useless as a call-centre operative 

Usually someone utterly, totally useless, but can be applied to inanimate objects. Lacking any empowerment, thus going so far as to be inactively obstructive.
Etymology: in the UK a number of large companies operate call-centres. When one attempts to call these to complain, the usual response from the responder (the call-centre operative) is feigned interest in the issue, involving lengthy explanations, then the final response is that they cannot authorise the issue in question as due to lack of authority. The issues can be of any magnitude. When asked to be passed to a manager, they claim the manager is unavailable and will call back (this is the inactive-obstructive part). This never occurs, so one calls again. The situation recurses.
c.f. "chocolate teapot"

I attempted to wipe my arse with some own-brand toilet paper, after wiping the paper looked clean but the disgusting skiddies in my kecks later showed it was as useless as a call-centre operative.

useless as a call-centre operative by monsieur_tm December 30, 2013