Alvit's definitions
Here are some ways of calling someone 'stupid':
A Few Clowns Short of a Circus
A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal
An Experiment in Artificial Stupidity
A Few Beers Short of a Six-Pack
Dumber Than a Box of Hair
A Few Peas Short of a Casserole
Doesn't Have All Her Cornflakes in One Box
The Wheel's Spinning, But the Hamsters Dead
One Fruit Loop Shy of a Full Bowl
One Taco Short of a Combination Plate
A Few Feathers Short of a Whole Duck
All Foam, No Beer
The Cheese Slid Off Her Cracker
Body by Fisher, Brains by Mattel
Couldn't Pour Water Out of a Boot With Instructions on the Heel
He Fell Out of the Stupid Tree and Hit Every Branch on the Way Down
An Intellect Rivaled Only by Garden Tools
As Smart as Bait
Chimney's Clogged
Doesn't Have All His Dogs on One Leash
Doesn't Know Much but Leads the League in Nostril Hair
Elevator Doesn't Go All the Way to the Top Floor
Forgot to Pay Her Brain Bill
Her Sewing Machine's Out of Thread
His Antenna Doesn't Pick Up All the Channels
His Belt Doesn't Go Through All the Loops
If She Had Another Brain, It Would be Lonely
Missing a Few Buttons on His Remote Control
No Grain in the Silo
Proof That Evolution Can Go in Reverse
Receiver is off the Hook
Several Nuts Short of a Full Pouch
Skylight Leaks a Little
Slinky's Kinked
Surfing in Nebraska
Too Much Yardage Between the Goal Posts
Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer
The Lights are on, but Nobody's Home
24 Cents Short of a Quarter
A Few Clowns Short of a Circus
A Few Fries Short of a Happy Meal
An Experiment in Artificial Stupidity
A Few Beers Short of a Six-Pack
Dumber Than a Box of Hair
A Few Peas Short of a Casserole
Doesn't Have All Her Cornflakes in One Box
The Wheel's Spinning, But the Hamsters Dead
One Fruit Loop Shy of a Full Bowl
One Taco Short of a Combination Plate
A Few Feathers Short of a Whole Duck
All Foam, No Beer
The Cheese Slid Off Her Cracker
Body by Fisher, Brains by Mattel
Couldn't Pour Water Out of a Boot With Instructions on the Heel
He Fell Out of the Stupid Tree and Hit Every Branch on the Way Down
An Intellect Rivaled Only by Garden Tools
As Smart as Bait
Chimney's Clogged
Doesn't Have All His Dogs on One Leash
Doesn't Know Much but Leads the League in Nostril Hair
Elevator Doesn't Go All the Way to the Top Floor
Forgot to Pay Her Brain Bill
Her Sewing Machine's Out of Thread
His Antenna Doesn't Pick Up All the Channels
His Belt Doesn't Go Through All the Loops
If She Had Another Brain, It Would be Lonely
Missing a Few Buttons on His Remote Control
No Grain in the Silo
Proof That Evolution Can Go in Reverse
Receiver is off the Hook
Several Nuts Short of a Full Pouch
Skylight Leaks a Little
Slinky's Kinked
Surfing in Nebraska
Too Much Yardage Between the Goal Posts
Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer
The Lights are on, but Nobody's Home
24 Cents Short of a Quarter
by alvit October 27, 2009
Get the stupidmug. Here are some good examples of miscellaneous quickies:
Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven." Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."
Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."
On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."
During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' "
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7."
I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to Heaven," I replied. My son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"
Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The Gates of Heaven." Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."
Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What Denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."
On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."
During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' "
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7."
I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to Heaven," I replied. My son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"
Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
by alvit May 22, 2009
Get the quickiemug. 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion:
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
- Why should your mother-in-law have a square head?
- So it is more convenient to place your glass of beer.
- So it is more convenient to place your glass of beer.
by alvit May 20, 2009
Get the beermug. In the beginning there was the computer. And God said:
%Create the heaven and earth!
#Enter user id.
%God
#Enter password.
