UK/Aus/NZ slang for:

1. Someone excessively and annoyingly pretentious and/or false, with a strong likelihood of working in the creative industries, especially "new media". Very high populations of wankers are to be found in certain areas of London including Shoreditch and Hoxton; see also Shoreditch twat.

2. Someone with a faintly sociopathic lack of regard for other people; see also arsehole.

3. Someone useless, inefficient or time-wasting, especially in a place or work and/or position of responsibility.

4. A general term of abuse.

5. Someone who masturbates.
1. He spent twenty minutes telling me about the studio's new pathways they're developing in innovative synergistic blue-sky-media treatment concepts. In a fake Cockney-geezer accent. What a fucking wanker.

2. That cunt in the sports car just totally cut me up. What a fucking wanker.

3. He's being paid £25/hour and he just sits there playing Freecell whilst the rest of us do all his work for him, because he's the boss's mate. What a fucking wanker.

4. You're a fucking wanker.

5. You're a fucking wanker.
by snootful October 07, 2012
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to be so completely inebriated so as to lose all cognitive function
This guy was so wankered in the pub, that he pissed himself
by da22er April 20, 2009
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While "to wank" means "to masturbate", the term "wanker" is seldom if ever used in British slang to denote "one who wanks". It is quite wrong to infer from somebody's being a wanker that they in fact wank (and vice versa), but of course, fair to assume they do in any case. Herein lies the genius of the insult: if you call someone a wanker, it's probably true, but only literally.

I suppose it all originates from our repressed Victorian sexualities, from back when everybody thought they were the only ones to suffer the secret shame of being an actual wanker.

Most children these days learn the word "wanker" long before they learn its literal meaning.
You're such a wanker.
Oh gosh! How did you know?

He lost both of his hands in a childhood kiting accident.
What a wanker!
by anonymous May 31, 2004
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Taking part in an act that will have you labeled as a wanker.
Pawan, would you stop wankering with those pokemon cards and come with us.
by MAN_WITH_PANTS October 29, 2004
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