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one upper
An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.
Person: I got to meet James Hetfield before the concert and I got his autograph.
One Upper: Yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.
Person: I have a a dislocated knee.
One Upper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.
One Upper: Yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.
Person: I have a a dislocated knee.
One Upper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.
one upper by Dawn Davenport December 1, 2004
Word of the Day on September 7, 2009
Related Words
the upper decker
the act of deficating in the upper tank of ones toilet leaving a foul stench undiscovered with the remnants of muddy water
the upper decker by face vol.4 May 23, 2009
uppies
Uppies! Uppie, uppie uppie! Hm... No uppie? It's Mr. Worldwide, it's Mr. 305. If you do not give me an uppie, I will piss all over your feet.
uppies by monkeysforsale May 4, 2021
upper perk
A small district in Pennsylvania known for being predominantly white, spending more money on sports fields than school supplies, and crashing cars into houses.
upper perk by Ngrglue August 6, 2016
upperqueef
upperqueef by StinkyNiglet February 3, 2019
Upper Decker
Step 1) Make sure nobody's around.
Step 2) Quietly open the lid of the upper-section of the victim's toilet.
Step 3) Quietly place the lid down on the floor.
Step 4) Then take a nice shit in the upper-section of the toilet without letting anybody hear you.
Step 5) Wipe your ass.
Step 6) Place the soiled toilet paper in the upper-section of the toilet or in a drawer or magazine.
Step 7) Slowly lift the lid off the floor with your fingers under it and carefully bring it over to the toilet.
Step 8) Here's the hard part; with your fingers under the lid
slowly place the lid on the toilet. No false moves or you're screwed.
Step 9) Leave and don't let anybody see you. Just bail as quickly as possible.
Step 10) Mission accomplished.
Step 2) Quietly open the lid of the upper-section of the victim's toilet.
Step 3) Quietly place the lid down on the floor.
Step 4) Then take a nice shit in the upper-section of the toilet without letting anybody hear you.
Step 5) Wipe your ass.
Step 6) Place the soiled toilet paper in the upper-section of the toilet or in a drawer or magazine.
Step 7) Slowly lift the lid off the floor with your fingers under it and carefully bring it over to the toilet.
Step 8) Here's the hard part; with your fingers under the lid
slowly place the lid on the toilet. No false moves or you're screwed.
Step 9) Leave and don't let anybody see you. Just bail as quickly as possible.
Step 10) Mission accomplished.
Plumber: It looks like you have feces in your toilet's tank.
Victim: It must have been an upper decker.
Plumber: Yeah right. Its already clear that you're stupid enough to shit in there!
Victim: It must have been an upper decker.
Plumber: Yeah right. Its already clear that you're stupid enough to shit in there!
Upper Decker by Mike_Litoris June 29, 2011
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