%Omniscient
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%Create the heaven and earth!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create earth
#Done
%Run earth
#And God created the heavens and earth and they were dark. And God
saw
there were 0 errors.
%Let there be light!
#Too many perameters. Try again.
%Create light
#Done
%Run light
#And thus there was Day and Night
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Good morning, God, Welcome to the UNIVERSE network
%Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
#Unrecognisable command. Try again.
%Create firmament
#Done.
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and
letthe dry land appear and
#Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
%Create dry_land
#Done.
%Run dry_land
#And God created dry land. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
%Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create sun_moon_stars
#Done
%Run sun_moon_stars
#And God created the lights in the heavens. And God saw there were 0
errors.
%Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit
tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself,
upon the earth.
#Error unmatched 'grass'
%Create grass_herbs_fruit
#Done
%Run grass_herbs_fruit
#And God brought fprth grass and herb yielding seed and the trees
yielding fruit. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
%Create fish
#Done
%Create fowl
#Done
%Run fish, fowl
#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind
and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
%Create cattle
#Done
%Create creepy_things
#Done
%Run cattle, creepy_things
#And God created cattle to graze over the land and creepy crawly
thingsto fly about the night. And God saw that there were
0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
%Now let us make man in our image
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create man
#Done
%Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of
the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
#Too many command operands. Try again.
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%Insert breath
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
%Move man to Garden of Eden
#Directory Garden of Eden does not exist.
%Create Garden.edn#Done
%Move man Garden.edn#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
%Copy Garden.edn\man Garden.edn\woman
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
%Create desire
#Done
%Run multiplication
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create freewill
#Done
%Run freewill
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Undo desire
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Help
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Bugger {backspace}
%Create tree_of_knowledge
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create good, evil
#Done
%Run evil
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in
Garden.edn#1 errors.
%Grep Garden.edn\ 'man' 'woman'
#Search failed.
%Delete shame
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Stop
#Unrecognizable command. Try again
%Break
%Break
%Break
#*** ATTENTION, God: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE
LOG OFF***
%Create new world
#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old
files
before new ones can be created.
%Destroy earth
#Destroy earth: Please confirm n.
%yes
#*** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME
SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW***
#And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
#Approx. funds remaining: $00.00.
%Create the heaven and earth!
#Enter user id.
%God
#Enter password.
%Omniscient
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%Create the heaven and earth!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create earth
#Done
%Run earth
#And God created the heavens and earth and they were dark. And God
saw
there were 0 errors.
%Let there be light!
#Too many perameters. Try again.
%Create light
#Done
%Run light
#And thus there was Day and Night
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Good morning, God, Welcome to the UNIVERSE network
%Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
#Unrecognisable command. Try again.
%Create firmament
#Done.
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and
letthe dry land appear and
#Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
%Create dry_land
#Done.
%Run dry_land
#And God created dry land. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
%Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create sun_moon_stars
#Done
%Run sun_moon_stars
#And God created the lights in the heavens. And God saw there were 0
errors.
%Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit
tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself,
upon the earth.
#Error unmatched 'grass'
%Create grass_herbs_fruit
#Done
%Run grass_herbs_fruit
#And God brought fprth grass and herb yielding seed and the trees
yielding fruit. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
%Create fish
#Done
%Create fowl
#Done
%Run fish, fowl
#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind
and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
%Create cattle
#Done
%Create creepy_things
#Done
%Run cattle, creepy_things
#And God created cattle to graze over the land and creepy crawly
thingsto fly about the night. And God saw that there were
0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
%Now let us make man in our image
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Create man
#Done
%Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of
the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
#Too many command operands. Try again.
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%Insert breath
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
%Move man to Garden of Eden
#Directory Garden of Eden does not exist.
%Create Garden.edn#Done
%Move man Garden.edn#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
%Copy Garden.edn\man Garden.edn\woman
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
%Insert woman into man
#Illegal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
%Create desire
#Done
%Run multiplication
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create freewill
#Done
%Run freewill
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Undo desire
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Help
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Bugger {backspace}
%Create tree_of_knowledge
#And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Garden.edn
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
%Create good, evil
#Done
%Run evil
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in
Garden.edn#1 errors.
