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Slap you with a day old biscuit 

When you have been pissed at someone since yesterday and are on the edge of hitting them today.
Don't say nuthin to me. You were wrong for that sh@t yesterday. I will slap you with a day old biscuit!!

slap you with a day old biscuit 

Hitting someone and making them feel like they never got a chance to butter their muffin
Don't talk to me today after what you did, I'll slap you with a day old biscuit!

Would you risk it for a chocolate biscuit?

Take the risk, you might get a nice reward......Fortune favours the brave!
Go on give it a go.........would you risk it for a chocolate biscuit?

show you how the biscuits are made 

To take someone to the bedroom, or any location really, and proceed to pleasure them in as many ways as there are to make biscuits; which is many.
"You keep talking like that and I might just take you to the local aquarium and show you how the biscuits are made!"