#somewhere

The hashtag used when referring to a speakeasy in Anderson, South Carolina.

Text Messages between two best friends:

Friend 1: That picture you posted of you and that tall Guy was hot! Where did y’all end up going?

Friend 2: #somewhere!

by Btwitsjennifer June 16, 2018

Anally induced Epilicksy

(n.) A condition characterized by a series of brain seizures that start to occur when one orgasms from having their salad tossed, usually by an experienced salad tosser.

Because Clyde suffers from anally induced epilicksy, Martha is careful about how far she sticks her tongue into his ass. The last time she tossed his salad, Clyde’s sphincter contracted during a seizure and Martha’s tongue was stuck in his ass for 12 minutes.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

dickhurt

(adj.) when a person with a penis feels or shows negative emotions after a comment is made about his penis, directly or indirectly. He will usually take offense, even to general statements, and will respond with anger and/or by personally attacking the person who made the comments.

The Instagram follower got dickhurt and cussed me out when I said men over 40 can’t keep up, sexually, with women in their prime.

by Btwitsjennifer June 04, 2018

erectile hyperfunction

(n.) Erectile hyperfunction (EH) is a disorder of the penis that causes a man to always have a hard on. Men who are full of themselves and believe they are Gods gift to women are often posterboys for EH. Because they always have a hard dick, they will have sex with just about anyone, including other men and do not feel bad for letting the family pet lick peanut butter off their genitals. Men with EH think having EH is wonderful. They also believe everyone and their mothers want a piece of that. Men with EH are at greater risk for STDs, multiple lives, and crusty underwear. If they are not fucking actual women, you will often find them pretending to be taking a big shit when, in fact, they are jerking off in the bathroom.

In today’s news, a woman who found out her husband has Erectile Hyperfunction and has been blowing loads in hundreds of women for the last 20 years, cures him of the disorder when she cut off his dick and threw it into the alligator exhibit at the local zoo.

by Btwitsjennifer June 05, 2018

nocturnal smuffocation

(v.) to be or become choked or smothered during sleep by a vagina, a.k.a. muff.

An Anderson woman died today from nocturnal smuffocation when the trashy prostitute, who she had been giving a place to stay, roofied the woman and waited for her to pass out before she rode the woman’s face, forcing non consensual cuninglingus.

by Btwitsjennifer July 03, 2018

Sneaky Aunt Martha

(n.) a surprise technique used by a woman being fucked from behind. The woman buries her face in a pepper covered pillow to make herself sneeze at the same time her man starts to cum. The sneeze will cause her vaginal muscles to grip his ejacualting dick like the airway-constricting hug from fat Aunt Martha little boys try to hide from at family reunions.

My wife’s Sneaky Aunt Martha hugged my dick so tight, I was gasping for air when I busted a nut.

by Btwitsjennifer May 29, 2018

Baby Cougar

(n.) a confident woman age 35-39 who is usually out of the club scene but like to go every once in a while just to turn up. She easily attracts men who are younger than she is because of her beauty, wisdom and drama-free lifestyle. She enjoys girl trips, dick deliveries, collecting vibrators, island baecations, getting dolled up for dinner dates, drinking wine at home, spa dates, cooking to old R&B, calm bars and lounges, and weekends having nasty sex and watching movies.

Girl 1: Did you see your mom dancing with that college boy last night?

Girl 2: Yes! He followed her around like a puppy dog all night!

Girl 1: She took him home! Girl, Yo mama is a baby cougar!

by Btwitsjennifer May 30, 2018