%Grep Garden.edn\ 'man' 'woman'
#Search failed.
%Delete shame
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Stop
#Unrecognizable command. Try again
%Break
%Break
%Break
#*** ATTENTION, God: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE
LOG OFF***
%Create new world
#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old
files
before new ones can be created.
%Destroy earth
#Destroy earth: Please confirm n.
%yes
#*** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME
SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW***
#And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
#Approx. funds remaining: $00.00.
by alvit May 28, 2009
Get the programmingmug. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation toward people of the same sex. Homosexuality contrasts with heterosexuality, sexual orientation toward people of the opposite sex. People with a sexual orientation toward members of both sexes are called bisexuals . Female homosexuals are frequently called lesbians. In recent years, the term gay has been applied to both homosexual men and women.
Homosexuality appears in virtually all social contexts-within different community settings, socioeconomic levels, and ethnic and religious groups. The number of homosexuals in the population is difficult to determine, and reliable data do not exist. However, current estimates suggest that the term homosexual may apply to 2 to 4 percent of men. Estimates for lesbians are lower. Not all people who engage in homosexual activity necessarily identify themselves as homosexual.
Their attitudes toward homosexual behavior have varied with time and place. In ancient Greece, homosexual relations were acceptable and, in some cases, expected activity in certain segments of society. Later attitudes toward homosexuality in the Western world were determined largely by prevailing Judeo-Christian moral codes, which treat homosexuality as immoral or sinful. But like many other sins, homosexual relations were seen as expressions of the weakness inherent in all human beings, and not as a mental illness or as the behavior of a specific type of person. This latter view, which regarded homosexuality as a pathology, developed in the late 19th century. By the beginning of the 20th century, psychoanalysts viewed homosexuals as the victims of faulty development, and Austrian physician Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, considered homosexuality a deviant condition. More recently, scientists have searched for a biological explanation for sexual orientation. A study published in 1993 sought to identify a genetic marker for sexual orientation, but the research did not include a cross section of the population and was inconclusive.
During the first half of the 20th century, attitudes toward homosexuality were overwhelmingly negative. Homosexual activities were hidden and spoken of only in whispers, and homosexual behavior, even among consenting adults, was a criminal offense in most of the United States. Homosexuals were subject to stereotypes and prejudice. Gay men were viewed as effeminate, lesbians were portrayed as mannish, and both were seen as being obsessed with sex, with little self-control or morality. Homosexuals frequently were thought to be potential child molesters. In the 1930s and during World War II (1939-1945), homosexuals were targets of persecution in Nazi Germany.
Prejudices against homosexuals in Western societies have only recently begun to change. The first major shift followed the publication of two famous reports, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1952), by American biologist Alfred Charles Kinsey. Although these works contained inflated estimates of the homosexual population and the incidence of behavior, they provided a more realistic picture of homosexuality and helped demystify it. Unlike earlier studies which focused on homosexuals who had sought medical or psychological help, the Kinsey reports described homosexuals outside of clinical settings. Kinsey found homosexuals in all walks of life, growing up in all kinds of families, practicing many different religions. As a result of the ensuing scientific discussion, the American Psychiatric Association in 1973 eliminated homosexuality from its list of mental disorders and, in 1980, dropped it from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.
In recent years, people who support homosexual rights have worked and demonstrated to increase those rights. In the United States, the watershed event for homosexual activism was the Stonewall riot, which protested a police raid on a gay bar in New York City in 1969. It was the first public protest by homosexuals against harassment by police. Since then, homosexual communities in the United States have organized to work for gay rights. Such groups include the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a civil rights organization that promotes equality and freedom from prejudice and discrimination for gays and lesbians; Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, which provides legal representation for gays and lesbians; and the Human Rights Campaign Fund, which lobbies state and national legislators. Gay-rights activist groups are also involved in educational and political activities.
