A premise of connected bullshit online advertisements that claim to give you things you simply can't have, for a simple monthly fee along with your personal information, which undoubtedly transmits through a secure, non virus-contaminated internet connection that's not being patrolled 24/7 by identity thieves. They offer things like bigger penises and slimmer waistlines because they want to make an offer no one's ever thought of before!
Husband: "Honey - I saw this add on the internet about a penis enlargement, and look what it did for m -" SPPLATTT!
"Yep. That's one weird trick for sure! Put it in the freezer, and I'll take it to work in the morning."
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)