Definitions by Btwitsjennifer

hangy pussy 

(n.) a term used to describe a vagina with longer than normal labia. While adding weights to piercings in the labia will cause a hangy pussy to develop rapidly, fisting done by 2 or more people at one time only creates a big fucking opening. It is believed that if the labia are long enough, a woman can submerge her hangy pussy into the ocean and hundreds of jellyfish will surround it as if the hangy pussy was a queen jellyfish. Hangy pussy causes extreme camel toe. Pumping a hangy pussy for a “fat” look is not recommended.

The boy had been thinking about how his teachers pussy looked so fat when she stood in front of his desk wearing leggings. You can imagine his surprise when he pulled down her panties and saw her hangy pussy unfold.

hangy pussy by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

mamarate

(n.) mamarate—a southern form of offensive martial arts, developed and practiced by mothers, that uses both bare hands and any surrounding object that can be used as a weapon to inflict intentional pain, misery, and/or death. Any circumstance in which an angry mother (see also Mama bear) physically attacks another person, especially as a form of justice for hurting one of her kids, can be characterized as mamarate. In mamarate, rules fly out the window. Due to the surprise, vicious nature of the attacking mother, mamarate is a very dangerous form of fighting. Often times, the attacker becomes so angry, she will black out and not even remember killing a bitch. Bystanders are advised to run and hide if they see someone using mamarate on another person. Though it mostly occurs randomly, the fatal and more heavily gruesome attacks are usually carefully calculated for an embarrassing death and double victory of sorts. Not only is it almost certain fatalities will be discovered missing genitals, it is widely rumored the missing genitals will be saved and later used in an attack on another enemy of the mother.

Mess with one of my kids and see if I don’t open up a can of mamarate on dat ass! I promise you’ll be sipping soup in a hospital bed through your last two teeth. Bitch.

mamarate by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

Famfacker 

Like the female homewrecker, a man who preys on women of all relationship statuses who usually have children. He carefully chooses women who are awesome moms, attractive, and have big hearts because they are the ones who will always remember the pain he caused. He weaves himself into the circle and proceeds to fit right in as if he has always been a part of the family. The children enjoy his company and playfulness, and "I love you" is often exchanged between the man and woman, and the man and children. After the man has infected the family with his charm, love, and protection, and after he plants seeds of hopes and dreams, he fucks the family by showing them he was just faking.

Can you believe that Famfacker weaved himself into my family for years, pretending to love and care, and then
left like he didn't even know us!

Famfacker by Btwitsjennifer June 12, 2018

Satellite girl 

(n.) A girl, associated by employment with a specific store in a specific location, who has a special relationship with a vendor to that store. Satellite girls are usually sought out by married, narcissistic vendors at each of their delivery stops so they never have to go without attention. Satellite girls provide a listening ear for the vendor to spill his relationship woes to and also provide a fun, flirty, and often sexual experience for the vendor during his stop. The satellite girl may be led to believe she is in a legitimate relationship with the vendor, but she is not aware that he has similar relationships with a girl at all of his stops. Due to the hard feelings brought about by the deception surrounding the relationship between vendor and his satellite girl, the satellite girl will usually end up leaving her job and another girl will unknowingly take her spot. In extreme cases of hard feelings or if the relationship posts a threat to the livelihood of the vendor, the vendor may change routes to lose that stop and cut ties with the satellite girl.

Vendor 1: Were you getting head out beside Wal-Mart around 2 from the customer service chick?

Vendor2: Yep! She gives me head every Wednesday after I check their order in.

Vendor1: Ain’t you married, bruh?

Vendor 2: Man, she’s just a satellite girl; I can’t even remember her damn name.

Satellite girl by Btwitsjennifer June 12, 2018

erectile hyperfunction

(n.) Erectile hyperfunction (EH) is a disorder of the penis that causes a man to always have a hard on. Men who are full of themselves and believe they are Gods gift to women are often posterboys for EH. Because they always have a hard dick, they will have sex with just about anyone, including other men and do not feel bad for letting the family pet lick peanut butter off their genitals. Men with EH think having EH is wonderful. They also believe everyone and their mothers want a piece of that. Men with EH are at greater risk for STDs, multiple lives, and crusty underwear. If they are not fucking actual women, you will often find them pretending to be taking a big shit when, in fact, they are jerking off in the bathroom.

In today’s news, a woman who found out her husband has Erectile Hyperfunction and has been blowing loads in hundreds of women for the last 20 years, cures him of the disorder when she cut off his dick and threw it into the alligator exhibit at the local zoo.

erectile hyperfunction by Btwitsjennifer June 5, 2018

dickhurt 

(adj.) when a person with a penis feels or shows negative emotions after a comment is made about his penis, directly or indirectly. He will usually take offense, even to general statements, and will respond with anger and/or by personally attacking the person who made the comments.

The Instagram follower got dickhurt and cussed me out when I said men over 40 can’t keep up, sexually, with women in their prime.

dickhurt by Btwitsjennifer June 4, 2018

Baby Cougar 

(n.) a confident woman age 35-39 who is usually out of the club scene but like to go every once in a while just to turn up. She easily attracts men who are younger than she is because of her beauty, wisdom and drama-free lifestyle. She enjoys girl trips, dick deliveries, collecting vibrators, island baecations, getting dolled up for dinner dates, drinking wine at home, spa dates, cooking to old R&B, calm bars and lounges, and weekends having nasty sex and watching movies.

Girl 1: Did you see your mom dancing with that college boy last night?

Girl 2: Yes! He followed her around like a puppy dog all night!

Girl 1: She took him home! Girl, Yo mama is a baby cougar!

Baby Cougar by Btwitsjennifer May 30, 2018