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173 definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose

A limp-wristed liberal mush wimp who knows what is best for you and me. He knows we should have our guns taken away, so only crips will have guns. Then we will have no way to defend ourselves from crips or liberals.

He wants to tax our pants off and give the money to guys of color, Mexicans, and poofters. Also to soccer moms so they can have abortions.
If I paid as little income tax as Senaturd Ted Kennedy, I would have enough money to live on.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 21, 2005
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A large brush used to clean a commode. A toilet brush.

... But everything's big in Texas!
Homer scrubbed his toilet pot with a Texas toothbrush before his parents came to visit.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 7, 2005
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An ass gasket. A paper toilet seat cover commonly found in public restrooms.

This expression has been common since at least the 1950s, and cold be older.
Mrs. Murphy put a Texas t-shirt onto the toilet seat in Hannigan's Bar.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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A vile and mephitic fart. A fart that stinks so badly, it will clear out a smoke-filled pool hall. Downright nasty fart.
Melissa fired off a tile peeler in church, proving the Confucian adage, "Lady who fart in church sit in own pew."
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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A bogus, phoney baloney pseudo-punishment inflicted by soccer moms on their day care brats, after said day care brats have disobeyed for the 27th time.

The time out has a beginning, but never an end. Before the soccer mom releases the day care brat, the day care brat releases itself.
After little Chutney disobeyed her soccer mom for the 27th time, Michner gave her a time out.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
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A liberal expression meaning an inexpensive handgun. (Of course, the REAL definition of an inexpensive handgun is CHEAP INSURANCE.)

Liberal politicians tell yuppie and soccer mom constituents that they will ban Saturday Night Specials, which makes the yuppies and soccer moms feel all warm and fuzzy.

Of course, banning inexpensive handguns deprives poor people of their most effective defense against Pachuco boys and other criminals.
Senaturd Kennedy wants to ban the Saturday Night Special.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005
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A sea-borne dive bomber of World War II, the Douglas SBD Dauntless. The SBD was the Navy's main dive bomber in the first two years of the war. SBDs sank all four Japanese at the Battle of Midway in 1942. Pilots often called their plains "Slow but Deadly."

A silent but deadly fart. A foul-smelling tile peeler eased into play without a peep. This is the favorite fart of the prim and proper lady, and is useful at lady's clubs, in elevators, in streetcars, and in church.
Swede Vejtasa was an SBD Dauntless pilot in World War II. He shot down seven planes in one day in 1942.

Melissa let an SBD right next to the punch bowl at the church bazaar.
by Cap'n Bullmoose September 24, 2007
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