Btwitsjennifer's definitions

#somewhere

The hashtag used when referring to a speakeasy in Anderson, South Carolina.

Text Messages between two best friends:

Friend 1: That picture you posted of you and that tall Guy was hot! Where did y’all end up going?

Friend 2: #somewhere!

by Btwitsjennifer June 16, 2018

dickhurt

(adj.) when a person with a penis feels or shows negative emotions after a comment is made about his penis, directly or indirectly. He will usually take offense, even to general statements, and will respond with anger and/or by personally attacking the person who made the comments.

The Instagram follower got dickhurt and cussed me out when I said men over 40 can’t keep up, sexually, with women in their prime.

by Btwitsjennifer June 4, 2018

mamarate

(n.) mamarate—a southern form of offensive martial arts, developed and practiced by mothers, that uses both bare hands and any surrounding object that can be used as a weapon to inflict intentional pain, misery, and/or death. Any circumstance in which an angry mother (see also Mama bear) physically attacks another person, especially as a form of justice for hurting one of her kids, can be characterized as mamarate. In mamarate, rules fly out the window. Due to the surprise, vicious nature of the attacking mother, mamarate is a very dangerous form of fighting. Often times, the attacker becomes so angry, she will black out and not even remember killing a bitch. Bystanders are advised to run and hide if they see someone using mamarate on another person. Though it mostly occurs randomly, the fatal and more heavily gruesome attacks are usually carefully calculated for an embarrassing death and double victory of sorts. Not only is it almost certain fatalities will be discovered missing genitals, it is widely rumored the missing genitals will be saved and later used in an attack on another enemy of the mother.

Mess with one of my kids and see if I don’t open up a can of mamarate on dat ass! I promise you’ll be sipping soup in a hospital bed through your last two teeth. Bitch.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

Baby Cougar

(n.) a confident woman age 35-39 who is usually out of the club scene but like to go every once in a while just to turn up. She easily attracts men who are younger than she is because of her beauty, wisdom and drama-free lifestyle. She enjoys girl trips, dick deliveries, collecting vibrators, island baecations, getting dolled up for dinner dates, drinking wine at home, spa dates, cooking to old R&B, calm bars and lounges, and weekends having nasty sex and watching movies.

Girl 1: Did you see your mom dancing with that college boy last night?

Girl 2: Yes! He followed her around like a puppy dog all night!

Girl 1: She took him home! Girl, Yo mama is a baby cougar!

by Btwitsjennifer May 30, 2018

Pop-n-slop

(n.) the name for a quick, mildly uncomfortable, slap to the head of a penis followed by an ultra-wild blow job with fast, head-focused bobbing action while slop-like food is in the mouth. This advanced technique works best on the man who hates surprises. It will cause simultaneous anger and arousal, and he will dominate the blow job forcing slop to go everywhere. A well-mastered pop-n-slop should be so messy that it causes the giver to produce involuntary pig noises while trying to catch a breath between thrusts.

The first time I farted in front of my boyfriend, I was giving him a pop-n-slop. He ended up fucking my face so hard that I gagged and farted at the same time.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

Sneaky Aunt Martha

(n.) a surprise technique used by a woman being fucked from behind. The woman buries her face in a pepper covered pillow to make herself sneeze at the same time her man starts to cum. The sneeze will cause her vaginal muscles to grip his ejacualting dick like the airway-constricting hug from fat Aunt Martha little boys try to hide from at family reunions.

My wife’s Sneaky Aunt Martha hugged my dick so tight, I was gasping for air when I busted a nut.

by Btwitsjennifer May 29, 2018

nocturnal smuffocation

(v.) to be or become choked or smothered during sleep by a vagina, a.k.a. muff.

An Anderson woman died today from nocturnal smuffocation when the trashy prostitute, who she had been giving a place to stay, roofied the woman and waited for her to pass out before she rode the woman’s face, forcing non consensual cuninglingus.

by Btwitsjennifer July 3, 2018