nocturnal smuffocation

(v.) to be or become choked or smothered during sleep by a vagina, a.k.a. muff.

An Anderson woman died today from nocturnal smuffocation when the trashy prostitute, who she had been giving a place to stay, roofied the woman and waited for her to pass out before she rode the woman’s face, forcing non consensual cuninglingus.

by Btwitsjennifer July 03, 2018

Pop-n-slop

(n.) the name for a quick, mildly uncomfortable, slap to the head of a penis followed by an ultra-wild blow job with fast, head-focused bobbing action while slop-like food is in the mouth. This advanced technique works best on the man who hates surprises. It will cause simultaneous anger and arousal, and he will dominate the blow job forcing slop to go everywhere. A well-mastered pop-n-slop should be so messy that it causes the giver to produce involuntary pig noises while trying to catch a breath between thrusts.

The first time I farted in front of my boyfriend, I was giving him a pop-n-slop. He ended up fucking my face so hard that I gagged and farted at the same time.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

Angrouse

|aNG-rouz|

past tense- angroused

(v.) the act of being simultaneously sexually awakened and angry causing intense, passionate , rage-like behavior.

I purposely angrouse my man during sex by telling him I maxed out a credit card that day. He just isn’t the aggressive type and sometimes I just want him to fuck me like an animal.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

mamarate

(n.) mamarate—a southern form of offensive martial arts, developed and practiced by mothers, that uses both bare hands and any surrounding object that can be used as a weapon to inflict intentional pain, misery, and/or death. Any circumstance in which an angry mother (see also Mama bear) physically attacks another person, especially as a form of justice for hurting one of her kids, can be characterized as mamarate. In mamarate, rules fly out the window. Due to the surprise, vicious nature of the attacking mother, mamarate is a very dangerous form of fighting. Often times, the attacker becomes so angry, she will black out and not even remember killing a bitch. Bystanders are advised to run and hide if they see someone using mamarate on another person. Though it mostly occurs randomly, the fatal and more heavily gruesome attacks are usually carefully calculated for an embarrassing death and double victory of sorts. Not only is it almost certain fatalities will be discovered missing genitals, it is widely rumored the missing genitals will be saved and later used in an attack on another enemy of the mother.

Mess with one of my kids and see if I don’t open up a can of mamarate on dat ass! I promise you’ll be sipping soup in a hospital bed through your last two teeth. Bitch.

by Btwitsjennifer June 13, 2018

BLMAO

BLMAO is an acronym that stands for Belly Laughing My Ass Off. People usually use this acronym in texti when they find something so funny that they are laughing deeply, or if they cannot stop laughing.

Text Message

Girl 1: Oh my God, the puppy just peed on his leg! Lol

Girl 2: You’re kidding?! LMAO

Girl 1: GIRL! That puppy just threw up on his lap too!!! He’s pissed! LMAO

Girl 2: You are killing me! Stop! BLMAO

by Btwitsjennifer June 16, 2018

erectile hyperfunction

(n.) Erectile hyperfunction (EH) is a disorder of the penis that causes a man to always have a hard on. Men who are full of themselves and believe they are Gods gift to women are often posterboys for EH. Because they always have a hard dick, they will have sex with just about anyone, including other men and do not feel bad for letting the family pet lick peanut butter off their genitals. Men with EH think having EH is wonderful. They also believe everyone and their mothers want a piece of that. Men with EH are at greater risk for STDs, multiple lives, and crusty underwear. If they are not fucking actual women, you will often find them pretending to be taking a big shit when, in fact, they are jerking off in the bathroom.

In today’s news, a woman who found out her husband has Erectile Hyperfunction and has been blowing loads in hundreds of women for the last 20 years, cures him of the disorder when she cut off his dick and threw it into the alligator exhibit at the local zoo.

by Btwitsjennifer June 05, 2018

Sneaky Aunt Martha

(n.) a surprise technique used by a woman being fucked from behind. The woman buries her face in a pepper covered pillow to make herself sneeze at the same time her man starts to cum. The sneeze will cause her vaginal muscles to grip his ejacualting dick like the airway-constricting hug from fat Aunt Martha little boys try to hide from at family reunions.

My wife’s Sneaky Aunt Martha hugged my dick so tight, I was gasping for air when I busted a nut.

by Btwitsjennifer May 29, 2018