One of the greatest challenges to face the homosexual community was the outbreak of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) in the early 1980s. In the United States, the disease first became prevalent among gay men and spread with devastating effect. When little was known about the disease and how it was spread, AIDS patients and homosexuals experienced an increase in discrimination in housing and health insurance. Many people protested agencies of the U.S. government-including the Centers for Disease Control, the National Institutes of Health, and the Food and Drug Administration-claiming they were slow to respond and study the disease and search for treatment. More organizations were formed to help educate people about the disease and to help AIDS patients get proper care.
In the 1990s homosexual-rights groups addressed a number of other issues, including the rights of gay and lesbian families. Homosexual marriages are not recognized by any state in the United States, and homosexual couples in long-term relationships do not have the same legal protection as people in heterosexual marriages. Adopting children is also problematic for homosexuals, although some states allow a same-sex partner to adopt the biological child of the other partner. Two states, Florida and New Hampshire, have laws which prevent a homosexual couple from adopting a child who is not the biological child of either partner.
Another area in which activists have worked for change is the policy toward gays and lesbians in the military. Before the Clinton administration altered the policy in 1993, candidates for military service filled out a form that included a question on sexual orientation. Under the new policy, popularly called "don't ask, don't tell," that question has been eliminated. Sexual orientation is now considered a personal matter and not a bar to entry or a cause for separation from the military unless the individual engages in homosexual behavior. However, some people consider the policy inadequate because it still forbids homosexual activity.
As activists have worked to secure the rights of homosexuals, the homosexual community has become a more visible presence in society. National publications, such as Christopher Street and The Advocate, have appeared, and churches to serve the homosexual community have been established. With the advent of gay-rights studies programs at many universities, homosexuals have begun to reclaim their history.
As homosexual communities became more visible, large numbers of homosexuals-including some prominent people-have openly declared their identity as homosexuals and demanded their right to equal and respectful treatment. There are now openly gay representatives in the Congress of the United States, and across the country openly gay officials have pursued and often won office.
Homosexuality appears in virtually all social contexts-within different community settings, socioeconomic levels, and ethnic and religious groups. The number of homosexuals in the population is difficult to determine, and reliable data do not exist. However, current estimates suggest that the term homosexual may apply to 2 to 4 percent of men. Estimates for lesbians are lower. Not all people who engage in homosexual activity necessarily identify themselves as homosexual.
Their attitudes toward homosexual behavior have varied with time and place. In ancient Greece, homosexual relations were acceptable and, in some cases, expected activity in certain segments of society. Later attitudes toward homosexuality in the Western world were determined largely by prevailing Judeo-Christian moral codes, which treat homosexuality as immoral or sinful. But like many other sins, homosexual relations were seen as expressions of the weakness inherent in all human beings, and not as a mental illness or as the behavior of a specific type of person. This latter view, which regarded homosexuality as a pathology, developed in the late 19th century. By the beginning of the 20th century, psychoanalysts viewed homosexuals as the victims of faulty development, and Austrian physician Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, considered homosexuality a deviant condition. More recently, scientists have searched for a biological explanation for sexual orientation. A study published in 1993 sought to identify a genetic marker for sexual orientation, but the research did not include a cross section of the population and was inconclusive.
During the first half of the 20th century, attitudes toward homosexuality were overwhelmingly negative. Homosexual activities were hidden and spoken of only in whispers, and homosexual behavior, even among consenting adults, was a criminal offense in most of the United States. Homosexuals were subject to stereotypes and prejudice. Gay men were viewed as effeminate, lesbians were portrayed as mannish, and both were seen as being obsessed with sex, with little self-control or morality. Homosexuals frequently were thought to be potential child molesters. In the 1930s and during World War II (1939-1945), homosexuals were targets of persecution in Nazi Germany.
Prejudices against homosexuals in Western societies have only recently begun to change. The first major shift followed the publication of two famous reports, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1952), by American biologist Alfred Charles Kinsey. Although these works contained inflated estimates of the homosexual population and the incidence of behavior, they provided a more realistic picture of homosexuality and helped demystify it. Unlike earlier studies which focused on homosexuals who had sought medical or psychological help, the Kinsey reports described homosexuals outside of clinical settings. Kinsey found homosexuals in all walks of life, growing up in all kinds of families, practicing many different religions. As a result of the ensuing scientific discussion, the American Psychiatric Association in 1973 eliminated homosexuality from its list of mental disorders and, in 1980, dropped it from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.
