-filled pool hall. Downright nasty fart.
Melissa fired off a tile peeler in church, proving the Confucian adage, "Lady who fart in church sit in own pew."
tile peeler by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005