Btwitsjennifer's definitions

erectile hyperfunction

(n.) Erectile hyperfunction (EH) is a disorder of the penis that causes a man to always have a hard on. Men who are full of themselves and believe they are Gods gift to women are often posterboys for EH. Because they always have a hard dick, they will have sex with just about anyone, including other men and do not feel bad for letting the family pet lick peanut butter off their genitals. Men with EH think having EH is wonderful. They also believe everyone and their mothers want a piece of that. Men with EH are at greater risk for STDs, multiple lives, and crusty underwear. If they are not fucking actual women, you will often find them pretending to be taking a big shit when, in fact, they are jerking off in the bathroom.

In today’s news, a woman who found out her husband has Erectile Hyperfunction and has been blowing loads in hundreds of women for the last 20 years, cures him of the disorder when she cut off his dick and threw it into the alligator exhibit at the local zoo.

by Btwitsjennifer June 5, 2018

hangy pussy

(n.) a term used to describe a vagina with longer than normal labia. While adding weights to piercings in the labia will cause a hangy pussy to develop rapidly, fisting done by 2 or more people at one time only creates a big fucking opening. It is believed that if the labia are long enough, a woman can submerge her hangy pussy into the ocean and hundreds of jellyfish will surround it as if the hangy pussy was a queen jellyfish. Hangy pussy causes extreme camel toe. Pumping a hangy pussy for a “fat” look is not recommended.

The boy had been thinking about how his teachers pussy looked so fat when she stood in front of his desk wearing leggings. You can imagine his surprise when he pulled down her panties and saw her hangy pussy unfold.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

Satellite girl

(n.) A girl, associated by employment with a specific store in a specific location, who has a special relationship with a vendor to that store. Satellite girls are usually sought out by married, narcissistic vendors at each of their delivery stops so they never have to go without attention. Satellite girls provide a listening ear for the vendor to spill his relationship woes to and also provide a fun, flirty, and often sexual experience for the vendor during his stop. The satellite girl may be led to believe she is in a legitimate relationship with the vendor, but she is not aware that he has similar relationships with a girl at all of his stops. Due to the hard feelings brought about by the deception surrounding the relationship between vendor and his satellite girl, the satellite girl will usually end up leaving her job and another girl will unknowingly take her spot. In extreme cases of hard feelings or if the relationship posts a threat to the livelihood of the vendor, the vendor may change routes to lose that stop and cut ties with the satellite girl.

Vendor 1: Were you getting head out beside Wal-Mart around 2 from the customer service chick?

Vendor2: Yep! She gives me head every Wednesday after I check their order in.

Vendor1: Ain’t you married, bruh?

Vendor 2: Man, she’s just a satellite girl; I can’t even remember her damn name.

by Btwitsjennifer June 12, 2018

Anally induced Epilicksy

(n.) A condition characterized by a series of brain seizures that start to occur when one orgasms from having their salad tossed, usually by an experienced salad tosser.

Because Clyde suffers from anally induced epilicksy, Martha is careful about how far she sticks her tongue into his ass. The last time she tossed his salad, Clyde’s sphincter contracted during a seizure and Martha’s tongue was stuck in his ass for 12 minutes.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

Unsingle

(1) The state of being in a committed relationship with someone who is not committed to the relationship.

(2) Not single, but not officially in a relationship.

I have wasted many years being an unsingle woman, giving my heart to men who never had any intention of committing to me exclusively.

by Btwitsjennifer April 2, 2019

Angrouse

|aNG-rouz|

past tense- angroused

(v.) the act of being simultaneously sexually awakened and angry causing intense, passionate , rage-like behavior.

I purposely angrouse my man during sex by telling him I maxed out a credit card that day. He just isn’t the aggressive type and sometimes I just want him to fuck me like an animal.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

BLMAO

BLMAO is an acronym that stands for Belly Laughing My Ass Off. People usually use this acronym in texti when they find something so funny that they are laughing deeply, or if they cannot stop laughing.

Text Message

Girl 1: Oh my God, the puppy just peed on his leg! Lol

Girl 2: You’re kidding?! LMAO

Girl 1: GIRL! That puppy just threw up on his lap too!!! He’s pissed! LMAO

Girl 2: You are killing me! Stop! BLMAO

by Btwitsjennifer June 16, 2018