In recent years, people who support homosexual rights have worked and demonstrated to increase those rights. In the United States, the watershed event for homosexual activism was the Stonewall riot, which protested a police raid on a gay bar in New York City in 1969. It was the first public protest by homosexuals against harassment by police. Since then, homosexual communities in the United States have organized to work for gay rights. Such groups include the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a civil rights organization that promotes equality and freedom from prejudice and discrimination for gays and lesbians; Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, which provides legal representation for gays and lesbians; and the Human Rights Campaign Fund, which lobbies state and national legislators. Gay-rights activist groups are also involved in educational and political activities.
One of the greatest challenges to face the homosexual community was the outbreak of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) in the early 1980s. In the United States, the disease first became prevalent among gay men and spread with devastating effect. When little was known about the disease and how it was spread, AIDS patients and homosexuals experienced an increase in discrimination in housing and health insurance. Many people protested agencies of the U.S. government-including the Centers for Disease Control, the National Institutes of Health, and the Food and Drug Administration-claiming they were slow to respond and study the disease and search for treatment. More organizations were formed to help educate people about the disease and to help AIDS patients get proper care.
In the 1990s homosexual-rights groups addressed a number of other issues, including the rights of gay and lesbian families. Homosexual marriages are not recognized by any state in the United States, and homosexual couples in long-term relationships do not have the same legal protection as people in heterosexual marriages. Adopting children is also problematic for homosexuals, although some states allow a same-sex partner to adopt the biological child of the other partner. Two states, Florida and New Hampshire, have laws which prevent a homosexual couple from adopting a child who is not the biological child of either partner.
Another area in which activists have worked for change is the policy toward gays and lesbians in the military. Before the Clinton administration altered the policy in 1993, candidates for military service filled out a form that included a question on sexual orientation. Under the new policy, popularly called "don't ask, don't tell," that question has been eliminated. Sexual orientation is now considered a personal matter and not a bar to entry or a cause for separation from the military unless the individual engages in homosexual behavior. However, some people consider the policy inadequate because it still forbids homosexual activity.
As activists have worked to secure the rights of homosexuals, the homosexual community has become a more visible presence in society. National publications, such as Christopher Street and The Advocate, have appeared, and churches to serve the homosexual community have been established. With the advent of gay-rights studies programs at many universities, homosexuals have begun to reclaim their history.
As homosexual communities became more visible, large numbers of homosexuals-including some prominent people-have openly declared their identity as homosexuals and demanded their right to equal and respectful treatment. There are now openly gay representatives in the Congress of the United States, and across the country openly gay officials have pursued and often won office.
by alvit July 21, 2009
Get the gaymug. Taoism: Shit happens.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens it isn't really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Jehovah's witness: Knock, knock. "Shit happens."
Atheism: There is no shit.
Agnosticism: I don't know whether shit happens.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserved it.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit happens".
Buddhism: If shit happens it isn't really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Jehovah's witness: Knock, knock. "Shit happens."
Atheism: There is no shit.
Agnosticism: I don't know whether shit happens.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserved it.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Religion is people's best-quality opium.
by alvit May 19, 2009
Get the Religionmug. Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing God said to them was: "Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam asked.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit", said God.
"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?" Adam and Eve asked, jumping up and down excitedly.
"It's over there," said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having a forbidden fruit break and he was very angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you do it?" God asked exasperatedly.
"I dunno," Adam answered.
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be so hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling his children, what makes you think it should be a piece of cake for you?
And the first thing God said to them was: "Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam asked.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit", said God.
"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?" Adam and Eve asked, jumping up and down excitedly.
"It's over there," said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having a forbidden fruit break and he was very angry.
"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you do it?" God asked exasperatedly.
"I dunno," Adam answered.
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be so hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling his children, what makes you think it should be a piece of cake for you?
by alvit May 17, 2009
Get the kidmug.